Take Me Home
by VRdee
Summary: If he had realized his feelings before Bruce had moved in, would Tony have done anything differently? Tony/Bruce Tony-Pepper friendship, Bruce/comfy beds, and everyone/pancakes.
1. I Think I May Be Falling

!Attention! This story is just barely AU, because in this universe Tony and Pepper have always just been friends. Don't get me wrong, I actually really like Pepper and I even like her and Tony together, but I find Tony and Bruce far more irresistibly adorable. Having her relationship with Tony never exist was actually out of respect to it. I wasn't going to make them break up, or try to paint her as a bad person, the way some fan fiction writers do when they want to get past an established couple, and I certainly wasn't going to have Tony cheat on her. If you like the idea of Tony/Pepper, feel free to go read a fic that focuses on them, because they're a good couple too, but if you watched the Avengers and were captivated by what a relationship between Tony and Bruce would be like (as I was), then you can enjoy my story without any established couple related guilt! I claim no ownership of any characters or trademarks in this story, and am making no profit off of it. Enjoy!

* * *

Tony grinned behind the wheel of his convertible, self-satisfied and victorious. He looked over to Bruce sitting beside him, a distant look on the other man's face. Sun glinted off his glasses, and the wind blew back his mess of curls. Tony felt a swell of pride at the sight of him. Bruce Banner was Tony's prize from a hard fought battle, one almost as difficult as the one fought against the Chitauri. It had taken Tony over a month to convince Bruce to come live with him at the newly dubbed Avengers Tower, but in the end he had beaten down Bruce's resistance.

Bruce hadn't come with out conditions though, but Tony had gladly met them. The Tower had been remodeled with the most Hulk-resistant materials, an entire floor had been repurposed into a Hulk containment room, and Bruce had been provided with everything he needed to start researching a cure. With those conditions met, Bruce hadn't been able to argue with Tony and his incessant pleading.

"I don't want to live in that big tower all by myself," Tony had said to him during one of his many campaigns to win Bruce over. That was only partially true, though. Tony had lived alone all of his adult life, in mansions larger than the Tower, and been perfectly content. The truth was that he didn't want to live in that big tower with out Bruce.

_Can't he see how much fun this is going to be? _Tony had never met anyone as brilliant as Bruce Banner, save himself, and the things they could accomplish together were overwhelming.

_Perhaps he's forgotten __**how**__ to have fun,_ Tony considered._ I'll just have to remind him then,_ he decided, feeling more than up to the task.

Bruce was deep in his own thoughts, considering the choice he had just made.

_I put up a worthy resistance,_ he told himself. He could feel secure in that knowledge at least. It had been exhausting, too, because truthfully, he hadn't really _wanted_ to turn Tony's offer down.

He couldn't explain to himself why, but he felt _safe_ with Tony Stark. It went even deeper than Tony having the wealth and power to stand up for him, although that was certainly a factor. When Tony was around, Bruce felt safe from _himself._

But that wasn't something Bruce could rely on. It was just an irrational feeling he couldn't shake. What he had to remember were his instincts, and what it took to survive. He had to be prepared to leave at any point and not look back.

_At least I'll have a place to stay and a lab to work in until then, _Bruce thought.

If he was completely honest with himself though, it wasn't the facilities or the protection that had tempted Bruce into this offer, it was the lure of companionship. He had been so long with out it, and for all of Bruce's wariness, Tony had given every impression of earnestly wanting to be his friend.

Tony parked the car in the structure beneath Avenger's Tower. Tony hopped out and got Bruce's duffel bag out of the back before Bruce was even unbuckled. Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Anxious to get me settled?" he asked.

"Little bit," Tony admitted. "I keep thinking you'll change your mind at any second. You put up such a fuss about coming here in the first place."

"_I_ put up a fuss? You relentlessly hounded me for over a month."

Tony shrugged. "I'm good at getting what I want."

"Remind me again why you wanted this so badly?" Bruce asked as Tony punched in the codes at the elevator.

"Because we're going to do brilliant science together. And because you need to know that you have someone on your side."

They stepped into the elevator.

"That being you?" Bruce asked.

"Do you see anyone else stepping up to be your champion?" Tony asked him. Bruce balked at the choice of words.

"My _champion_?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

Tony thought for a moment that he had said too much. How could he explain to Bruce what he couldn't even explain to himself? Despite the incredible generosity that he had already shown Bruce, he knew that he was willing to do so much more for the man. He would gladly walk through Hell and back for him, of this he was certain. That certainty frightened him a little, because he had never felt anything like it before. He imagined it would be even more frightening to Bruce, who had never received anything like it.

"Yeah, your knight in shining armor. Literally," he joked lightly, making Bruce roll his eyes.

Tony suspected that it was the philanthropist part of his "genius billionaire playboy philanthropist" title that made him so protective of Bruce. If anyone deserved some kindness after a shit storm of bad luck, it was Bruce Banner. He seemed to be the only one who wanted to give it to him though, so if the only break Bruce was ever going to get was the one Tony gave him, then he was going to give him one hell of a break.

When they arrived at Tony's penthouse at the top of the Tower, Pepper Potts was waiting for them.

_She's very pretty_, Bruce thought to himself. The prettiest part of her was how she smiled and met his eyes, and shook his hand without hesitation.

"It's nice to meet you Dr. Banner," she said.

"Please, call me Bruce," he told her.

"Come on," Tony clapped his hands on Bruce's shoulders. "I'm making you lunch," he said, and steered Bruce towards the kitchen.

Pepper sat across from Bruce at the bar and watched the two men interact while Tony cooked for them.

"So Bruce, I've been dying to know, where are you starting with your research now that you have access to my magnificent facilities?" Tony asked the other scientist.

_Humble as always,_ Pepper thought. That was Tony for you.

"Studying my own physiology, to start. There's still so much I don't know about my condition, any attempt at a cure would just be a stab in the dark at this point."

"Would you mind if I assisted? I'd be lying if I said your 'condition' didn't fascinate me, and it's been a while since I've used my knowledge of biology. It would make for a nice change."

Bruce smiled. "The brilliant Tony Stark assisting _me?_ I think that's a little backwards, Mr. Stark."

"Not at all!" Tony exclaimed. "Bruce, I can honestly say that you're the only 21st century mind I have ever encountered that rivals my own. You're a _genius_," he said.

Bruce and Pepper were both speechless, Bruce for never having received such praise and Pepper for never once hearing Tony give anything like it.

"If I'd been such a genius, I wouldn't have gotten myself blown up," Bruce laughed weakly.

"O contraire," Tony argued. "I've blown myself up plenty of times, although with admittedly less radiation involved. No true scientist has never blown up."

Bruce laughed genuinely at that.

Pepper couldn't help but notice the twinkle Bruce's laugh brought to Tony's eyes, or the way he leaned over the bar to be as close to Bruce as possible when they spoke. She saw that Tony kept getting lost in conversation with Bruce just to remember the food at the last second.

_Well_, Pepper thought to herself. _That's interesting._

She truly had not seen that coming, but she wasn't one to doubt her own instincts. Mostly because they weren't _instincts. _Virginia Potts had such a well honed power of observation that it was almost genius level in its own right. And right now, her observations were telling her that Tony Stark had much more than just a _scientific_ interest in Bruce Banner.

When the food was done, Tony set a plate before each of them.

When Bruce took his first bite his eyes widened in amazement. "Oh my…oh my god. How did you do this?" he asked, in awe.

Pepper laughed at his reaction, silently congratulating Tony for impressing the object of his affections. Tony himself puffed up with pride.

"Scientific principles are easily applied to the culinary arts. Cooking is an excellent hobby for any scientist," he said.

"I'm a terrible cook," Bruce admitted.

"Really?" Tony asked, sounding oddly intrigued.

"Oh yes, terrible. I nearly starved myself in India. Curry and I don't get along."

Tony Stark laughed gleefully at that.

Pepper smirked. _Laughing louder than necessary? Oh yeah, he has it bad for sure._

Through out the meal Pepper saw how Tony couldn't keep his hands off of Bruce. Sure, it was just touching his arm, again, and again…and again. But Pepper knew Tony. He wasn't _handsy._ The only time he slipped in contact like that was when he was interacting with an attractive woman, and even _then_ he didn't reach for them as much as he was for Bruce just then.

She shifted her focus to the man in question. He was probably only slightly shorter than Tony, but built in a way that made it seem more so. There was something oddly gentle about him. Odd, because of what she knew he could become. Still, he seemed to almost hide behind those thick curls and glasses. He had a good face, unique and rather charming, and his broad shoulders seemed to support a healthy physique. She wouldn't have ever looked at him and thought he could change a man's sexuality though.

_Change it, or discover it?_ She thought to herself. Tony was certainly attracted to women, (the behavior Pepper had seen from him over the years could not be faked.) But yet here he was, clearly infatuated with another man. Was it a passing phase? Or was Tony really bisexual?

_Does he know?_ Pepper wondered. That was what concerned her the most.

"I have some matters to go over with Pepper," Tony said once lunch was over. "Why don't you get settled while we talk?" Tony showed Bruce to his room on the other side of the penthouse, next door to his own.

_He even held the door open for him,_ Pepper noticed. These things might have all gone unnoticed if you didn't know Tony as well as she did, but each little action stood out plainly to her. It was the look in his eyes though that had her convinced. He looked at Bruce with _adoration._

"So?" Tony grinned at her once they were alone. "What did you think?"

"Aren't we supposed to be discussing Stark Industries?" she asked.

"Oh, that can wait," he dismissed her. "Come on, what did you think?"

Pepper paused before answering, choosing her words carefully.

"I think he compliments you very nicely."

Tony wrinkled his nose at that. "What do you mean? This has got nothing to do with me. He's great all on his own."

_Does he even hear himself?_ she wondered.

"That he is. He's clearly intelligent, and seems very personable. I was only commenting on how well you two get along."

Tony actually sighed dreamily. "Yeah…yeah we do."

"Tony…can I just ask…" How was she going to phrase this? Should she even say anything?

"Is there more to Dr. Banner than just his mind that you admire?"

Tony looked shocked. "Of _course_ there is! He's an incredible person! He's been through so much, and still has so much integrity." Tony could go on. And on. But he didn't.

"It's just that…the way you act around him…" Pepper said reluctantly.

"What?" he asked, frowning slightly.

"You act like…" she was starting to chicken out.

"Pepper," Tony said seriously, looking her in the eyes. "What?" he repeated insistently.

"You act like you're smitten with him."

His reaction was not what she'd expected. He laughed.

"Haha, I guess I sort of am," he said.

_He doesn't get it._

"I'm sorry, I should have spoken more clearly. Tony, it's like you're _attracted_ to him."

There, that was the reaction Pepper was expecting. Tony's mouth dropped open.

"Wha-? Pepper, that's not even…no! Pepper, that's crazy! I'm not… I'm not gay!"

"Are you bi?"

The question was so direct that he had no defenses prepared for it. He was too stunned to form words.

"Have you ever been attracted to men?" Pepper continued.

"_Pepper,_ there's a difference between knowing a man is attractive and being attracted _to him._"

"Do you think Bruce is attractive?" she asked, feeling slightly guilty for her ruthlessness.

He knew the answer he was supposed to give, but before he could Tony's mind was swimming with thoughts of Bruce. His eyes, dark brown hidden behind the shine of his glasses. His hair, thick and curled, and the way he would run his hands through it, pushing it back from his face when he was deep in thought. The sound of his deep voice and his soft laugh. The way he never quite buttoned his shirts up all the way…

_Yes. Yes I think he's beautiful_, Tony thought before he could stop himself, overwhelmed by a swell of emotion.

He felt suddenly dizzy.

Tony fell backwards onto his sofa. Pepper sat down besides him.

"It's okay Tony," she told him.

"How…how did I not see this?" Tony croaked.

"People don't usually see things unless they're looking for them," she said gently.

"God, Pepper, what do I do? I made him come live with me! What am I going to do about this?"

"You could tell him," she said, not expecting Tony to go for that.

"No! No way! He's been through way too much! He doesn't need this too. Besides, I don't want him thinking I'm some creep who lured him here for my own twisted purposes."

"Tony, it's not twisted."

"I'm not saying it's twisted because we're both men, Pepper. There's nothing _wrong_ with being gay. Or…whatever I apparently am…but there's no way he's not going to second guess my reason for bringing him here if I tell him. Besides, I'm sort of dealing with a major personal revelation here. I'd sooner keep it to myself until I figure this out."

Pepper agreed that that was probably smart.

"But still…how can I be around him now, knowing what I know? I can't pretend it's all friendly appreciation, not now that…the floodgate's open…"

"I wouldn't worry about it too much. He doesn't seem to have any clue. If you just act the same as before, everything should be fine."

Tony nodded.

"And who knows…" he smiled weakly. "Maybe this is just a passing thing."

"Yeah," she smiled back.

But as they moved on to discussing Stark Industries, Tony found himself thinking that he didn't _want_ it to be a passing thing. Sure, losing these feelings would make his life much easier, but the thought of losing Bruce in any capacity terrified him.

_I said I was willing to walk through hell and back for him…_ Tony thought to himself. _What's more hellish than unrequited love?_

* * *

I know there are already plenty of "Tony and Bruce grow closer while living together" fan fics, but sue me, I can't help but think that I can give it my own unique spin. If you review it would mean the world to me, and I'll private message you a response. If you want to critique me I would prefer a private message instead of a review, because truthfully praise is something I'd share with the world, while critique feels more, well, private. Thank you!


	2. Who Have I Been All This Time?

Bruce looked around the room Tony had provided him with. It was big. He wasn't sure exactly how big though, his perception was all skewed from having lived in huts and hovels over the last few years. But to him it seemed very big.

_Are all American bedrooms this big?_ he wondered to himself, having completely forgotten. He imagined probably not, considering Tony Stark's ever present need to impress.

There was a king sized bed, a TV, a desk, a computer interface on the desk, bookshelves stocked with unknown books, and what Bruce identified as a walk in closet. He headed there with his duffel bag.

He saw that, like the bookshelves, Tony had filled Bruce's closet for him. For the most part Tony had chosen very well; the button down shirts and slacks all looked like ones that Bruce would have bought for himself. At least…he thought so until he saw the brand names.

_Oh. Oh wow_.

He looked around the closet, suddenly aware that he was surrounded by more money than he'd ever had in his life, presented to him in the form of cloth. If that closet were a department store he would have walked right out.

_Is he giving me these?_ Bruce suddenly wondered. They were all in his size. For a moment Bruce wondered how Tony knew his size, until he remembered that all the Avengers had gotten complete physical scans, their dimensions recorded for Tower security. Trust a man like Tony Stark to use that kind of technology just to figure out Bruce's shoe size.

It didn't much matter if he was giving them to him or not, Bruce decided. Tony obviously wanted Bruce to use them while he was at the Tower, and if he was going to leave he wouldn't have taken anything besides his duffel with him anyway.

That was when Bruce noticed the tux. It was hanging in a plastic bag, so he hadn't realized what it was at first. He took it down and zipped it open.

_Where does he expect me to wear this?_ Bruce wondered. _It's beautiful, but…_ Bruce sighed. He'd come to judge something's beauty by how likely he was to destroy it. He hung it back up.

Leaving the duffel bag in the walk in, he headed back into the room and stopped at his new bed. He eyed it hesitantly before sitting down.

It felt really good.

He laid back on it. And then his muscles were _singing._

It felt fan-freaking-tastic.

Tony had given him the most comfortable bed in the entire world. Bruce found himself rolling around on it, wanting to feel it with every square inch of his body. He rolled completely over and lurched to a stop, thinking he was going to fall off the bed. He laughed when he saw how much space he still had.

That laugh got him going. He kept laughing. He couldn't stop. He laughed until he was out of breath and couldn't laugh any more, collapsing into a pillow. It was just so funny. So _flipping_ funny.

Suddenly he felt exhausted. He sunk into the bed and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he was dozing off.

Back in the main room of the penthouse Tony was drumming his fingers on the sofa's armrest, his feet on the coffee table. Pepper had been gone for almost a half hour now and Bruce still hadn't come out of his room.

The infuriating thing was that Tony was just as disappointed as he was relieved. Just as relieved as he was disappointed. It was driving him crazy not having him there. Having him there was going to be terrifying.

_Stop thinking about Bruce,_ he told himself. _Focus on yourself a little here. I mean, what the heck man? You like guys? Why didn't you tell me?_

"Well maybe you've just been so repressed this whole time you weren't willing to listen!" he snapped at himself out loud. Then he sighed heavily. He was arguing with himself. He was definitely freaking out.

_Okay, okay…forget that Bruce could walk in here at any second, forget about Bruce. Would you be okay with being bi if it weren't for this incredibly awkward situation?_ he asked himself.

Yes. Totally. Once he got passed the scary, life changing aspect of it, he actually rather liked the idea. He was already known for playing by his own rules, for overstepping boundaries, and for being a flirt.

Tony grinned to himself. He could flirt with _anyone_ he wanted to now. That thought was quickly followed by the startling realization that, on the flipside, had he been holding back? Had he had the same menu in his hand the whole time and only been ordering from half of it? Tony Stark didn't do that. Tony Stark had it all.

Yes, he could definitely see himself as happily bisexual. Which sort of begged the question, why had it never occurred to him before? Had he really been repressed?

_Looking back on it there have been a lot of men over the years who…well, I __**thought**__ that I was just appreciating obvious good looks, but…_maybe he'd just been assuming that straight men had the same thoughts that he did about other men. He was starting to seriously doubt that that was the case. Looking at it objectively, he realized that there really wasn't much of a difference between what he thought when he saw an attractive woman and when he saw an attractive man. He had just labeled one as "attraction" and one as "appreciation" because well, he'd always just assumed that he was straight.

And that was the answer. He'd just assumed that he was straight, and the human brain will do anything to maintain an accepted reality, going as far as to alter perception and all out _lie_ to you. Tony had read plenty on the startling research. And the whole thing was so automatic that it rarely left the subconscious.

Tony was relieved to realize he hadn't been hiding this from himself out of some great sense of shame over the years. It was a little aggravating to realize that even the astonishing brain of Tony Stark could be so common though. He was supposed to be better than that.

But apparently he wasn't, and he was going to have to live with the consequences. Namely, a man named Bruce Banner.

Tony groaned. The tentative ease he'd gained by coming to terms with his new found orientation was eradicated when he remembered that that was only half the problem. Possibly only one-third the problem.

"Men" was an easier term for Tony to think in than "Bruce." He could think to himself, "I like men" and he felt good, liberated even, a little bit empowered, he'd go as far to say.

But "I like Bruce" was a frightening thing. An overwhelming thing that made him feel trapped and small. He felt like he'd hopped over a puddle just to fall into a lake.

Because Bruce was…well, he didn't have the words. He could go on and on. Bruce was…the most amazing person he had ever met in his entire life. Tony could remember the first time he'd heard of him, about the accident he'd had. Most of the reports were about the "birth of a monster," fear mongering the dangers of radiation, casting blame on the researchers for not using better safety measures, going as far as to even say that Dr. Banner deserved what had befallen him. Tony had been oddly captured by the story, recording all coverage of it so that he wouldn't miss a single detail. After all, it wasn't every day a Hulk was born.

But it wasn't just the freak scientific occurrence that had interested Tony. He didn't know it until he found it, but he'd watched those reports searching for something. He found it on a small local channel, one that no one else probably ever saw. It had been an interview, less than a minute long, with a frantic teenager named Rick Jones.

"He saved me, he saved me. Someone has to help him, this is all my fault," the boy had said, pulling at his hair, terror in his eyes. It was no wonder he'd been dismissed as unhinged, his story never catching on. But Tony had believed him. There'd been a sincerity to his panic.

Bruce Banner might not have been the Hulk, if hadn't pushed a clueless teenager out of the way and willingly taken the blast of Gamma radiation that should have killed him. The whole world was calling him a monster on the day he'd become a hero. How could Tony not fall a little bit in love with a story that tragic?

_Yes…I'm a little bit in love with Bruce Banner,_ he thought to himself, by which he knew he meant _more in love than he could ever hope to express or comprehend._ But what to do about it? He couldn't act on it. He couldn't show it. It wasn't a fear of rejection that held him back, although he knew that was the only outcome he could expect. Bruce would surely do it kindly, apologetically even, unable to believe what Tony was saying, but remaining polite all the same. But then he'd leave. He'd leave and not tell anyone where to, and then Tony would lose his chance to help him, forever. That was the most important thing to Tony; helping Bruce. Tony wouldn't even care if Bruce hated him, if it helped him in the long run.

Who would have thought it? Selfish Tony Stark, spoiled Tony Stark, playboy, narcissist, loving someone more than he loved himself.

He would suffer for Bruce, and he'd do it gladly.

As if in reward, that was when Bruce finally came out of his room.

"Sorry," he yawned, a sleepy smile on his face. "I fell asleep."

_He's so cute,_ Tony thought, his heart swelling with affection. What right did a grown person have being that cute? It shouldn't have been legal. How were well meaning philanthropists suppose to put their own desires aside when he was so cute? But Tony had known it wouldn't be easy.

"That's alright. You've earned a rest. Do you want to go see your lab now?" Tony asked him.

Bruce's eyes lit up.

"Yes, thank you. That'd be great."

Tony smiled and led him to the elevator.

* * *

I know it's a short chapter but I thought this was the right moment to end it. I thought I should mention that my comment about Tony being a flirt wasn't to imply that all bisexuals are flirts, just to segue into him being pleased that he can now flirt with both genders. As always, reviews are very much appreciated! Love.


	3. I Feel These Sparks And Swells

The elevator doors slid open and Bruce had to blink several times before he would believe his eyes.

"There's so much…" he said amazed, looking at all the equipment Tony had gotten for him.

"If you need anything customized I can build it for you," Tony replied.

Bruce turned away from the dazzling lab and looked instead to the man who'd given it to him.

_He's given me so much and yet he offers me more,_ Bruce thought, feeling undeniably touched. What had he done to deserve so much generosity?

"You know, Tony, if I cure myself of the Hulk then I won't be much use as an Avenger any more," he felt the need to say for some reason. Tony gave him a puzzled look.

"Why would that matter? You'd have your life back. Besides, you weren't recruited for the Hulk, you were recruited for that big beautiful brain of yours."

There were many words used to describe Tony Stark, but the one that came to Bruce's mind the most often was one that people tended to overlook. Tony was such a freaking _optimist._ He was always relentlessly trying to show Bruce the world in a brighter light. If Bruce was ever down, Tony refused to let it be. "No," his eyes would say. "No, you're happy. What are you talking about? You're happy, Bruce." Maybe if he spent enough time with Tony he'd start to believe it too.

"I _will_ say that I think it wouldn't be half bad if you kept the Other Guy around," Tony said, picking up a test tube and inspecting it, despite it being completely empty.

"You know I can't do that."

Tony frowned at him, that twisted little frown he wore when he wasn't getting his way. This had been the main arguing point between them when Tony had been convincing him to stay at the Tower. Bruce wanted the Hulk gone, Tony thought he should stay. But Tony didn't _get_ it. The Hulk was like a big shiny toy to him. The Hulk was to Tony what a monster truck was to an eight year old. He thought he was exciting and cool and didn't seem to notice how _dangerous_ he was!

That was the thing Bruce would never understand about Tony Stark.

_Why aren't you afraid?_ he'd look at him and think. _Why?_ Everyone else was. Some were brave enough to hide it, polite enough to pretend otherwise, but Tony was the _one_ person, the only one who had never shown Bruce an ounce of fear. He wasn't hiding it; it was not _there._

_He's crazy,_ Bruce had eventually decided. If phobias were an irrational fear of something, there should be a word for an irrational _lack _of fear. Because Tony had that for the Hulk. Tony might have had that for everything.

"It's your choice," Tony said, obviously displeased.

"I thought you'd decided to help me with the cure. You wanted to assist me, remember?" Bruce reminded him.

"I do, if it's the only way you'll go about this. I want to study your condition with you, but I'd rather the goal be accepting the Hulk instead of eradicating him."

_Accepting the Hulk? Only he would ever say something like that._

"Well…like I said, we're a long way away from even attempting a cure so…it doesn't really matter. You can help me learn more about my physiology in the mean time.

"So we're agreeing to put this off until then?" Tony asked.

"No," Bruce smiled. "I've made up my mind and am placating you."

Tony grinned at him. "Cheeky," he said approvingly, and with that they silently agreed that they _were_ putting it off until later. But Bruce hadn't lied. He _had_ made up his mind. But he was willing to at least hear Tony out if he still insisted on it. It was the least he could do for the man who'd given him so much.

"Well," Tony said, looking around the lab. "Where should we get started Dr. Banner?"

"Samples. Blood, skin, hair, urine. And readings. Brain waves, heart rate, pulse, stress tests-"

"Stress tests? Is that a good idea? I didn't think you liked being stressed."

"If we're going to study my condition then we're going to have to walk pretty close to the green. I might even have to purposefully transform a few times. You did build me the room I asked for correct?"

"To your every specification. Am I going to have to chase after the Hulk with a syringe for blood samples and what not?"

"Maybe," Bruce said, half bashfully. "Would you be willing to do that?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tony laughed. "I'd pay you to do that. How many people get to wrangle a hulk?"

"Most people don't consider it a privilege," Bruce smiled a little sadly.

"Well that's where I'm different," Tony said, setting a hand on Bruce's shoulder and looking him square in the eyes. Bruce held his gaze until Tony looked away, taking his hand off of Bruce's shoulder in order to brush imaginary dust from himself. He coughed and mumbled, apparently having decided that the moment had lasted long enough.

But the message had gotten across before he'd looked away. Tony was there for him. Determinately there for him. Bruce didn't see Tony as a particularly changeable person, but he hoped Tony wasn't biting off more than he could handle by trying to help him. It was clear he was going to try his damnest before he would give up though, and that was a comfort. The stubbornness he'd shown while convincing Bruce to live with him could serve Bruce well in his search for a cure.

"Okay, let's get to work," Bruce said.

At the end of the day they had a bio-fridge full of bits of Bruce Banner, and a growing digital library of blown up images of his cells and 3D models of his DNA strands.

"You're so mutated!" Tony had exclaimed at one point.

He would have been insulted if it weren't true, and besides, Tony had been fascinated. Where other people saw a freak, Tony saw…well, a freak as well, Bruce suspected, but a freak that he found really really cool. That was a nice change of pace at least.

When the sun had started to set they packed up and headed back to the penthouse.

"I'm gonna make you dinner," Tony announced as they existed the elevator.

"Oh no, you don't have to do that," Bruce told him. He'd already made him lunch and helped him in the lab all day.

"I want to," Tony said, already in the kitchen.

_Let him show off,_ Bruce reminded himself.

"Okay," he said, sitting down at the bar again, having nothing better to do than watch Tony cook.

He was more focused on it than he had been that afternoon. Lunch had kept almost burning, and yet it had been utterly splendid. Bruce wondered what he could accomplish when he was actually paying attention. Tony hummed to himself, and danced subtly as he went about the kitchen.

There was an energy about Tony Stark that Bruce found…soothing. For a man who made a point of irritating most of the people he came across, Bruce wasn't sure why he had that effect on him. When Tony was stubbornly dogging him about something it could get him a little worked up, of course, but for the most part…he just liked being around him.

_I'm always angry,_ Bruce thought. _But with Tony I forget about it sometimes. The Hulk gets…quieter when he's around._

Bruce didn't know what to make of that. It wasn't very scientific. He supposed it was a theory you _could_ plausibly test, but he could just picture what a bothersome variable Tony Stark would make.

He chuckled softly, making Tony look up from his work.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing…I'm just in a good mood."

Tony looked as surprised to hear his words as Bruce felt to have said them. Then he laughed too. They laughed together and Bruce found himself thinking that coming here might very well have been the right thing to do, and maybe he shouldn't worry so much. And then he laughed harder because when was the last time he'd thought something like _that?_

When the food was ready they took it outside and sat on the roof, looking out over the city lights sparkling in the night.

"This is beautiful," Bruce said, trying not to think about his likelihood to destroy it.

"I didn't build the Tower for the view," Tony said. "But it is a very good view none the less."

The cool night air blew across Bruce's skin, pleasantly chilling, and at first he didn't even think about jumping, but he did eventually. His thoughts always led him back there in the end. His suicidal fantasies had become so commonplace that he'd stopped paying them much attention, but that night he tried to chase them away.

_Not tonight,_ he thought. _I don't want to think those thoughts tonight._ _Today was a **good** day, the first good day in a very long time, and I should think about something good._

So he thought about Tony. The man who sat beside him, the man who'd made him the _best_ food and given him the _best_ bed and the _best_ lab and well, really seemed to only want the best for him. No ulterior motives. Bruce hadn't put that past him, he was a scientist after all, and a billionaire CEO. He could've wanted to use Bruce for a profit, but when Bruce had asked, multiple times over the last month, what Tony wanted from him in return, Tony had never asked for a thing.

"You deserve a break," he'd said.

_Yes. I do. But why do you care?_ he'd thought. Life had made him cynical, and hardened him. But Tony had had a better life than him, and there was a sort of purity to him. No one else would ever call Tony Stark pure, especially not himself, but he was. He wasn't broken the way Bruce was.

_Can you fix me?_ Bruce asked him silently, looking at him out of the corner of his eye. It was such a silly thing to think. Of course Tony couldn't fix him. No one could, and it wasn't his job to. _You could fix a supercollider or a space station, could you fix me?_ Even if Tony helped him find his cure, that wasn't even the beginning of fixing Bruce Banner. He hadn't been a well adjusted person before he'd become the Hulk's alter ego, and he wouldn't be one after the Other Guy was gone either. _Please, you're the only one who cares._

Why was he letting himself think like this? When was the last time he had cared what happened to himself? All he cared about was keeping others safe.

But it was hard not to care about himself again when Tony was there, telling him he was worth something. Tony didn't know it, probably hadn't intended it, but the kindness he had shown to Bruce…meant more than the world to him.

When they'd finished eating Tony picked up Bruce's plate and got up.

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"I want to," Tony interrupted, deciding the matter. He smiled and headed back inside.

Maybe Tony wasn't all about showing off. Sometimes he did seem to just want to be nice. It occurred to Bruce for the first time that maybe Tony hadn't given him so much just because he was wealthy and it was easy. Maybe Tony realized exactly what this meant to Bruce, that it wasn't just a trifle, and he really did want Bruce to be this happy.

That was a little overwhelming.

Tony Stark was quite possibly the most amazing person Bruce had ever met in his entire life. He was so glad that he had.

_And the best part is,_ Bruce smiled to himself. _I get to sleep in that bed._

He liked the idea so much that quickly that's exactly what he did. He said good night to Tony and thanked him for the day, and disappeared into his room. Tony stood over the sink, washing their dishes. He had a dish washer of course, but it was one of those things his dad had always made him do himself, and he liked to think while he did it.

_That went very well,_ he thought to himself. _I only stared at him, what, twenty, fifty times today?_ Bruce had been so immersed in his work that he hadn't noticed. Thank goodness.

_I can do this. I can do this. Icandothis._ He took a deep, steadying breath. He could get up every day for the next however long it took for Bruce to develop a cure, probably several years, and he could look at Bruce and talk to Bruce and not grab Bruce or kiss Bruce or confess his undying love and devotion to Bruce. He _could._

Oh, but it was so _hard._ He'd never loved anyone like this before. The one other thing he had ever wanted this badly in his life was to get out of that damn cave, and that had been an actual life or death situation. How could liking someone feel as intense as his own survival had?

Every time Bruce distractedly ran his hand over his curls, Tony wanted to grab it and kiss it. Every time Bruce spoke to him, he wanted to respond with "I love you." Every time Bruce looked at him he wanted to scream.

_Why can't I have you?_ Tony lamented, giving himself over to a moment of angst. _Why are you sleeping in the other room instead of in mine?_ He just wanted to hold him. Well, he wanted to do more than just that, but first on his list was holding him. _I know I could make you happy._ He knew he could. _But you'd never want me._ And he couldn't expect him to.

Tony shook his head to clear it. He had to remember what was important. What Bruce needed was a friend. Someone who he could trust. Tony still wasn't sure getting rid of the Hulk was the right thing to do. After all, the big green guy had saved his life. He didn't believe that he was all bad. How could he be, if he was a part of Bruce? He was hoping that he could convince Bruce of the same thing, and he could tell that there were a lot of issues to work through before Bruce would stop hating the Hulk. There was a lot going on beneath Bruce Banner's surface, and as much as Tony liked his surface, he wanted to delve into what really went on inside the man.

Bruce could monitor his heart with a machine all he wanted to, but Tony would be looking after it in his own way.

* * *

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. I can't promise that I'll continue to update as often as this, but so far this story has just flown from my fingertips. I hope you enjoyed!


	4. If I Trip And Stumble

Tony woke up just before seven in the morning, feeling suddenly wide awake. His mind whirled for a moment before he remembered why he felt so agitated.

The day before had been a big day.

What exactly had happened? Oh yeah, he'd gotten a new roommate, realized he was in love with said roommate, and that he wasn't of the sexual orientation he'd always presumed to be. He'd started the day thinking that only one of those things was going to happen, and he'd gotten a lot more than he'd expected. Keeping that in mind, he had no idea at all what this new day would have in store for him.

_Maybe I'll be adopted by an elderly Korean couple, or I'll discover the moon really is made of cheese. One really can't be sure about these things anymore,_ Tony thought as he pulled on a shirt, the cloth snagging and then slipping over his arc reactor.

Once he was fully dressed he stumbled from his room in search of coffee. He found it in the usual spot, and once he'd drunk some the room seemed significantly less wobbly.

"Good stuff," Tony mumbled into his mug and sat down at the bar. He took a moment to look around the quiet penthouse.

_Bruce must still be sleeping,_ he thought. That wasn't unreasonable. Tony didn't usually get up this early either.

Tony headed down to his lab to pass the time until he felt like making breakfast. He was working on a new Iron Man suit to replace the one the Chitauri had smashed up. He could have repaired the old one easily, but why do that when there was always a better model to be made? He didn't think he'd ever stop upgrading the Iron Man suit.

He'd made a few major tweaks and adjustments when his coffee ran dry and he felt hunger clawing at him. He looked at his watch; 8:43. He would have usually been up by now, so he rode back up in the elevator, wondering if Bruce was awake yet.

He arrived to a penthouse just as quiet and empty as it had been when he'd left. He went to the kitchen and opened the fridge, staring indecisively at its contents. He didn't want to make breakfast yet if Bruce still wasn't up. Since he had admitted to being awful at cooking, Tony had sort of decided to always do it for him. Obviously Bruce had gotten by alright on his own for all those years, he wasn't emaciated or anything, but it was one of the few outlets Tony had for his secret affection.

_Making all his meals. It's like I'm his doting wife or something,_ Tony thought. _Wait, is that sexist? Also, don't picture yourself in a frilly apron. Don't. Don't. DO-! Damn it… I look fabulous._

Tony slapped at his cheeks, trying to stop the bizarre train of thought that was getting away from him. He closed the fridge, which he'd been holding uselessly open for much longer than he should have. Then he remembered that he really was hungry, and opened it again. He grabbed an apple just to have something. Then he poured himself more coffee.

He sipped his coffee and crunched his apple as slowly as possible, looking anywhere to keep himself from staring at Bruce's closed bedroom door. The minutes ticked by, and by the time his cup was once again empty and his apple down to the core, it was after 9:30

_Bruuuuuuuuce,_ Tony whined silently, collapsing head down on the bar. _I'm so hungry, why won't you let me eat?_ Although really he knew it was himself keeping him from making breakfast. Bruce would have been completely confused by Tony's behavior.

"You didn't have to wait for me," Tony could imagine Bruce saying.

"I wanted to," Tony growled out loud. Finally it occurred to him that he could at least get started on breakfast in the mean time. If Bruce still wasn't awake by the time it was done…well, Tony would have no choice but to go in there and wake him up.

Sure enough, when Tony was done cooking, Bruce's door had still yet to budge.

_Okay,_ Tony steeled himself. _Go time._ He turned the knob and eased Bruce's door open slowly, not sure why he was being so quiet when the point was to wake him up.

When the door was completely open, light from the rest of the penthouse poured in from behind Tony and lit up the dark room, giving Tony a good view of the sleeping man in front of him.

Bruce was sprawled gently across the bed, his legs were stretched out and his arms spread out around his head. It was like he was trying to take up as much possible space as he could. His blankets were tossed away from his upper body, so Tony could see that he'd decided to wear some of the pajamas he had bought for him, and that, either he'd chosen not to button the shirt at all, or he'd somehow managed to undo each button in his sleep. The exposed skin drew Tony's eyes.

_Am I honestly reacting to the sight of his bare chest right now?_ Tony asked himself. _Yeeeessssss,_ his mind responded to him. He couldn't help it. Bruce was just in such good shape, and his chest hair had the same salt-and-pepper that his curls had, and Tony loved Bruce's hair.

_Huh. I've never been aroused by chest hair before, _Tony thought to himself. It was a little bit odd, but it made sense that his new found bisexuality and his life long identity as a straight man wouldn't be perfectly resolved right away. There was still a part of his brain saying that it was weird to be attracted to masculine things, despite the clear evidence that he _was._

_Shut up brain, I'm enjoying this,_ he said to his annoying social programming. Alarm shot through him right then as he realized that he was standing in Bruce's room, checking him out while he _slept_.

_What am I doing?_ Tony balked, horrified with himself. _I have reached major creeper status! I only came in here to wake him up!_ But now that he was there he wasn't sure how to do it. He took a hesitant step closer to the bed, but was frozen when he looked at Bruce's sleeping face.

His head was turned into his pillow, showing Tony his profile framed by the curls that had become messy in his sleep. His lips were ever so slightly parted and his eyelashes looked longer than they did when he was awake. He looked so…_pretty._

_Oh God, this is too much for me,_ Tony thought. There was also something sort of sad about how relaxed Bruce looked, how lines of worry had disappeared from him.

_I wish he looked like this when he was awake…_ Tony thought. Seeing him without it made Tony realized how much weight he must carry around with him each day. Tony had to stifle a sigh, looking at Bruce's sad, beautiful face.

_I'll just let him sleep,_ Tony finally decided. He'd feed him whenever he woke up, whatever he wanted. Tony had just turned to walk out when a sleepy voice stopped him.

"Tony…wcha d'n here?" Bruce mumbled, sounding oddly happy.

"Oh…I was…" Tony hadn't expected him to wake up, and it was kind of hard to form thoughts while Bruce was looking at him with that sleepy, half-lidded smile.

"I came to see if you were awake. I made breakfast," he finally managed to say.

"Oh, thnk y…" Bruce said, shifting onto his side and snuggling into his pillow.

_Shouldn't be legal,_ Tony thought.

"So…do you want it?" Tony asked, a little confused. Bruce had closed his eyes again. He'd seemed barely conscious to begin with.

"Ys," he said by way of an affirmation. "Whadja make me?" Bruce asked, eyes still closed.

_I don't think he knows what he's saying, _Tony realized. Bruce tended to be relentlessly polite, and even that slight hint of entitlement in his question seemed like something he wouldn't say. The last time Tony had seen Bruce with his guard down, he'd been looking at the Hulk. As much as he liked the Hulk, he liked this even better.

"Come to the kitchen and see," he said, not able to help his own smile.

"…nooo…" Bruce moaned into his pillow.

"Come on. Get up!"

"Uhhgh, Tony I don't want to," Bruce said, sounding slightly more awake.

"It's after ten," Tony told him.

"What!" Bruce yelped, rocketing upwards. He looked around like he was surprised to be there. He grabbed the blanket that rested on top of him, and after feeling it for a moment he seemed to remember that he was in the Tower, and that he was supposed to be there. When he'd settled, he looked down at himself.

"What happened to my shirt?" he asked, puzzled.

_So he did unbutton it in his sleep,_ Tony thought.

"I don't know, but you should get dressed. By the time you eat breakfast it'll be time for lunch."

Bruce smiled sheepishly at him. "Sorry," he said, and got out of bed. Tony took that as his queue to leave the room and let Bruce change.

When Bruce came out and met Tony in the kitchen he was wearing the purple shirt he'd worn the day they met and a pair of the pants Tony had bought him. He had tamed his hair back as well, which came as a slight disappointment as well as a relief to Tony. He'd loved seeing those curls all loose and wild, but that only made it harder to resist running his hands through them. It was better this way.

"Are you just going to keep cooking for me?" Bruce asked when he sat down at the bar.

"Yes," Tony said, glad to have that established. "And if you so much as utter the words 'you don't have to' I am going to lock you in the Hulk room."

Bruce took that in stride. "Hey, I still haven't seen the Hulk room," he said.

"You're right," Tony realized, thinking about it. "I really didn't give you much of a tour yesterday. I'll show you around today."

"Sounds great," Bruce smiled before taking a bite of the omelet Tony had made him. After his first bite he looked down at it, then back up at Tony, tears of gratitude practically brimming in his eyes. "Seriously. How do you do this?"

Tony laughed. "I think your years of burnt curry and other travesties have made you easily impressed."

"That may very well be true. Thank you all the same though," Bruce said, and dug back into his food.

When they were done and their dishes were in the sink, they headed to the elevator and Tony pushed the appropriate button to take them to the Hulk room.

It was a big empty space. The same indestructible material had been used to make the walls and floor and ceiling, although Tony had them painted different colors. It had seemed too eerie other wise. It was now different shades of blue. He'd considered using green, but he hadn't thought Bruce would appreciate the joke…

Bruce walked slowly through it, a darkness in his eyes as he inspected it. There was that weight again, back on his shoulders. He ran his hand along the walls, looked up at the ceiling, stared hard at the corners. Tony wasn't sure what exactly he was determining.

"This is all perfect," Bruce said, not managing to sound happy about it. "Thank you,"

"The least I could do," Tony said, even though it had taken millions to build. He wasn't telling Bruce that though. "I installed cameras too…I thought it might be necessary at some point to see inside here with out going in. Also you can record yourself and watch it later…"

"Thank you, that could be useful."

Just minutes ago he'd been so cheerful. And now he was so grim. It was breaking Tony's mechanical heart.

"So um…want the rest of the tour?" Tony asked, wanting to get out of that room.

Bruce smiled weakly at him, as if realizing how his mood was affecting Tony. "Sure," he said.

Tony took him to all the different labs and showed him them their specialties; the LMD lab, the clean energy lab, and one of Tony's personal favorites, the laser lab (not being used for weapons, of course, but cool none the less.) There were more than that, but Bruce was most interested in seeing Tony's own personal lab.

The look on Bruce's face when he stepped into Tony's lab did a lot to make up for his unhappiness in the Hulk room.

"This is incredible," he whispered, looking about the room in awe. He walked over to the latest Iron Man suit that was Tony's work in progress.

"You're making another one," he said.

"Correct," Tony told him. "This one will be able to function in space."

Bruce smiled. "So I won't have to catch you again?"

"I thought the Hulk did that," Tony said. Bruce had insisted over and over again that what had taken place during the battle had been the Hulk's actions, and that Tony should stop trying to talk to him about it, because he didn't remember anything.

Bruce frowned. "That he did. And I still don't know why. I knew that he would smash what needed smashing, and hoped that he would avoid doing the same to you guys, but I never thought he'd purposefully help you like that."

"See. I told you he's not all bad."

"Maybe. But one good deed doesn't make up for an entire existence of destruction."

"Says you," Tony frowned. "Speaking as the recipient of that one good deed, I think my life counts for an awful lot."

"I didn't mean to say it didn't…of course your life counts," Bruce said, frowning.

"And the Hulk saw that," Tony said pointedly.

"For all we know the Hulk only caught you because your armor was shiny," Bruce said dismissively.

"I _saw_ him when I woke up," Tony insisted. "You looked- I mean, he looked…" he hadn't meant to slip up like that.

Bruce turned and glared at him. "We're not the same, Tony."

But was that really true? Tony wasn't sure it was. How could it be a coincidence that Tony, the one person that had been friendly to Bruce since his accident, was also the one person the Hulk had ever shown concern for? It was one of the ways Tony was trying to reconcile himself with "curing" Bruce. If the Hulk was gone, he wouldn't be truly destroyed, he'd live on in Bruce. But…Tony wasn't sure that Bruce _could_ be cured as long as he waged this inner war against the Other Guy.

Bruce was approaching his condition as a medical problem. Tony saw it more as a psychological one. Unfortunately, that was not a science he was skilled at. And talk therapy didn't seem to be working, judging by the cross look on Bruce's face.

"I thought we were going to save this conversation for later," Bruce said.

"I'm not trying to talk you out of a cure. I'm just theorizing about the Hulk's true nature."

"I know his nature," Bruce said, his voice dark. This was not going how Tony had wanted it to go.

"I-…okay, sorry. I give up," he said, not wanting to upset Bruce more than he had.

Bruce's eyes widened, his anger replaced by sudden surprise.

"Really? You're just…letting it go? And apologizing?" he asked.

"Yes," Tony told him.

"But…but you never do that," Bruce said, speaking aptly.

Tony shrugged. "True. But who knows, if I keep arguing with you then you might turn big and green, and since you would apparently have zero regard for my safety, you might kill me."

Tony wished he hadn't said that. The words had come out so much harsher than he'd meant. He'd give anything to take them back, but he couldn't, and he couldn't take the hurt look out of Bruce's eyes.

"I wouldn't do that," Bruce insisted, sounding wounded. "I have more control than that, I…" he looked away shamefully.

_Oh God._ Tony wanted to throw himself at Bruce's feet and beg him to forgive him. He hadn't expected him to react that way. He hadn't really thought out his comment at all, but usually when he said things that _biting_ people just got pissed at him. He was used to people being pissed at him. He could handle that, but not this.

"Bruce, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was just… just being _mean_. And stupid. Don't let my stupidity make you feel bad." There. He'd managed to apologize with out completely freaking out.

But Bruce just looked at him with those big brown puppy eyes, and suddenly Tony's thoughts were going elsewhere. He wanted to still that slight trembling to Bruce's lips…

_Don't think about kissing him right now! You don't deserve to kiss him, you're a jerk!_ Tony yelled at himself silently. Luckily for him Bruce looked away, his eyes to the floor.

"It's okay… I'm glad you didn't mean it," he said.

"Of course I didn't mean it." Tony couldn't stop himself, he put his hand on Bruce's arm. He tensed as soon as he did it, thinking that he shouldn't have, but Bruce seemed to appreciate it because he looked back up at Tony with a little smile.

"Okay…all is forgiven," he said.

"_Thank you,_" Tony stressed, letting the relief show in his voice so that Bruce knew how sorry he really was.

"We should head to your lab now," Tony said. "That cure isn't going to develop itself," he said as a penance.

That made Bruce smile and helped Tony feel a little less worthless.

As they got back to work in Bruce's lab Tony resolved himself to working diligently. No more long, staring-at-Bruce breaks. He was going to work long and hard and tirelessly until-

"Tony, _really_, it's alright."

Tony looked up from the thirtieth slide he'd catalogued. Bruce was looking at him, a concerned look on his face.

"What do you m-"

"You don't have to work yourself to death just because of an off handed comment. Seriously."

Tony frowned down at his microscope. "But I feel so-"

"I am not that delicate, Tony," Bruce interrupted him for the second time, his voice firm. "You're sorry, I believe you, I'm over it. Just relax and stop acting like you're afraid to even look at me."

_God he's spot on,_ Tony thought. _He doesn't even realize how much._ He felt silly for treating Bruce like he was made of glass. Of course he wasn't. He was the strongest person Tony had ever met, in more ways than one.

"Okay. You're right," he said to Bruce. Bruce smiled.

"Good," he said.

They worked for the next few minutes in silence, until Tony felt the urge to say something, extend a hand of friendship, just to prove they were back on steady ground.

"Hey…there's a gym a couple floors down. Wanna check it out after this?" He wasn't sure if Bruce was a fitness buff or anything, but he obviously kept healthy, and it seemed more up Bruce's alley than the arcade, or the other recreational options at the Tower. He figured Bruce wouldn't want to venture out anywhere, being the recluse that he was.

Bruce smiled, looking pleased by the offer.

"Sounds great. Exercise calms me down. I'm glad I'll be able to work out while I'm staying here."

Tony grinned to himself. _Success,_ he thought. And then he spent the rest of their time working trying not to think about Bruce getting sweaty and exerting himself.

_Ugh,_ Tony thought. _You really can't remain appropriate for any stretch of time, can you?_ he asked himself.

But that was just who he was. He was inappropriate and bold, and sometimes he tripped and fell flat on his face for not being able to keep his mouth shut. But apparently Bruce could handle that. He hadn't gotten angry, or scoffed, or ignored him, he'd just…forgiven him. And then made sure that he forgave himself. What remained of Tony's heart swelled with emotion.

He didn't think anyone had ever done that for him before.

He was never going to hurt Bruce's feelings ever again. For as long as he lived.

Across from Tony at the work table Bruce looked over at him, glad that they'd made up. The idea that he would hurt Tony over a simple disagreement had upset him, but he had realized quickly that in his own snarky way, that had been the point Tony was trying to make. Tony didn't just expect Bruce to remain in control, but to not hurt him even if he did transform. He trusted him that strongly.

Bruce knew that he was supposed to be alarmed by that, that it was wrong for him to let Tony wander blindly into the lion's den, that he should make it clear to Tony that he _wasn't_ safe with him no matter what, but…

He would never hurt Tony. He felt that deep down to his core.

Deep down to the Hulk inside.

* * *

Hello, it occurred to me that in a previous chapter I talk about Bruce's back story and use the Hulk origin story from the comics, instead of the one from the Incredible Hulk film which was also briefly mentioned in the Avenger's movie. I admit, I never saw the Incredible Hulk, and I don't think I ever will because I don't think anyone should play Bruce who isn't Mark Ruffalo, all respect to Edward Norton, but I realize that I'm taking a bit of a liberty as a fan writer by changing those details to suit me, so I hope nobody minded.


	5. I Can Count On You

**This chapter is called:**

**"I Can Count On You"**

**or**

**"Pancakes"**

The next day Tony found the penthouse as empty as he had the morning before, but this time something was different.

Bruce's door was open, and he was not in his room. Tony saw his empty, unmade bed and rushed inside. Bruce wasn't hiding in his walk-in or in the bathroom. A wave of terror passed over Tony and he felt a panic closing in on him.

"JARVIS," Tony asked the empty air. "Where is Dr. Banner?"

"He is in his lab sir," the faithful AI told him. "He went there in some hurry at 6:57 AM this morning."

Tony was relieved to hear that Bruce hadn't disappeared in the night. He'd been so tense that relaxing gave him a head rush. He did wonder at his abrupt awakening though, considering how long it had taken him to get up the day before. "He wasn't looking at all green was he?" Tony asked, trying to find an explanation.

"Not that my cameras detected, sir," JARVIS informed him.

Figuring that he would have to investigate for himself, Tony headed to the elevator. He arrived at the lab to find Bruce hunched over a microscope, scribbling at a notepad.

"Someone's working hard," Tony said to get his attention.

Bruce jumped, and then laughed nervously to steady himself. "I had a sudden thought that woke me up and I had to look into it."

Tony raised an eyebrow at that. Was it possible Bruce had found a cure after only two days? Bruce was a genius, to be sure, and the lab he'd been given was cutting edge, but still…

"And what thought was that?" Tony asked, pulling up a chair next to Bruce. He leaned his elbow on the table and rested his head in his palm, looking at Bruce side-ways and trying to keep his gaze interested instead of adoring. It was difficult though, with Bruce in his lab coat, his glasses slipping down his nose. His hair showed signs of having a hand run through it several times in recent history. He looked every bit the dedicated scientist, and for some reason Tony found that to be a turn on.

"I was wondering what removing my residual Gamma radiation would do to me. It's not enough to cause any harm to anyone else, but I _am_ still slightly irradiated."

"Your findings?" Tony asked.

"It would kill me," Bruce said, a finality to his voice. Tony felt a jolt of alarm.

"Well then we better not do that!" he exclaimed.

"A different path will need to be taken, yes," Bruce agreed. He leaned back in his chair and lifted his glasses to rub at his eyes.

"You look tired," Tony commented.

"I can't help it," Bruce sighed heavily with a smile. "That bed is so relaxing. I used to be tired all the time from lack of sleep, stuck on straw mattresses and worse…but now I'm sleepy because I'm enjoying sleeping so much."

"I'm glad I could help with that," Tony said. He had to quickly corral his imagination in order to keep from picturing himself even more involved in Bruce's sleeping habits.

"That workout wore me out, too," Bruce told him, smiling fondly at the memory.

Tony remembered too. Bruce had gone straight to the treadmill, bumping it up to a speed higher than Tony had ever used before, and running a longer distance than he'd thought possible. Tony had felt a little inferior, occupying himself with some of the lighter weights while he waited for Bruce to wear himself down. When he finally did step off of the treadmill, panting and sweating, he'd worn a satisfied look on his face.

"I'm going to go take a shower," he'd said, and then _jogged_ to the elevator.

"You uh, you really like to run," Tony commented.

Bruce gave him a wry smile. "Fitting, huh? Considering how I'm always on the run. But no, you're right. I like the endorphins. It helps."

"The adrenaline doesn't aggravate anything?" Tony asked.

Bruce shook his head. "Just anger, danger, and pain. The Hulk can apparently tell good adrenaline from bad adrenaline. I can be thankful for that much at least."

"You called him the Hulk," Tony noticed.

Bruce thought about that. "Well, it's harder for me pretend he doesn't exist now that he's part of a super hero team. And he did name himself that for whatever reason."

"Did he really?" Tony asked, surprised. He'd thought the media had named him. "I didn't know that he talked."

"I'm told that he does. Well…I've read police reports that claim he does. Not very much, but he is fond of shouting the occasional 'Hulk smash!'" Bruce said, adjusting his glasses and looking mildly disgruntled by that.

"That's funny," Tony grinned at him.

"You have a weird sense of humor," Bruce told him. Then he frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not sure I like calling it the 'Hulk room' though…"

Tony perked at that. "Why?" he asked, curious,

"I don't know…maybe I just don't like being reminded of its purpose every time we talk about it." Bruce shrugged, wondering if he was being overly sensitive.

"We could call it the green room," Tony suggested.

Bruce quirked his head to the side at that. "But it's blue."

Tony laughed. "Well it just feels wrong to call it the blue room."

"But it's a blue room," Bruce said simply.

Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "You know what I mean," he insisted.

Bruce smiled, giving up the act. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I like that better. Let's call it the green room."

"Deal," Tony agreed.

"So, what's for breakfast?" Bruce asked. Now that Tony was up it felt like the day had actually started.

"I don't know, but it'll be served with Pepper," Tony told him.

"She's coming over?" Bruce asked.

"Yup. I'm going to need to be working in my lab today. There's this project for Stark Industries I'm contributing to and she's bringing over the designs. JARVIS will let us know when she gets here."

"JARVIS?" Bruce asked. "Your AI?"

Tony's eyebrows rose on his face. That surprise in Bruce's voice…"Did I forget to introduce you to JARVIS?" he asked.

"You did, sir," the computerized voice spoke up. "I thought it impolite to intrude."

Tony slapped his forehead. "I didn't mean to forget. Bruce, JARVIS, JARVIS, Bruce."

"A pleasure to meet you Dr. Banner," JARVIS greeted him.

Bruce smiled. "Good to meet you too," he said. "I've heard a lot about you. I wasn't sure if you were…staying at the Tower as well."

"I am fully integrated into all of Mr. Stark's residences and his Iron Man suits," JARVIS informed him.

"I never go anywhere without him," Tony smiled.

"Oh, so you _are_ capable of a committed relationship," Bruce joked with a smile. Tony had to laugh and pretend that it didn't bother him just a little bit to hear Bruce say that. He didn't want Bruce thinking he was like that, despite the fact that he _was_ like that, and he'd never been particularly ashamed of it before. He did go around calling himself a playboy after all, listing it among his top four attributes. That wasn't who he wanted to be anymore though. Not now that there was Bruce…

It didn't matter what Bruce thought of his reputation, he reminded himself, because he and Bruce were never going to be anything more than what they were. Friends, colleagues, fellow Avengers. A relationship with Bruce was so far outside the realm of possibilities that Tony thought the gods must be playing a joke on him by making him want it so badly.

_I'm going to have to talk to Thor about that…_ he thought to himself. He wondered idly about how that scene would play out.

"On Asguard we do our courtship through battle," he could imagine the blond man booming proudly in his Old English. "Have you tried hitting him with a hammer?"

"Tony? Tony!" Bruce interrupted his reverie.

"Huh-what?" Tony asked, startled back to reality.

"You were spacing out. JARVIS just said that Pepper's here."

"Oh. Okay." He didn't think the hammer thing would work anyway. He headed to the elevator with Bruce.

Pepper was once again waiting for them in the penthouse. This time she sat at the bar, helping herself to some coffee.

Bruce noticed her give him a searching look. He'd seen her giving him appraising looks when they'd first met, but this was slightly different. It only lasted a moment though, and soon her eyes shifted to Tony, greeting him with a smile.

Bruce wondered what Pepper truly thought of him. She was more relaxed around him than most were, but there was still an air of caution about her. Bruce got the impression though that Pepper was simply cautious by nature, a byproduct of the level headedness that made her so useful to Tony.

Tony sidled up to Pepper, leaning against the bar.

"So," he said, looking around like they were making a drug deal. "You got the diagrams little girl?" he asked, sounding like a 40's mobster.

"Yes," Pepper answered him simply, not playing along. She handed him a flash drive.

"Don't lose this," she warned him, looking him in the eyes.

"Pepper, it was only that one time…"

"And it cost the company millions."

"I have millions to spare."

"You also have brain cells to spare. I don't see you tossing those away."

"Pepper, did you just compliment my intelligence?" Tony asked, sounding touched.

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Your intelligence doesn't _need_ complimenting."

"You just did it again!"

"That was less of a 'it goes with out saying' comment and more of a 'your ego is already big enough to eclipse the sun,' sort of thing."

"She's so mean to me," Tony turned to Bruce and whined.

Bruce almost visibly jumped at being pulled back into the conversation. He'd gotten rather mesmerized watching the two of them interact. He'd forgotten about that side of Tony; the relentless cheeky banter. Usually he just bull dozed people with it, but Pepper had a certain way of keeping up with him, just barely, and seemingly against her better judgment. It wasn't like Tony never teased Bruce, it was just that…was he wrong in thinking that Tony went a little easier on him now? Bruce wondered why that was. By this point Bruce was positive it wasn't out of fear for the Hulk, as Tony Stark had none, but it had been a while since Tony had poked him with anything sharp or electric…

"So, what do you guys want for breakfast?" Tony asked the two of them.

"Pancakes," Pepper answered, almost immediately.

Tony grinned at her. "You should make them then," he said. Bruce was surprised by the excited look Pepper got in her eyes.

"Do your culinary skills fail you when it comes to pancakes?" Bruce asked Tony, hoping for an explanation.

"No," Tony said, a smile on his face. "Pepper just really likes making pancakes."

"Shut up," Pepper said as a preemptive strike against the teasing that was to come. She said it with a barely hidden grin though.

"That child's joy experienced the first, oh, say four or five times you successfully flip a pancake, has lasted our dear Pepper her entire adult life," Tony said.

"I don't think I've ever made pancakes," Bruce admitted.

He wasn't expecting the twin looks of shock he received from both Pepper and Tony.

"_Never?!_" Tony exclaimed disbelievingly.

Bruce shook his head, feeling a little intimidated.

"Not even as a kid?" Pepper asked, actually sounding _sad _for him.

Bruce's childhood was certainly something worth feeling sorry about, but a lack of pancakes was hardly the beginning of it.

"Um, no," he said, trying not to think about what he _had_ experienced as a child. "I mean I've _had_ pancakes of course, but I've just…never…made them." It was starting to get unnerving how they were staring at him.

"We have to fix that!" Tony said.

"Agreed!" Pepper exclaimed.

"But I can't cook," Bruce stammered, feeling alarmed.

"Doesn't matter, we'll help you!" Tony said.

And to Bruce Banner's complete and utter astonishment, he soon found himself pushed in front of a frying pan, being instructed on how to make _pancakes_ by a world renowned super genius and a high ranking business woman. Pepper stuck a spatula in his hand and guided him through her favored flipping motions while Tony rattled off "the only pancake batter recipe you would ever want or need." They were both talking to him and showing him things at the same time, but their chatter quieted when it came time for Bruce to actually flip his first pancake.

Bruce frowned down at the soft circle of exposed dough, the spatula held awkwardly in his hand. He looked first to Pepper, then to Tony, both of whom gave him encouraging looks.

_This is ridiculous,_ Bruce thought. What was the big deal about making pancakes? Had he really been missing out on something so momentous all these years?

Taking a deep breath, knowing he would have to do it to satisfy them, he slid the spatula under his pancake with one sharp, smooth strike, lifted it into the air, and with a quick flip let it fall back to the pan.

It landed with a loud slap, and some batter splattered on impact, but all in all, it seemed a success. Bruce looked to Pepper and Tony for their approval.

They were looking at him like he'd just done a triple-back flip instead of flipping a pancake.

"Did you hear that smack down?" Tony asked excitedly.

"So fluid…so elegant…" Pepper whispered.

"Have you ever heard anything so _satisfying?_" Tony asked, bursting into a brief victory dance.

"Almost courageous, really…" Pepper said, giving Bruce a congratulatory pat on the arm and looking at the pancake proudly.

Bruce just had to smile. It creeped across his lips slowly until he was cracking a full on grin. These people…these people were insane, silly, ridiculous. These were the best people in the Universe.

Bruce and Pepper switched back and forth between making pancakes, Tony wordlessly adding various things to them as they went. Pepper and Tony had to stop Bruce from flipping the pancake too early almost every single time.

"But it's burning..." Bruce said the first time.

"It's not burning, Bruce, it's only been 15 seconds," Pepper told him.

"Wow, you really don't have any cooking instincts, do you?" Tony laughed. Bruce flushed. It was the truth. But with help from Tony and Pepper he managed to produce successful pancake after successful pancake. All he had to do was flip when they told him to.

By the time they were done they had more pancakes than they could ever possibly eat, with most of their contents a complete mystery. Their pancake feast was loud with laugher as they fought over pancakes and questioned Tony's choice of ingredients. Bruce was so happy he felt like his heart could burst.

But just around the same time that he started to get full, the euphoria started to leave him. It drained from him slowly, until he was suddenly very aware of just how out of the ordinary this experience was for him. He felt sick and heavy, like his heart had stretched out too far and now it had deflated. This wasn't who he was. This wasn't his life. His life was darkness and misery and rage. He didn't know how to do this. He'd been doing so well but now he'd lost all his momentum. He looked across the bar to where Tony and Pepper where still talking and laughing, unaware of his emotional shift. He felt suddenly dead inside. The memory of his own laughter now rang hollow in his ears. Suddenly he couldn't bare to be there one second longer.

"Excuse me," he said, getting up abruptly. "I'm going…" he couldn't even finish his sentence. He fled to his room.

Tony and Pepper were left staring after him.

"Is he okay?" Pepper asked.

"I don't know," Tony said, his voice sounding dark. "Wait here, I'm going to go check on him."

"Be _careful,_ Tony," she said. He knew what she meant, but he wasn't worried about that. Bruce would have gone to the green room.

Bruce shut his door behind him and didn't stop to turn on the lights. He stumbled through the dark to his bed, hyperventilating. Even once he was lying down, his vision swam with vertigo. His bed suddenly felt like a boat rocking in the ocean, unsteady beneath him. He edged to the floor and sat with his back pressed against the bed instead, his arms wrapped around his knees.

"Bruce?" Tony was outside the door. Bruce tried to respond to him but his throat had closed up.

"Bruce I'm coming in," he said, and opened the door. He saw Bruce rocking back and forth in the dim light and frowned deeply. For some reason Bruce couldn't bring himself look at him. Tony moved the light switch up ever so slightly, so that he would be able to see once he shut the door.

He crouched down next to Bruce in the dim light and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Bruce? What's wrong? Do you need to go to the green room?" he asked.

"N-n-no," Bruce stuttered. His teeth kept hitting each other. "N-n-not angry. Or in danger, or p-p-pain. I'm ha-ha-ving a pan-pan-ic…panic attack-ck."

Tony could see that.

"Move over," he said gently, adjusting Bruce so that he could sit behind him. Tony leaned up against the bed and Bruce leaned meekly up against Tony. Bruce was dimly aware that he could feel the smooth metal of Tony's arc reactor pressed against his back, but it wasn't at all uncomfortable. Especially not with Tony's arms wrapped around him.

"Feel my breathing," Tony told him softly. "Do you feel how calm that is? How steady? Just pay attention to that," Tony said, taking deep breaths so that Bruce could feel it.

Bruce tried to feel the rhythm of Tony's chest rising and falling, but it was hard to focus through his own rapid breathing. Tony was warm though, and that helped. It helped to feel that warmth and just know that he was there. Even if Bruce couldn't breath, at least Tony was there.

What finally stilled his breath was the sensation of fingers in his hair, running through his curls, stroking at his scalp. It sent a rush of deep comfort through him, and with each touch his breathing slowed. Soon he was taking deep breaths in the form of ugly, noisy gasps, but he wasn't hyperventilating any more, and the sound of Tony's breathing helped to drown him out.

Once the rise and fall of their chests were finally matched in rhythm, Bruce calmed down enough to realize that he had dug his nails into the back of Tony's left hand, which was wrapped around his waist. He relaxed his hands, but couldn't seem to be able to take them away, so he merely rested them on top Tony's. Tony's other hand slipped from Bruce's hair and landed purposefully on top of his hand, massaging at Bruce's wrist lightly with his thumb.

"Your pulse is normal," Tony whispered.

Bruce collapsed against him, a wave of exhaustion hitting him. He knew that he shouldn't, that Tony shouldn't have to keep supporting him, literally holding him up, but he was just so tired. He relaxed against him, his head against Tony's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked quietly.

Bruce couldn't answer. He burst into tears.

He hadn't meant for this to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to expose himself to Tony like this. Even if these were the wrong emotions to trigger the Hulk, he wasn't supposed to lose control like this, not ever. But here he was sobbing, and Tony was holding him, whispering to him, trying to comfort him.

"I've never been this happy…in my entire life," he managed to say, his face hidden behind his hands, both wet with tears.

"You have a funny way of showing it," Tony said.

Bruce laughed, but his throat was so dry that it turned into a cough.

"I'm not…I'm not used to this…" he said.

"What, being cuddled?" Tony asked. Bruce laughed again, and shifted out of Tony's lap, because that was admittedly where he'd been. But when he moved to sit beside him against the bed he seemed too far away, and he started to feel afraid again, so he hugged Tony's arm to his chest. He was a little embarrassed, but he figured after what Tony had just seen, there weren't a lot of boundaries between them at the moment. He rested his forehead on Tony's shoulder, hiding his face as he spoke.

"Being accepted. Appreciated. Having fun. Laughing."

"You talk like you never had a life before the Hulk," Tony said, sounding raw with a confused sort of empathy. Bruce's pain could be heard in Tony's voice.

"Not a good one," Bruce mumbled. The warmth of Tony's arm felt good against his skin. He pressed against the muscle, trying to stay the headache that was threatening to appear.

"Bruce…" Tony whispered, his voice sounding pained.

"What?" Bruce asked, looking up at him.

Tony hadn't meant to say anything. The other man's name had simply slipped from his lips against his will.

"…I was going to say that… you don't have to be afraid anymore," Tony said, searching for the right words to say. "I'm here for you Bruce, no matter what. You're my…you're my _friend_. And nothing could ever change that. _Nothing. _I will always be there for you."

"Thank you…" Bruce whispered, too exhausted to say anything else and over come with joy for the second time that day. He was starting to understand that if he had a panic attack every time Tony made him happy then he would never stop having them. He laid his head back on Tony's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Tony sat there with him until Bruce fell asleep, and when he did, he lifted him into his still un-made bed and tucked him in. Bruce was heavy, but Tony was more than strong enough to carry him.

He dimmed the lights, and with one last look at Bruce's sleeping face, he went to see if Pepper was still there.

She was. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"He's sleeping now," Tony said, feeling exhausted himself, despite how early it was in the day.

"Panic attack?" Pepper asked.

"You could tell?" Tony asked.

"I listened by the door a few times, just to make sure you were both okay. As you know, I've seen my own share of panic attacks. It wasn't hard to figure it out."

"I've never had to do that for anyone before…" Tony said.

Pepper smiled sadly at him. "You've only been on the other side before now."

Tony looked her deep in the eyes. "Thank you so much Pepper, for everything you've ever done for me. I never knew how scary it was to have someone in your arms but not be able to reach them until now. I wouldn't have gotten past my abduction if you hadn't been willing to do that for me…honestly, I don't know why I'm not madly in love with you, you're perfect."

Pepper smiled brightly at him, genuinely touched.

"You're my best friend Tony, but I think we both know why you're not in love with me. You were meant for him." After spending the morning with them, she couldn't have been more convinced of that.

Tony shook his head. "No, no he's the one I should be friends with. Then I could be there for him with out having to feel so guilty. He must think I've done this incredible thing for him, but he has no idea how excited I was just to have an excuse to touch him, to run my hands through his hair at long last, even an excuse as awful as _that._"

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Tony, and you shouldn't be so convinced that this is the most you'll ever get," Pepper told him.

Tony snorted. "What, someday he might drown and then I'll get to give him mouth-to-mouth?"

"No, Tony, he could love you back."

"Pepper, don't _say_ that! What are the chances that he's even interested in men?" Tony said.

Pepper furrowed her brows at him and put her hands on her hips. "Things aren't always as clear cut as that, Tony. I think the chance that he might fall in love with the one _person_ who has always shown him nothing but kindness and generosity and love are _very_ high."

"He'll love me as a friend, but that's not… I want…"

"Sex?" Pepper asked before Tony could figure out what he was saying. He flushed red. There was something accusatory in Pepper's voice.

"Tony I have never felt the slightest interest for another woman in my entire life, but if I met a woman who looked at me the way you look at Bruce then I would _want_ her."

"But that's you! You can't expect that sort of openness from everybody! Bruce is different!" Tony argued.

Pepper sighed. She adjusted her purse to her shoulder and stuck her sunglasses back on her head.

"You're right, he is different," she said, and stepped forward to kiss Tony on the cheek goodbye. When she pulled back she looked him in the eyes.

"But maybe not as different as you think he is. Think about that, okay? And don't forget to work on those designs. The flash drive's on the bar. Don't lose it," she said, and left for the elevator.

Tony stood in the middle of his empty penthouse and sighed. It was only barely after noon, and already he felt like he'd lived a week packed into one day.

Could Pepper be right? Was his love for Bruce not completely hopeless? Could he tell him and not completely ruin everything?

Tony remembered the way Bruce had clung to his arm, even after the panic attack and the tears were over. The way he'd nuzzled his forehead against him…it'd sent shivers through Tony's whole body, but surely to Bruce it had only been for comfort…

Tony was too tired to think about this. It could wait. So could those designs. It could all wait.

Tony was going to join Bruce by taking a mid-day nap. He just wished that it could happen in the same bed.

* * *

Things got pretty real in this chapter. I sincerely hope I pulled it off well and that Bruce having a panic attack in reaction to being happy made sense. You might be wondering why he didn't turn into the Hulk. Well, every fan fiction writer in this fandom has to come up with their own ideas about what triggers the Hulk. A lot of them seem to make Bruce extremely susceptible to transforming, having him be triggered by anything from mild annoyance, to arousal to just anything that gets his heart rate up. The impression I got from the movie was that he actually had a pretty good lid on it, and the only things I saw make him transform were 1) anger (when he lets it out and transforms for battle,) 2)danger and 3) pain (a combination of which made him transform after the explosion at the helicarrier, although he was also angry at that point, so I guess it was a combination of all three.) I'll explain more about Bruce's relationship with the Hulk next chapter.

If you could leave me a review letting me know you're enjoying this story, that would be great! I don't care if all you say is "like," if words don't come easy to you, I just want to know people are reading.


	6. I Am So In Love With You

Bruce woke up angry.

Very angry.

Angry at himself.

He'd lost control, humiliated himself, and put Tony in an awkward situation.

_I hate you,_ he thought to himself as he gritted his teeth. _All you ever do is mess everything up._ He felt the adrenaline coursing through his body, his heart pounding in his chest, and beneath the rage a distant part of him realized that he needed to get to the green room. It was too late for his regular meditation, the rage had been stewing inside him while he slept, whispering to him in his nightmares.

He stumbled from bed, tripping on a blanket that clung to him. That sent another surge of aggression through him.

_I want to smash something!_ Despite it being the Hulk's words, it was still him thinking it. He had time to get to the elevator.

Bruce wrenched his bedroom door open, pulling a hinge loose from the wall. He looked down at his arm and saw that he was going green.

_This is all your fault,_ he though as he stumbled into the elevator. _If you weren't such a pathetic cry baby loser, you wouldn't be losing control right now. You wouldn't be turning green like some disgusting mutant freak._

Bruce screamed and smashed his hand against the wall of the elevator. It left a dent.

"Do you need some assistance Dr. Banner?" the British AI asked him politely.

"Yes! Take me to the damn containment room!" Bruce shouted at the computer, barely restraining himself from cussing JARVIS out. He'd tried to find the right floor himself, but every time he looked at all those buttons the numbers swam in front of his eyes and it made him so _angry._

"Right away," JARVIS replied, and the elevator started moving.

Bruce paced around the small box as it slowly became smaller, gritting his teeth to hold back his roars and screams. Unsuccessfully. They escaped him all the same. He threw himself against the walls, screaming and kicking and tearing out his hair.

The Hulk wanted to smash. The Hulk wanted to smash stupid puny Bruce Banner.

_No,_ Bruce begged his traitorous psyche. _No, I don't want this._

Oh but he did want it. He wanted it so badly. It was all he wanted, all he'd _ever_ wanted. Just to rip apart and destroy and terrorize. That way no one would ever hurt him, ever again. He was the strongest one there was.

The elevator doors opened and Bruce stumbled blindly out into the hall. His vision was going green, and there was barely any of him left. Soon he'd be gone.

He looked down at his green, muscled arms, his huge hands. He might not have disappeared yet, but the Hulk was already there. He roared with the Hulk's voice, an earth shaking cry that shook his entire oversized body. JARVIS, in all his artificial wisdom, opened the doors to the green room. Bruce was past the point of opening them himself.

With his last burst of consciousness Bruce threw himself inside, only letting go once he heard the doors close behind him.

His last thought before he blacked out was:

_I wish Tony was here._

At that moment, Tony was in his lab working. His attempt at napping had been fitful, and lasted less than an hour. Giving up, he'd decided to make Pepper happy and work on those designs.

"Sir, there is a situation. Dr. Banner is currently making use of the Hulk room," JARVIS told him.

Alarm and calm washed over Tony in a bizarre combination. He stepped away from his console and headed to the elevator.

"Thank you JARVIS, and we're calling it 'the green room' now."

"I shall update my records, sir."

Inside the elevator Tony surveyed the damage that had been done. There was a relatively shallow dent at fist level on one side of the elevator, and several deeper dents at foot level on the other. Tony saw torn out strands of Bruce's grey/brown hair on the floor. There were also a few buttons that could have only come from the shirt Bruce had been wearing.

_What set him off?_ Tony wondered. All he could think of was the panic attack. There'd been no sign of the Hulk while it had been happening; Bruce hadn't even fought Tony's embrace, which panicking people sometimes did to those trying to help. He'd just sunk into him, so frail…

Tony looked at the dents again. Bruce certainly wasn't frail at the moment.

Stepping out into the hall on the green room floor, Tony was alarmed by the vibrations shaking the walls. The green room had been completely soundproofed, and yet he could still catch the faint hint of screaming. Bruce had assured him that his designs would hold the Hulk, but he'd apparently forgotten to mention the word "barely."

"JARVIS, bring up the video feed. On mute, please."

A holographic screen blinked to life on the wall next to the green room doors. Tony stepped over to it and observed the scene that was taking place just feet away from him on the other side of those doors.

He was alarmed by what he saw, but instead of fear all he felt was sadness. All anyone else saw when they looked at the Hulk was danger, destruction, even evil. What Tony saw in that moment was pain. More pain than he could even begin to comprehend, all on the big green shoulders of the man he loved.

The Hulk hadn't been half so fierce the one time Tony had met him before. During the battle he'd basically been having _fun_, happily smashing whatever he wanted to. He'd even shot Tony a brutish smile

He wasn't smiling now. He was pounding the same spot on the wall over and over again, causing the vibrations that Tony felt on the other side. Tony could see the Hulk's anger multiply every time he smashed at the wall and it refused to be smashed.

Tony couldn't watch him any longer. It was too painful and he was too helpless.

"JARVIS, show me the security feed of Bruce leading up to his transformation. Un-mute, volume at 50%." Maybe that would give him a better idea of why he'd transformed.

The first thing Tony saw was Bruce's door jerk open, and a green tinged Bruce stumble out into the light. He glanced down at his arms and, spurred on by what he saw, rushed to the elevator. Inside the elevator, the expression of overwhelming rage on Bruce's face made Tony's heart race. It might have been covered in green veins, but it was still Bruce's face, and Tony would have never imagined that it could be twisted so monstrously. He saw Bruce scream and punch the wall. It was Bruce's voice mangled by rage, and it was Bruce who continued to throw himself violently around, looking for all the world like he was trying earnestly to beat himself to death.

_No, don't._ Tony thought, cringing. This was worse than watching the Hulk, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.

He was turning a deeper shade of green, and buttons were popping as his gaining mass tore his shirt to shreds. The seams of his pants split, but managed to hang on. Soon Tony's view switched to a camera in the hall where he now stood, and he watched as the last traces of Bruce Banner receded into the roaring, gargantuan creature that was the Hulk. Even at 50% volume, the Hulk's roar threatened to make Tony's ears bleed.

The feed ended, and Tony was left feeling like he'd been hit by a bus.

He honestly hadn't known that Bruce had that in him.

_I'm always angry,_ the man had said. And yet Tony hadn't believed him, not really. After witnessing Bruce transform against his will for the first time, Tony was beginning to understand just how much he didn't understand. Maybe he was wrong, and the Hulk really had consumed Bruce's mind completely at that point, but to Tony's eyes, that had been _Bruce_ screaming with rage. Bruce trying to beat himself bloody against the walls of Tony's elevator. Bruce tearing out his own hair, the hair that Tony loved so much.

Tony had known that Bruce hated the Hulk, but this was the first time he'd realized that Bruce hated himself just as much.

Tony was interrupted from his thoughts when he realized the vibrations around him had gotten much stronger.

"JARVIS, show me inside the room again, now!"

The Hulk was breaking the wall.

His muscles had become grotesquely ripped, veins popped all along his body, and green blood flushed his face nearly to black. His fists had pounded a dent into the wall nearly as big as he was.

This wasn't supposed to be possible. The Hulk wasn't supposed to be this strong. Tony had never seen the Hulk this strong, not in any of the footage he'd seen, and he'd seen it all. Then again, he realized, he'd never seen him this angry before either. The Hulk clearly did not like being trapped.

_What do I do? _Tony thought, beginning to panic. If he got out of that room then it was all over. Bruce would leave the Tower, of his own free will or against it, hauled off by S.H.E.I.L.D. Tony might never see him again. Bruce would lose all the hope that Tony had worked so hard to give him. Everything would be ruined.

_It was Bruce in that elevator,_ Tony thought, a sudden certainty come over him. _And it's him in that room right now._

"JARVIS, let me in there!"

"Into the green room, sir?" JARVIS asked, not able to understand something so counter-intuitive.

"YES!" Tony shouted.

"Sir, safety protocol-"

"Over ride code 23367489! And close the doors behind me!" Tony yelled at the computer.

"Very well sir," JARVIS relented, unable to argue. The doors to the green room slid open.

Tony ran into the room, and it was only once he was shut inside with a two ton muscle monster over come with blind rage, that he realized that he should have put the Iron Man suit on first.

"Hulk!" he shouted. Why? The green giant hadn't even noticed Tony was there, he would have had a chance to slip out if he'd just kept quiet.

But now the Hulk had stopped his assault on the wall and turned to face Tony. The Hulk stared him down, panting and wheezing like a feral beast, his massive green muscles heaving. His lungs were so powerful that Tony could feel his breath hitting him hot in the face from twenty feet away. Even at that distance the raging gargantuan seemed to loom over him. Strength and hatred radiated from the Hulk in palpable waves. In that moment, Tony became very very aware of just how easily the Hulk could tear him limb from limb, until there was nothing left of him but shreds of flesh sitting in a bloody mess. Would the Hulk burst Tony's organs in his hands like they were balloons? Would he snap his bones in two, or merely use them to keep hitting the wall, the obliteration of Tony Stark nothing more than a moment's distraction from the Hulk's quest to escape?

Tony was terrified.

Tony had never been so terrified in his entire life. He hadn't felt this close to his own demise at times when he'd actually been dying. He wanted out of that room more than he'd wanted out of the cave in Afghanistan.

He took a step forward.

The Hulk roared at him, nearly bursting Tony's ear drums.

Tony took another step.

The Hulk slammed a massive green fist against the floor, shaking the whole room, blasting Tony with another roar.

Tony took step after step until he'd half-way closed the distance between them. Ten feet away, and he still had to crane his neck up to look at the Hulk, but look he did. He stared up at the Hulk's face and started to shed slow, silent tears.

He didn't know which he was more overwhelmed by; how very very afraid he was, or how much he didn't care.

"I love you," he told the Hulk.

What happened next was so utterly incredible that for a moment Tony forgot that he didn't believe in God.

The Hulk cocked his massive head to the side, the look on his face shifting from murderous to inquisitive.

"Iron?" he asked, his voice so big and clumsy that it was almost…almost funny.

Tony gaped. The Hulk had just talked to him. And he wasn't looking like he was going to kill him anymore.

"Yes! I'm Iron Man!" he finally exclaimed once he found his voice. The voice that the Hulk had recognized.

The Hulk looked lazily from Tony to frown at his dent in the wall. Then he sat down with a massive thud!

"Why Hulk in big trap, Iron?" he asked Tony.

"Well, uh…" _I built it so your alter ego could lock you there?_ "It's less of a trap and more of a…quiet room." _Really Tony?_ "A nice place for you to…settle down. And relax."

The Hulk simply grunted.

_Did he really buy that?_ Tony wondered, surprised.

"Iron nice man," the Hulk said casually, as if starting a new conversation.

Tony was stunned. And flattered.

"Um, thank you. Thank you a lot," he said.

"Hulk catch Iron," the Hulk said, sounding proud of himself.

"You did!" Tony said, glad that the Hulk remembered that Tony being alive was a _good_ thing. "Thank you for that. I would have died if it weren't for you."

The Hulk scowled. "Iron no die," he said, sounding very annoyed by the idea.

"I'll try my best not to."

The Hulk leaned forward, staring hard at Tony.

"Why Iron cry?" he asked.

_Ummmm…_ he had no idea how to answer that. He merely stared back at the Hulk, eyes wide and looking alarmed.

The Hulk shrugged, letting it go.

"Iron let Hulk out?" he asked instead.

"Um, gee buddy, I would, except you wouldn't really fit through the door right now. If you wait until you get small again then you wouldn't have to smash up your nice quiet room."

"Hulk no like be puny. Hulk like smash!" the Hulk said, a grin breaking out on his face.

"But, um…" Tony searched his mind for what to say. "If you start smashing again then we won't be able to talk. You like talking to me, don't you?" he asked, giving the Hulk a nervous version of his best winning smile.

"Hulk like Iron…" the Hulk agreed thoughtfully, his eyes narrowed at Tony. He glanced at the dent in the wall, then back at Tony. "Hulk like Iron more than smashing," he decided.

Now _that_ was possibly the greatest compliment Tony had ever received.

"I like you too, buddy," Tony said, telling the truth. Once he'd gotten past his abject terror, the Hulk had proved to be quite the pleasant conversationalist.

"Iron said…Iron _love_ Hulk," the Hulk said, looking puzzled.

Tony gulped. _He remembered that?_

"What 'love'?" the Hulk asked.

_Oh God. Oh really? I have to explain love to the Hulk? I wouldn't be able to explain love to a five year old, let alone a giant green five year old who's spent his whole life hated and hunted. And then there's the ever so convenient fact that he happens to turn __**into**__ the man that __**I**__ love, is an extension of that man, so really I love him too, and, oh God. Oh God, if you're really there, thank you for not turning me into Hulk mashed Stark jelly, but this is, this is…"_

"Love is when you care about someone more than you care about yourself," Tony blurted, the words pouring from him unbidden.

The Hulk stared at him, silent.

"…Iron care about Hulk?" he asked, sounding a bit skeptical.

"Yes. Very much," Tony admitted.

The Hulk's brow furrowed into an expression of deep, deep thought. He seemed to be grappling with ideas that were a bit outside his mental capacity.

"Hulk love Iron," the Hulk finally said, coming to the realization.

"Really?" Tony asked, sincerely surprised and extremely touched.

The Hulk nodded. "Yes. Hulk catch Iron. No matter what. Hulk will always catch Iron."

Tony felt tears welling up in his eyes again. That was…that was…

_Fucking adorable,_ Tony realized, stunned. _The Hulk is fucking adorable!_

"Um, thank you," Tony said, sniffling and brushing at his eyes. "Can I…can I give you a hug?" Tony asked, overwhelmed by the sudden desire.

The Hulk didn't appear to have any idea what he was asking for, but he nodded any way. Tony closed the last ten feet between them and wrapped his arms around the Hulk's giant green torso, his hands barely reaching the Hulk's sides.

"Feels nice," the Hulk grunted with approval.

"Yeah," Tony said, pressing the side of his head against the Hulk's massive chest. His skin was so much hotter than a regular person's.

"Mmmm…nice," the Hulk hummed.

It was a while before Tony noticed the Hulk shrinking between his arms. When he did, he saw that the Hulk was down to just regular enormous man size, and his green was fading.

"Bye Iron," the Hulk grinned at him. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out.

Tony watched him shrink until it was Bruce Banner lying unconscious at his feet, small and pink and wearing severely stretched out pants.

_Ummmm…_ Had this experienced broken his brain? Tony didn't seem to be able to form thoughts any more. _What do I do with him?_ Tony wondered, looking at Bruce's sleeping face.

_They really do look a lot alike,_ Tony thought. _Y'know, besides one being huge and green and the other not so much. Their faces aren't all that different._

Tony looked down from Bruce's face and got his first look at the man completely shirtless.

_You have to stop doing this,_ Tony told himself. _Stop checking him out while he's unconscious. It's not right._

That didn't keep him from admiring how well muscled Bruce was.

_Why have I never noticed how nice muscles are before?_ Tony wondered. _They're pretty flipping great._ Of course, he had noticed before, but he'd never realized that he was noticing. He'd see a well built man and start wondering about his exercise routine instead of thinking about…well, what he was thinking about now.

_You are seriously the worst person ever,_ Tony told himself. _The man's just been through a traumatic experience, on top of yet another traumatic experience, and here you are trying to picture what he would look like without those ridiculous clown pants on. You're a cad Tony Stark._

The cad Tony Stark was interrupted by his thoughts when Bruce started to stir.

"Mmn…wha-?" he mumbled as he slowly blinked back into reality.

Bruce assessed his situation. He was in the green room. He had barely any clothes on. And Tony was leaning over him, looking concerned.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked groggily, trying to focus through his head ache.

"Nope. Perfectly fine. You and I had a nice little talk."

Bruce blinked at Tony. Surely he'd misunderstood.

"Wait…you and I…while I was the Hulk?" He was so confused.

"Come on," Tony said, giving him a hand up. Bruce had to grab his pants to keep them from falling off.

"There's some video footage you have to see."

* * *

Yes, Tony is going to show Bruce the video footage that has him telling the Hulk "I love you."


	7. I See You Now

"You hugged the Hulk."

Tony's heart was pounding in his chest like a jack hammer, and that was all the man could say?

"Yes…"

"Tony…I have no idea what I just saw…" Bruce admitted, a sincerity to his confusion.

"You saw me…having a conversation with the Hulk."

Bruce looked away from the screen to Tony. His stunned expression cracked as he broke into a shrill, giddy laughter.

"You are one insane son of a bitch, Tony Stark," he said. Then the giddiness faded and he was back to staring blankly at Tony.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Tony begged him. He couldn't take this.

"I'm thinking that you ran into the green room with out armor on, told the Hulk you loved him and then gave him a hug…"

Tony couldn't tell if Bruce had missed the confession for what it was, or was merely too stunned at the moment to call him out on it.

But that wasn't what was important. That wasn't why he'd shown Bruce the footage.

"And?" he prompted, a desperation in his voice. If Bruce didn't get it then he had risked a lot for nothing.

"And…and the Hulk was…nice."

There it was. Tony had to keep his cry of victory a silent one.

"So…do you…do you get my point now?" he asked.

"That the Hulk isn't all bad?" Bruce responded.

"Yes," Tony confirmed.

He was met with silence. Bruce just stared at him

"Tony…I can acknowledge that, based on the facts laid before me, that that is indeed correct and that you are right. However, it also turns everything I have believed about myself for the last several years completely on its head and pretty much _fucks_ with my mind, so excuse me if I'm a little slow at accepting this."

Tony was tempted to mention how just a few days before _his_ beliefs about himself had been turned on their head, and that he'd done a pretty good job accepting it, but he suspected that hating the Hulk had meant more to Bruce than being heterosexual had ever meant to him.

"Why did you…why did you tell him you loved him?" Bruce asked.

Ah. There it was.

This was the moment of truth. Specifically, did Tony tell the truth, or make an excuse? He was pretty sure Bruce would believe a lie easier than the reality. That made it completely up to Tony. But was this the right time? Would there ever be a right time? Or would Tony's feelings just be one more thing adding to the cluster fuck currently going on in poor Bruce's brain?

The words were on the tip of Tony's tongue, he ached to just say them. All it would take was six words, "because I'm in love with you" and it would be done.

And he could never take it back.

"Because, I…had a theory." Theories. Those were good. Very scientific. Not romantic at all. "I thought that maybe the reason the Hulk is so hateful is because he's always been hated, so I thought…"

"You thought you could cure the Hulk with love," Bruce finished for him, staring at Tony like he'd just suggested surgically replacing their feet with ducks.

"Well, yes." Tony said.

It hadn't been the right time.

"And it worked," Bruce said in amazement, crossing his arms thoughtfully.

Tony dove forward to catch the edge of Bruce's over taxed pants before they fell to the floor.

"Oh!" Bruce said in alarm. Then he blushed. "Thank you," he said, gripping his pants again.

"I should…go put on more clothes. A-and think," he stuttered, although he didn't know why. "I have a lot to think about."

"Right," Tony nodded as Bruce headed into the elevator.

"You coming?" he asked, holding the doors open.

The only reason Tony could imagine anything more torturous than getting into that elevator with Bruce was because he had experienced actual torture. There was no way he was subjecting himself to standing in a tiny room with the man who, unbeknownst to him, he'd just confessed his love to. Especially while that man was half naked. He wasn't that much of a masochist.

"No thanks, I'm going to take a look at the damage. See what I'll need to patch it up," Tony said, seamlessly making up the excuse on the spot. He would follow Bruce downstairs in a little bit.

"Okay," Bruce said, and let the elevator doors close.

Inside the elevator, Bruce leaned against the wall and let his amazement wash over him.

The things the Hulk had said…he'd told Tony he _loved_ him. Bruce blushed despite the fact that Tony had said it first. It was still a little embarrassing for some reason. It was like sobering up and being presented with the things you'd said while you were drunk.

But…the Hulk wasn't him. Or was he? He apparently wasn't the monster Bruce had always believed him to be. Bruce didn't feel that he could be certain of anything anymore. Because he was triggered by rage, he'd always assumed that the Hulk was incapable of anything but rage. But he was capable of affection, and holding a conversation, and giving someone a hug.

Bruce felt a stab of guilt. The Hulk had been like a child in Tony's company. And Bruce had been treating him like a monster all this time. He felt like…like an abusive parent.

_No._ Bruce cringed, awash with horror. He couldn't think that. He wouldn't think that. It was too painful. Too damn painful.

_I'm not my father,_ he told himself. He _wasn't._ He had never hurt the Hulk; how could he? It was others that did the hurting. Bruce had done every thing he could to take Hulk away from those that would hurt him. He'd done it for himself, of course, and to keep others safe, but now he wanted to think he'd done it for the Hulk too. He hadn't, but he could still take the credit. Anything to ease this gnawing guilt.

_I'm sorry,_ he wanted to tell the Hulk. _I didn't understand. I still don't understand. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try to help you, not destroy you. Can you hear me? Are you anywhere in there?_

Bruce couldn't sense any response from the Hulk. All he felt was that dull area inside him that always throbbed with aggression. Unless Tony was around.

Tony. None of this would have happened with out Tony. If Tony weren't the bravest mother fucker on the face of the planet. Really, Bruce didn't often swear, but there were no other words intense enough to sum up what Tony had done. If Bruce had been faced with the Hulk, looking so hideously consumed by murderous rage, there was no way on this earth he would have walked _towards_ him. But Tony had.

Because he'd had a theory.

_Tony, if you'd been wrong you would be dead,_ Bruce thought. Really, when was Tony Stark going to stop amazing him?

Bruce arrived back at the penthouse. Outside he could see that it was getting dark. That incredibly long day was finally coming to an end.

"I can't believe I've only been here three days…" Bruce mumbled out loud to himself. It felt like it'd been an eternity.

He saw his door hanging crooked in the frame and his twisted sheets and suddenly didn't want to go into his room at all. Comfortable bed or not, that was where he'd started changing into the Hulk. It was also where he'd had his panic attack. It was just a little too full of memories for him at the moment.

For the briefest second, he felt the impulse to go lay down in Tony's bed instead. He shook his head, wondering where that thought had come from. He made himself go into his room and get changed, and then headed back out into the penthouse to sit down on the sofa.

Where was he supposed to go from here? If he wasn't trying to get rid of the Hulk anymore, what was his goal? He'd been so adamant on a cure for so long, thinking of all the innocent people that were in danger if he didn't.

But the Hulk was apparently an innocent too. He couldn't help being big and angry at the same time, especially when people kept shooting at him.

_He does really like smashing things though,_ Bruce thought. He wasn't entirely innocent. The destruction he'd caused didn't disappear just because he happened to be nice when he was calm. _He also doesn't like me very much__,_ Bruce frowned. He understood where the big guy was coming from. He didn't like himself very much either.

So was he trying to co-exist with the Hulk now? Could he do that? Was he willing to share his life with what was basically a big irradiated parasite? If it meant a better life for both of them, Bruce couldn't exactly say no. There was really no predicting what could become of the Hulk once they started treating him like a person instead of a monster, but the results had certainly been good when Tony had tried it.

The elevator opened behind Bruce.

"Hey," Tony greeted him, apparently done upstairs. He came and sat on the other side of the sofa.

"I'll fix your door for you after dinner," he said casually, glancing at the damage.

And that, precisely, was the moment everything shifted.

Bruce suddenly felt like he had just met Tony Stark for the first time in his life. All at once, he was aware of every single little detail related to the man. The way his hips moved when he walked, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, the giddy way he bounced up and down when he was happy. The laugh lines that traced his handsome face. The calculated chaos of his hair. The songs he hummed while he worked. How good he always smelled. God, he loved the way he smelled. Why hadn't he known that?

Bruce's memories were full of these details, and he'd only just realized them now, all in one gigantic wave. Suddenly everything he'd been thinking about was gone, evaporated, and all he saw was Tony.

What was going on? What was this?

Tony picked up a magazine from the coffee table and started to flip through it, oblivious to Bruce's eyes now glued to him.

_He gave me a place to stay. He gave me friendship. He stayed with me while I panicked and he faced me while I raged._ He'd cooked for him and washed his dishes and catalogued his slides.

It could have been any combination of those things that finally lifted the veil from Bruce's eyes, but the moment Tony offered to fix his door, as casually as if taking a breath, Bruce's reaction was undeniable.

He felt the strongest rush of attraction towards Tony.

"Tony…" Bruce said, getting his attention. Tony looked up, saw the way Bruce was staring at him, and put his magazine down.

"What? Is something wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"No," Bruce answered simply. His mind had gone so quiet, so empty. It was like everything had drained out of him, except this one impulse, pulling him towards Tony like a magnet.

"Tony," he said again, despite the fact that Tony was already looking at him.

_You showed me how to make pancakes,_ Bruce thought, and then dove across the sofa, planting his lips on Tony's.

* * *

Let that sink in for a moment...

I hope that this played out to your satisfaction. It was a difficult thing to navigate. I tried to make his sudden revelation about Tony make sense. The way I see it is that two things happened to Bruce at once. 1) he realized Tony was absolutely incredible and 2) that he was wrong about the Hulk, and he only had the mental capacity to process one at a time. So after getting to think through the second thing a bit, he was utterly struck by the first one as soon as he saw Tony again. Also, it might seem a little OOC for him to make the first move like that, considering how practiced he is at controlling his emotions, but in my defense I say that he was taken completely off guard and that he's used to controlling negative emotions, not good ones. And I'll be honest, at this point I feel entitled to a smidgen of OOC. I don't think any of you wanted to read about **another** character struggling with repressed emotions for who knows how many chapters, so I made an executive decision to move things along for y'all.


	8. I'm Game If You Are

Tony returned the kiss with enthusiasm. He had no idea what was going on, but he really could not find it in himself to care. Bruce was pressed against him, his soft, warm lips melting into Tony's, and he'd be damned if he couldn't hear freaking _angels_ singing, because it was simply _that_ perfect. Their fingers were tangled in each other's hair as they rocked their lips together, gentle and intense all at the same time.

"Wait. Wait wait wait," Bruce pulled away. Tony had to stifle a whimper.

"Why are you kissing me back?" Bruce asked.

Tony gave him a confused look. "Huh?" he asked, feeling rather dazed.

"In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness, I seem to have kissed you," Bruce said, assessing the situation with more than a little shock in his voice. "But why are you kissing me back?"

"Because…because…wha-?" Tony was confused. Why had Bruce stopped kissing him? Why would anyone end something so perfect?

"Tony! Would you please answer me?" Bruce asked, worried. He wanted to know what was going on in Tony's head.

There was just no point in not saying it at this point.

"Because I'm in love with you," Tony said, diving back into Bruce's lips and cutting off his response. Bruce had to get his stunned reaction out in-between kisses.

"You-"

Smooch.

"Love-"

Smooch.

"Me?"

Much more than a smooch. Long, dazzling embrace of pure, Earth shattering _yes,_ was how Bruce would have described it.

In one swift move Tony had him on his back, and he looked up to see Tony poised, hovering above him. For a moment Bruce felt his old fear of intimacy creeping back to him, telling him that this was too much and that he should retreat.

Instead, he pressed his hand on the back of Tony's neck and pulled him down to kiss him again.

Tony hummed happily against his lips.

Then he was sitting back up again, away from Bruce. "Wait," Tony said, this time the one to interrupt. "Why _did_ you kiss me?" he asked. "What's going on?"

One part of him was too happy to question what was happening, and the other part was compelled to ask questions _because_ he was so happy. This was a perfect example of a "too good to be true" scenario.

"Because, uh…" Bruce honestly had no idea what to say. It had all happened so fast.

Tony reclined back into a normal sitting position, a small frown on his face.

"I think we might need to have a conversation," he said.

Bruce had to agree. Reluctantly, because he would have liked to have continued what they'd been doing, but he knew Tony was right.

He sat back up, suddenly very aware of the compromised position he'd been in. He blushed.

"So…" he said. _Where should we start?_ was the unvoiced question. He forced himself to meet Tony's eyes, despite the heat his gaze added to his cheeks.

"You kissed me," Tony said.

"Yes," Bruce agreed.

"I'm a man," Tony pointed out to him.

"I had noticed," Bruce told him.

Tony stared at him for a moment, looking skeptical.

"That doesn't bother you?" he asked.

"Did it seem like it bothered me?" Bruce answered.

Tony had not been prepared for this. He had observed a rather unflappable quality to Bruce Banner in the past, but…this casualness…he'd not seen coming.

"Bruce, have you…are you…?"

"I'm not partial," Bruce said, answering the question Tony hadn't actually asked.

Well if that wasn't a fucking revelation.

"No!" Tony exclaimed. "No! You've liked men this whole time?" he shouted.

Bruce shrugged.

_Don't shrug at me you bastard, I've been tearing my heart out over this!_

"Gender has never really seemed like a big deal to me. I've never actively pursued a man before, but…well, there were a couple times when I was younger…"

Tony's eyes went wide.

"Bruce Banner! Are you telling me that you've…you've _hooked up?!_"

"No!" Bruce said, looking startled. "No, nothing like that and- and why do you look so shocked? You're Tony Stark."

"I may be Tony Stark, but you're not!" Tony said, relieved to hear that Bruce didn't have some wild past he didn't know about. At least Bruce knew about _his_ wild past. Everybody did.

"I've only ever slept with women," Bruce told him. "And not many," he admitted. "I don't do well with intimacy…"

"Ya seemed to be doing just fine a minute ago, champ," Tony said.

"That was different…" Bruce said. "You're different."

Tony was happy to hear that. "How so?" he asked.

Bruce looked at him. "Well it would just be kinda stupid at this point for me not to trust you, considering all you've done for me."

Tony thought about that. He did seem to have done an awful lot for Bruce.

"And that's not all…" Bruce said, trailing off. "I've always felt…safe around you. Inexplicably. Like if you were around then everything was okay."

Tony was touched. He hadn't known that.

"Wait a minute, if you've been not-straight all along, and I gave you such warm fuzzies, then why the heck has it taken you so long to kiss me damn it?" Tony asked.

"It's only been _three days_," Bruce reminded him. "And it really just didn't occur to me. I'm not someone who goes seeking relationships." He gestured to himself. "Hulk, remember? Also, bad with intimacy."

Tony grappled to accept that. He couldn't imagine not realizing you were attracted to somebody with out sexual orientation-related blindness involved. Tony checked out every woman he met, and knew immediately what he wanted from them. He usually got it too. Basically, Tony was a slut. Bruce was clearly much more reserved.

"What about you?" Bruce asked. "How long have you…" he couldn't say the words. _Loved me?_ He still wasn't entirely convinced that Tony had really said that. Maybe he'd just heard what he'd wanted to hear.

Tony sighed. "Up until three days ago, I thought that I was straight. But Pepper took one look at the way I acted around you and informed me that that probably wasn't the case."

That explained a lot of the looks Pepper had given him.

"Pepper is one observant woman," Bruce commented.

"Yeah, and I am one dumb brick," said the world renowned super genius. "I've been attracted to men my whole life; never realized it. I've been pretty much head over heals crazy about you since the day we met; never figured it out."

A little thrill went through Bruce. _Really?_ Tony had liked him that long? And had liked him that much? The kindness and generosity Tony had shown him did make more sense in this new light, but still...it was a little hard for Bruce to wrap his head around. What could a man like Tony Stark possibly find interesting about him? What could he possibly have to offer the man? But judging by what had just happened, Tony was indeed very interested in him. It wasn't really something that was open to interpretation, or capable of being attributed to Bruce's imagination and ignored. Despite his disbelief and doubts, Bruce had to accept the fact that Tony really did want him.

_Things this good don't happen to me,_ Bruce thought. _It just did, though,_ he reminded himself. His lips still tingled with the memory of Tony's pressed against them.

"So…where do we go from here?" Bruce asked.

_We live happily ever freaking after,_ Tony thought. Bruce wanted him. What more could he possibly need?

"I don't know. Neither of us has ever been in a relationship with another man before…that could be problematic. And it would complicate our professional relationship. Maybe we should just stay friends." Tony didn't know why he was saying these things. He didn't agree with a word of it.

Bruce looked down thoughtfully at that. It _was_ important to consider all aspects of the situation, after all.

Bruce glanced up and met Tony's eyes. They held each other's gaze for a split second and then, at exactly the same time, lunged for each other, lips meeting, hands grabbing.

Bruce felt that he'd considered the situation adequately enough.

Tony agreed.

* * *

...

It's a short chapter, but there were man kisses, so hopefully you're pleased. Btw I've pretty much decided to make up Bruce's past at this point, sorry if it conflicts with anything from the Incredible Hulk.


	9. Are You With Me?

Their arms were wrapped around each other, Bruce in Tony's lap, when they finally broke apart for more than just air.

"I'm hungry," Bruce said.

"Me too. There are left over pancakes in the fridge," Tony said. Bruce grinned. He hadn't wanted Tony to be away from him long enough to actually cook anything. It was good to know they were on the same page.

They dashed away to the kitchen, not even realizing they were holding each other's hands.

Tony took the plate of plastic wrapped pancakes out of the fridge.

"I've never eaten cold pancakes before," he admitted.

"Me neither," Bruce said. "It'll be an experiment."

And so it was. They tried eating them with syrup.

"It's not the same," Tony said. Bruce agreed.

They tried microwaving them. Neither were willing to consume the result.

And then Bruce grabbed the butter. After he'd spread it on a pancake, he went to the fridge and rifled through it. He emerged with a jar of jelly. Tony watched, fascinated, as Bruce slathered the pancake with jelly and then rolled it into a tubular shape.

Bruce eyed it, and then took a bite.

"Try this," he said, handing it to Tony. He took a bite.

It was really good.

"This is more than just a cold pancake," Tony decided. "This is something new entirely."

"Pancrêpe," Bruce suggested.

Tony looked up at him, almost startled. Then he burst into the biggest smile.

"Pancrêpe!" he laughed. Tony's laugh sent a thrill through Bruce. What had Tony said earlier? Warm fuzzies? That was it. Tony gave Bruce the warm fuzzies.

"I knew you were a genius!" Tony said, smiling radiantly at Bruce. He gave the man a tender look and reached out to touch Bruce's hair. There was something about that simple action, that subtle broach of boundaries, that caught both of their attention. Suddenly everything seemed to get very quiet and very still as Bruce and Tony looked at each other, taking a moment to come back to Earth and process what had just happened between them.

"Tony…" Bruce said. Even saying the other man's name felt new and different. "I need you to understand what a big deal it is that I'm doing this. I don't do things like this. I don't rush into things. I don't take risks. I don't get involved with other people."

Tony understood. It was the fear in Bruce's eyes.

"Why are you doing it then?" Tony asked softly. He wanted to know. Why him? Why take that risk for him?

"It's…frightening…" Bruce said. "And outside of my depth, but…it feels right. Despite all that, it still feels right. You've always felt right in a way that nothing in my life ever has. It's not that I don't have doubts…there's a part of me that wants to pack my things and leave right now, but…I wouldn't do that to you. I'm not sure how exactly to be with somebody and make it work, but I'll try. If you'll be patient with me."

Tony rolled himself another pancrêpe and responded. "Of course I'll be patient with you. If you'll be patient with me. I am a pain in the ass you know, in case you'd forgotten."

Bruce smiled. "I will certainly be patient with you, but it might take a bit more than you think to do the same for me. I'm really not very good with relationships."

"You keep saying that," Tony said. "You think I'm any better? At least you've had a real relationship. The closest thing I've come to that is sleeping with the same woman more than once, and even that's rare. I don't know how to do this any better than you do. We're on the same clueless, inexperienced page. I don't even know what to call what we're doing. Dating? We've never been on a date. But we live together. Does that matter?" Tony asked, his unfamiliarity revealing itself.

Bruce looked at him. "I…I don't know," he said awkwardly, blushing. He didn't want to suggest anything that wasn't what Tony was looking for. It was too embarrassing.

Tony was looking at Bruce thoughtfully, then his eyes lit up and he smiled. Why did Tony's smiles always look a little bit wicked? Bruce wondered. Tony rocked back and forth on his stool, giddy and childlike, and then leaned forward, taking Bruce's hands in his.

"You wanna be my boyfriend?" he asked, his eyes sparkling up at Bruce.

Bruce blushed a deep scarlet.

"I…uh. Yes. Yes, I think I do."

Tony looked side ways at him. "You _think_?" he pouted.

"If you're looking for confidence then you should probably look elsewhere," Bruce told him honestly.

Tony wrinkled his nose. "No. No looking elsewhere. Just at you. At my _boyfriend_," he said, grinning at the new word.

"Honestly Tony," Bruce laughed with a sigh. "What could you possibly like about me so much?"

The answer that formed immediately in Tony's mind came as a bit of a shock.

"Besides everything? You've never gotten angry at me," he said, fully aware of the irony. "Everyone's always angry at me. Because I'm too reckless. Or tactless. Or for any number of my many character flaws: snarky, irresponsible, arrogant; take your pick. But you…every time I expect you to get mad you just laugh it off. Nothing I do phases you."

Bruce was touched, but he was frowning all the same. "You can't count on that Tony. I will get mad at you one day."

Tony looked down at his hands, still holding Bruce's. "I know," he said. "You can't help it. But really, everybody gets mad, why should anything different be expected from you?"

"Because I'm dangerous," Bruce said, the response coming automatically to him.

"Not to me," Tony reminded him. "I was right all along. The Hulk won't hurt me," Tony grinned. "He's my buddy."

Bruce had to chuckle softly at that. Tony looked so proud of himself.

"Hulk like Iron," Bruce joked.

Tony shot Bruce a startled look.

"What?" Bruce asked, tilting his head to the side. Tony's eyes were wide with surprise.

"Nothing, it's just…you sounded so much like him. Not your voice, really, but the way you said it…"

Bruce shrugged. "That's how he said it on the tape."

"Yeah, but…" Tony didn't know how to explain. It was the first time he'd ever felt the Hulk's presence while it was Bruce who was in front of him. Bruce looked at him with those brown eyes, and for a moment Tony saw green orbs instead.

"Well, it's not that much of a surprise that I sounded like him," Bruce said. "Considering that we're…I don't know what we are. The same? I've never thought so before, but… I guess it was a little naïve of me to think that he was some totally separate entity. The radiation mutated me. Me. That's what it was working with. So by reason the Hulk must be a mutated version of me…I guess I could just never accept that before. I wanted him to be something other. Something that existed outside of me. Wasn't me. But he is…isn't he?" Bruce asked, almost timidly. He felt a bit sick. This was a lot to come to terms with. "It's just that I never remember anything that he does," Bruce said, still unable to really wrap his head around it. "And I would never cause the destruction that he does…and when I change into him, it's like this ferocious battle between us. How could that just be me? Fighting me?" Bruce asked.

Tony looked at the man he cared so much for, looking so vulnerable. He squeezed Bruce's hand tighter and did his best to keep his voice gentle and his expression soft.

"Darling, I think you might have some psychological problems," he said.

Bruce blinked at him. And then he laughed hysterically.

Tony looked at him, startled by his reaction. Bruce laughed until he couldn't breathe.

"Why are you laughing…?" Tony asked.

"Oh my, ohhhh…sorry," Bruce said, wiping a tear from his eye. "It's just that the way you said that, like it was supposed to be some big revelation. Tony, I know I have psychological problems. I always have. I'm a crackpot," he admitted simply.

"Even…even before the Hulk?" Tony asked.

"Absolutely. I've been in and out of therapy my entire adult life."

"Did it help?" Tony asked, a little too surprised by that information to think of anything else to say.

Bruce's eyes grew dark. "No. I didn't like it. It made me angry."

"Were you an angry person, before the Hulk?" Tony asked, the idea suddenly occurring to him.

Bruce didn't want to answer that question, but he told the truth. "Yes," he said.

"And you let that anger out?" Tony continued.

"Yes," Bruce said, frowning. "But after the accident I was forced to get a grip on myself. Suddenly the consequences of my actions were a bit worse than crying lab assistants and mandatory anger management classes…"

"You made lab assistants cry?" Tony asked, stunned. His sweet gentle Bruce had been a meanie?

"Yes," Bruce admitted, his frown growing tighter.

"What did you do?" Tony asked, intrigued despite himself.

"I yelled at them," Bruce said. He glanced away. "Sometimes I threw things…"

"Bruce!" Tony gasped.

"Only once or twice!" Bruce defended himself. "And I didn't throw anything _at_ the lab assistants. It's not like I was some radically different person back then. For the most part I was just as reserved as I am now. I just got angry sometimes."

Bruce squeezed Tony's hand. "Still like me?" he asked. Tony found his uncertainty adorable. He smiled reassuringly at him.

"_Love_ you," he corrected, and gave Bruce a kiss. Bruce enjoyed the kiss, but when Tony pulled back he looked sad.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"I don't like talking about my past. I don't like talking about myself. I don't like thinking about who I used to be. I don't…" he looked away.

_You don't like yourself._ Tony had known that since the footage from the elevator. It broke his heart.

"Why did you transform?" Tony asked. "Today, I mean."

Bruce sighed. "It was the panic attack," he told him.

"I thought you said panic attacks don't trigger the Hulk," Tony questioned.

"They don't. Not on their own. But the anger at myself and embarrassment I felt afterwards did."

"Why would you be embarrassed?" Tony asked, puzzled.

Bruce looked away. "You saw me at my weakest. Saw my inability to handle the simplest of situations. I was trembling like a leaf. I couldn't even breathe correctly. How could I not be embarrassed by that?"

"That's not something you should be embarrassed by…" Tony said quietly. The way he said it made Bruce look up at him.

"Oh…" was all he said, when he realized what Tony was getting across.

"Yeah," Tony said.

"Recently?" Bruce asked.

Tony shook his head. "Not for a while. But it was bad. It helped to have a big metal suit to put on and blast things with though," Tony smiled.

"Now I feel even worse," Bruce sighed. "Here you are, someone who got held hostage in Afghanistan for Christ's sake, remaining strong, while I just keep throwing myself my own little pity parties and-"

Tony groaned. "Bruce! That was not the take away message at all! Why do you insist on being so down on yourself all the time?" Tony asked.

Bruce gritted his teeth. This conversation had gotten away from him, gotten him all worked up. His head was starting to hurt. He put his head in his hands and tugged at his hair, trying to get it to go away and clear his thoughts. Why did Tony have to ask so many questions? It was so annoying. Bruce wanted to smash something. Not Tony, but something Tony liked. Maybe the Iron Man suits. That was it, he'd go smash all of Tony's shiny toys. Only babies played with toys anyway. Real men should grow up.

"Bruce?" Tony said, his voice pulling Bruce back to reality.

"What?" he asked, a little breathless, trying not to snap at Tony.

"You were…you were growling," Tony said, not sure how else to put it. Bruce stared at him. "I was?" he asked, alarmed. Tony nodded.

"Oh…" That wasn't good. "I think that maybe I need to lie down. Clear my thoughts," Bruce said, getting up.

"Wait!" Tony grasped his hand and stood up with him.

"Uh…" he hadn't meant for that little outburst to happen. "So you're…going to bed now?" he asked.

"I think that's for the best," Bruce said.

Tony just stared at Bruce, holding back what he wanted to say.

"Going to bed in my room," Bruce supplied for him, reading the question in Tony's eyes.

Tony flushed and looked away.

"Yeah, I knew that, of course…it's just…" he looked at Bruce. "I'll miss you," he said, and then kissed him so that he wouldn't see the way he was growing increasingly flustered.

For a moment Bruce forgot about being angry. Just for a moment though.

"Good night," he said, pulling back. He gave Tony a little smile, just to tell him everything was alright. Tony had to fight himself to keep from reaching out for Bruce as he turned and walked away, but he let him go.

"See you in the morning," Bruce said, before he closed his door.

The morning. Bruce Banner was Tony's boyfriend and in the morning Bruce Banner would still be his boyfriend. How incredible was that? And if Tony didn't monumentally mess things up, then he would be his boyfriend the day after that and every day that followed.

_I want a billion mornings of waking up to Bruce Banner being mine,_ Tony thought. He wanted to wake up to Bruce in bed next to him too, but he knew he had to wait for that.

_Three days ago I thought that this would never happen in a million years,_ Tony remembered suddenly. But it had. It _had!_

The last thing Bruce processed before he drifted off into a meditative state was something that sounded very much like a victory cry coming from the other room.

* * *

YEE HA!


	10. I'm Learning

Bruce emerged from sleep the next morning with one thought already in his head.

_I made out with Tony last night._

He blinked up at the ceiling.

_I agreed to be Tony's boyfriend._

Bruce was instantly filled with the most overwhelming sense of dread. He'd made a horrible mistake. What had he been thinking? There was no way that this could possibly work out.

His encounters with men in the past had been so brief and inconsequential, and that's what he'd liked about them. Men usually expected less from Bruce than women did. As a generalization, they were more willing to flirt casually, with out expecting a commitment. In some ways he felt more comfortable with men, but he'd always ended up dating women, because there was more pressure from them to do so. If he'd had his way, he probably wouldn't have ever actually dated anyone. Except for Betty…

How could he become involved with Tony after things had gone so badly in his last relationship? There wasn't a single person Bruce had dated that he'd managed to make happy, and he didn't want to add Tony to that list. He wanted desperately for Tony to be happy. That was the core of his predicament, really; agreeing to a relationship with him had made Tony very happy, but Bruce didn't believe that he could continue to please him in the long run. There would come a time when Tony would want something from him that he could not give, and then everything would fall apart.

Bruce could only imagine how angry that would make him.

The doomed path he had set himself on seemed clear before Bruce's eyes, and yet…when he considered the alternative…

Giving up what he couldn't help but think of as a chance at happiness with Tony, just because he felt afraid and incapable, well, that would be infuriating.

There was nothing that Bruce could have done to prevent them from developing feelings for each other, and once they had, he'd been placed in what was essentially a no win situation. Either disappoint Tony now or disappoint him later.

At least this way Tony would be able to help him with the Hulk in the mean time. His feelings for the man aside, he was the one person who had ever managed to calm down the Hulk, and Bruce needed him for that.

In that case, perhaps Bruce really had made the right choice. The responsible one, at least. That helped a bit with his guilt, but not much with his fear.

How could he do this? He was going to mess everything up.

There was a soft knock at his door.

"Bruce, are you awake?"

The dread inside him did not lessen, it was merely flooded with emotions such as excitement and anticipation, filling his emotional capacity passed the brim. Despite all his panic and reservations, he still wanted badly to see Tony. The desire squirmed inside him.

"Yes," he told the other side of the door. It opened immediately to reveal a smiling, albeit nervous looking Tony.

"Hi," he said. Bruce pushed up the light switch by his bed and put on his glasses.

"Hi," he said back.

There was a moment of silence between them.

"Let's not do this, okay?" Tony said. "Let's not be the awkward people."

"I'm in a relationship now. Get ready to meet awkward Bruce," Bruce told him.

Tony smiled, at Bruce using the word "relationship," at his stoic-as-ever honesty, and at his mussed up morning hair. Feeling emboldened, he walked into the room and sat beside Bruce on his bed.

"Hi," he said again, a flirtatious edge in his voice this time.

"You said that already," Bruce pointed out to him.

"This was me reintroducing confident Tony," he explained.

"Well I'm still awkward Bruce," Bruce said in a decided manner.

"Confident Tony likes awkward Bruce," Tony grinned, cupping Bruce's face and giving him a morning kiss. Bruce kissed him back before pulling away.

"I haven't brushed my teeth yet," he said. "And your syntax sounds almost as bad as the Hulk's when you speak in third person like that."

"I like the way the Hulk talks," Tony told him. "And I like the way you taste," he said, kissing Bruce again. He roamed his tongue around Bruce's mouth to prove his point.

"Mmm, this is so weird…" Bruce mumbled. Tony pulled back abruptly, looking alarmed.

"What? Am I doing something wrong?" he asked, sounding significantly less confident.

"Huh? Oh, no! No I didn't mean that," Bruce assured him. "I meant that it's weird how calm I feel right now. I don't feel nervous at all. Usually I would."

Tony still didn't entirely understand what Bruce meant when he talked like that. But as long as he himself was immune to the issues Bruce apparently had, he was content to figure it out in due time.

"This is weird for me too," Tony told him. "Weird how not weird it is to feel your stubble on my face and your broad, flat chest against me. It definitely feels different on the outside, and yet inside I feel exactly the same as I would if I were with a woman. By which I mean turned on."

Bruce just smiled at him. Tony's tentative exploration of his new orientation seemed oddly cute to Bruce. When Bruce had realized his own interest in men, so many years ago, he'd faced it with little more than a shrug.

As if picking up on his thoughts, Tony laid down beside Bruce and asked "What's the most you've done with a man?" Or perhaps it was a logical continuation of Tony's own thought process.

"Nothing more than what we've done," Bruce told him.

"Why didn't you ever take it farther?" Tony asked.

"Gay bars tend to be a rather loose environment, but even they frown on their patrons having sex on the premises," Bruce said with a smirk.

Tony gave him a surprised look. "You went to gay bars?" he asked.

He looked so curious that Bruce figured he'd just give him the full story.

"It was my freshman year of college," he began. "I'd joined a study group for my Physics 201 class, and for the most part I got along with them. There was this one guy though… I don't know if he didn't like me because I was shy and distant or because I got better grades than he did. Either way, one day his barbed comments turned into pretty blatant harassment. Everyone was fairly surprised though when instead of letting it slide like I usually did, or telling him off like most people would have, I just decked him in the face."

"You did?" Tony asked. For some reason he had an even harder time picturing that than he did imagining Bruce terrorizing lab assistants.

The regretful look on Bruce's face was all the confirmation Tony needed. "I got put on academic probation," he said.

"What does that have to do with you going to gay bars, though?" Tony asked, intrigued by the story but still confused.

"After that, every one at the university suddenly seemed to know who I was," Bruce said, continuing his story. "I went to a pretty high brow school. Fighting wasn't common place in the least, so my little meltdown caused a bit of a stir. There were countless increasingly wild versions of what had happened, as well as rumors about my past and character in general. One night, I just wanted to get away from it all. I wanted to go somewhere where no one knew my name or recognized my face, so I just got in my beat up car and drove until I found the first place where I could be alone in a crowd."

"And it was a gay bar," Tony said, piecing it together.

Bruce nodded. "This brightly lit place along the highway. I figured, why not? All I was looking for was anonymity anyway, a gay bar would serve as well as the next place. I curled up with a drink in some secluded spot and entertained myself watching people dancing. There were a lot of attractive men there that night…" Bruce trailed off for a moment at the memory.

"By the time someone came up and asked me to dance, I'd actually started to want to. I was feeling unusually reckless that night, emboldened by my lack of an identity. I could be whoever I wanted to be there, so why not be someone who danced with other men? Or someone who danced at all for that matter… When I found myself off in some dark corner with another guy, it started to occur to me that even with an identity, even as Bruce Banner, I might have been the sort of person who danced with other men.

"I went back there a few times, but when people started to recognize me I found other places to go. I tried straight bars outside of town as well, but there the men were expected to be the ones who made the first move, and I still couldn't bring myself to be that person. So I eased my troubles with men who might not even ask for my name, weren't likely to be offended when I gave a fake one, and casually moved on to someone else when I declined giving them my number, or sometimes even going home with them."

"Really? Casually? You never got any drinks thrown in your face?" Tony asked.

"Well...some of them might have been a bit annoyed," Bruce admitted. "But I think most of them just figured I was unwilling to go any farther because I was in the closet."

Tony thought on that, processing Bruce's tale.

"That doesn't really answer my question though," he said.

"Hm?" Bruce said, he'd forgotten what Tony's question had been.

"Why didn't you ever take it farther? You just said you got offers to go home with them. Why didn't you?" Tony asked.

"For one thing," Bruce said to his new slutty boyfriend, "I'm not the sort of person who has sex with strangers. I may be the sort of person who makes out with them anonymously, but that's it. Secondly, the arrangement that I had kept my enjoyment-to-fear ratio at a nice manageable level. Sex would have toppled that."

Perhaps now was the time to really figure out what Bruce was talking about.

"When you talk about not being good with intimacy…?" Tony began, not sure quite how to phrase the question.

"Physically, I like being touched," Bruce said. "Mentally, it's upsetting. I couldn't tell you why, or begin to explain the ins and outs of how it works, all I know is that it wasn't quite as bad with those men, when they didn't even know my name and didn't want anything from me but a physical encounter."

"You don't like people getting close to you," Tony concluded. "_Actually_ close to you."

"Yeah… I suppose that's it," Bruce said, staring up at his ceiling. "That's why it's so weird that I can let you get close to me and it doesn't…doesn't bother me. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely freaking out, but because of reasonable concerns, not because you keep touching me."

"Freaking out?" Tony asked, not liking the sound of that very much.

"Well sure," Bruce said, turning to look at Tony. "Surely you didn't expect anything less?" he asked.

"Well, no," Tony admitted. "But I _would_ obviously prefer you to be filled with bliss and contentment instead."

Bruce chuckled. "Yeah, good luck with that one."

"What?" Tony pouted. "You think I can't do it?"

"Bliss and contentment? Not my forte. You might be able to get me up to moderately un-miserable, though."

"'Un-miserable' isn't a word, Mr. 'Judges-my-syntax' and don't you dare doubt me. I'm Tony Stark and I get what I want. I want you happy, therefore prepare to be perfectly giddy," he said, his voice firm as concrete.

"Wow. You really don't like being challenged, do you?" Bruce said, his eyebrows raised.

"Are you kidding me?" Tony asked, a wicked grin on his face. He sat up swiftly and straddled Bruce, the blankets still between them. "I _love_ being challenged," he said, giving Bruce a devilish look. Bruce hardly had time to process the fact that Tony was now on top of him when he stood up.

"What's for breakfast?" Tony asked him, despite the fact that he would be the one making it.

"Anything but pancakes," Bruce laughed. "If I eat any more I'll turn into one."

"Yummy," Tony winked at him and walked out of the room.

For a moment Bruce just lay in bed, basking in the pleasantness of that encounter, enjoying the tingles and the rapid beating of his heart that Tony had left him with.

_Could this be considered perfectly giddy?_ Bruce wondered. _I'll probably mess it all up eventually,_ _but I'm going to enjoy every second until then. I may turn into what is possibly the strongest being to originate on planet Earth, but even I'm not strong enough to resist the charm of Tony Stark._

It was with that concession to his anxiety and concerns that he got out of bed and got dressed, starting the day. He walked out into the penthouse and joined Tony in the kitchen.

"I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do today," Bruce said while Tony cooked. "The plan I had for tackling my condition pretty much became obsolete yesterday."

"I was thinking about that," Tony said, as he added something to the frying pan. "When you told me about your failed therapy sessions, I was wondering…what would you say to having Hulk sessions instead?"

Bruce gave Tony a puzzled look. He didn't see it though, because he was facing the stove.

"I don't even know what you mean by that Tony, so of course I don't know what I think."

"I was thinking that once a day we could go up to the green room and I'd hang out with the Hulk," Tony explained.

"You'd do that?" Bruce asked. It was basically what he'd been picturing since he'd started to think about accepting the Hulk. Only he'd thought of it more of Tony "studying" the Hulk, not so much "hanging out" with him.

"Of course. The Hulk and I love each other, remember?" Tony laughed.

Because Tony still wasn't facing Bruce, he missed the expression that came over the physicist's face when he said that. In all of the chaos and confusion, Bruce had totally looked past the fact that Tony had told him he _loved_ him and Bruce had yet to say it back. Their relationship was less than a day old and they'd already stumbled into that unpleasant imbalance? Bruce might have been bad at this but even he knew that that wasn't good. On top of that, the positively acrid irony that so far the _Hulk_ was doing better in their relationship with Tony was not lost on Bruce.

_Did I just think "our relationship with Tony" in terms of the Hulk?_ Bruce asked himself, scrunching up his face at that bizarre thought. Tony and the Hulk had certainly bonded, that much was undeniable. Bruce and the Hulk were a package deal. You couldn't really be involved with one with out at least having to deal with the other. Did that mean that there was something borderline polyamorous about their arrangement?

Bruce opened his mouth to ask Tony about that, but it was simply too weird to voice. But then he blurted it out anyway.

"Are you attracted to the Hulk?" Oh why, oh why, oh why had he said that?

Tony dropped his spatula into the food and turned to face Bruce. His eyes were wide with surprise while Bruce's were wide with embarrassment.

"Um…what?" he asked blankly.

"NevermindforgetIsaidit," Bruce said, his cheeks reddening.

"Did you just ask…?

"No!" Bruce denied loudly.

"You did, you said-"

"No I didn't!"

"Bruce, that is such a weird question, I don't even-"

"I know!" Bruce cried, lowering his head to the bar to hide his face, burying his fingers in his hair.

Tony turned the burner off on the stove. The food was basically done anyway. He walked over and sat down on the other side of the bar from Bruce.

"Darling? Oh, I like calling you that…ahem, Bruce? You don't have to be so embarrassed, Darling."

Bruce peaked up at him reluctantly. "Promise?" he asked.

"Yes, I promise. And to answer your question, no, I am not sexually attracted to a green man three to five times my size with the IQ of linguistically challenged child. That being said, I do firmly believe that he is a part of who you are and therefore he is included in the love that I bare you. That clear things up?"

"Yes," Bruce said, his voice muffled. He was still hiding his face.

"Good," Tony said, getting up. He dished up their food and brought it over to Bruce. "Now sit up and eat," he ordered him lovingly.

Bruce sat up hesitantly. His face was still bright red, his embarrassment expressing itself in the tautness of his brow and an ever so slight pout to his lip. His shoulders were hunched and he looked waveringly up at Tony, clearly wishing he could just disappear. As cute as Bruce's embarrassment was, Tony decided, it would not do.

With out the slightest hint of hesitation, Tony leaned over with one hand on the bar and gripped Bruce tightly by the collar, pulling him in for a positively obscene kiss that caught the other man completely by surprise. Bruce resisted and squirmed, but Tony held him in place while he invaded Bruce's mouth, exploring it unapologetically. Tony was doing things with his tongue that Bruce hadn't thought possible, making Bruce elicit noises that were far from appropriate and entirely against his will. When Tony finally released him, he sat back on his stool and looked nonchalant while Bruce looked ravaged.

"Wh-what was that?" Bruce gasped in shock, breathless and beyond flustered.

Tony shrugged. "I felt like changing the mood."

"Was that supposed to make me feel less embarrassed?!" Bruce demanded, heat radiating off his cheeks, which were so red they were threatening to turn purple

"Did it work?" Tony asked, still not the least bit remorseful. He'd quite enjoyed himself.

"No!" Bruce shouted, standing abruptly.

"Are you mad at me?" Tony asked, sounding timid, if only as a means to placate Bruce.

"Ye-!" Bruce stopped mid-word. He glared down at Tony. His eyes were tinged just the slightest green, Tony noticed with curiosity. Bruce took a calming breath. "No…no, I'm not mad. I'm just feeling a little…surprised…and, and violated, and-!"

Tony smiled. "You liked it didn't you?" The red that had started to disappear returned to Bruce's cheeks. "You _sounded_ like you liked it," Tony said deviously, wagging his eyebrows at Bruce.

Bruce turned away from him, crossing his arms tightly. "Tony…stop it. _Really_. You're embarrassing me, and that's the worst thing you can do," Bruce said, his voice dark and serious. He was trying not to get angry, he really was, but the excitement he felt for Tony seemed to weaken his resolve in other areas as well. Tony suddenly seemed to have an all-access pass to Bruce's insecurities.

"It's okay if you are mad," Tony piped up. "We can just have our Hulk session now, breakfast can wait. I-" Tony was interrupted when Bruce whipped around and slammed his fists against the bar.

"I don't want to be angry, Tony! I don't _like_ turning into the Hulk! And it's worst when someone makes me do it against my will, so just stop it!" Bruce's voice was laced with a roar, his eyes were no longer brown at all, and the blush across his cheeks now tinted green instead of red.

Tony stared up at him, all cockiness drained from his expression.

"I'm-m sorry," he stuttered, really meaning it this time. He'd never meant to truly upset Bruce. He felt _awful._

And so did Bruce. The hurt look on Tony's face immediately took Bruce's rage away, replacing it only with a pain in his heart.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sitting back down. "I told you I'd get mad at you one day…I just didn't think it'd be this soon."

"I-it was my fault." Why couldn't Tony stop stuttering? It sounded like he was scared and he _wasn't_ damn it! At least, not afraid of the Hulk, but of what Bruce would say next.

"Tony, maybe this was a bad idea-"

"No!" Tony said, unwilling to let Bruce say those words. He vaulted over the bar so that he could sit beside Bruce.

"No, don't say that," he said when he landed beside the man, grabbing Bruce's hand. "You said you'd be patient with me, you _said._ I made a mistake, I'm still learning! Nothing got broken, no one was hurt, and I'll do better, I _promise_, so don't you dare give up on us so easily!"

Bruce couldn't believe the panic and desperation in Tony's voice. Did Bruce really mean that much to him?

"I…you're right. I'm sorry, you're right. I _did_ say I'd be patient. And I want to be. But it really wasn't your fault, Tony, it was mine, and it's hard for me to look past that. I want you to be able to be your irritating, annoying, beautiful perfect self with out me flipping out on you, and I'm just not capable of that all the time."

"Bruce, I'm Iron Man," Tony said. "I'm not going to burst into tears like one of your old lab assistants just because you yell at me. If you leave me though, I just might."

Were those really Tony's priorities? Did he really mean that? Bruce could hardly believe his ears.

"Bruce, I'm not sure if you missed the part where I said I was in love with you, but I really did mean _all_ of you. I get that you don't like to be angry and I'll do everything I can to never make you feel that way again, but please understand that I love you when you're angry just as desperately as I do every other second of every day! You don't scare me, you really really don't. The _only_ thing I'm afraid of is losing you."

He meant it. It was too beautiful to be true, but it was anyway. Were there tears brimming in Bruce's eyes? He'd be shocked if there weren't.

"But… I don't want you to have to so careful around me. I _like_ that you tease me. Really, you're at your best when you've got that mischievous gleam in your eye. But some things bother me while others don't, and I don't know how to navigate that…"

Tony was calming down now that Bruce had stopped talking like he was going to end things. He thought about what Bruce had said, and what occurred to him was so simple that it almost made him laugh.

"What if we used a safe word?" It also made him want to laugh because it sounded kinky and he liked that.

Bruce looked up at him, a bit startled by the simplicity of it as well. "A safe word? So that you know when I'm playing along and when I'm really pissed? That's…that's perfect. As long as we both respect it."

"Absolutely," Tony promised. "If I hear the safe word I will desist with all pranksterish notions and grovel at your feet until the rage has passed. _But_ you have to promise to _never _use it just to get me to shut up. It _has_ to be if you're going green and for nothing else."

Bruce smiled. Problem solving with Tony felt good. He liked it. It made him feel like they were really together, like they were really doing this.

"I promise not to abuse my great power of being able to make Tony Stark stop being an ass. We can't tell anyone about it though, the military will want to harness it for their own use," Bruce grinned.

Tony grinned back at him. "So what'll it be?" he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"The safe word."

"Oh…" Bruce hadn't thought about that. "How about…gamma?" It was the first word that came to mind.

Tony nodded. "Sounds good. I'll assume you're not sending me any hints if you're talking about it in the context of radiation or Greek numerology though."

"Yeah, I'll make myself pretty clear. I could also get one of those water bottles and squirt you with it when you're naughty," Bruce grinned at him.

"Hey, now! That's crossing a line!"

Bruce smiled up at him, and for the longest time Tony just smiled back, letting their food get cold.

"You did like that kiss though didn't you?" Tony said, not able to resist.

Bruce's flush returned, but it was pink with out any trace of green.

"If you can call it a kiss. It was more like an attack."

"But you liked it?" Tony urged cheekily.

Bruce scowled at him. "I would have liked it more with a little warning!"

"Aaand…?"

"And for Christ's sake, _yes,_ alright? Totally blew my mind."

Tony jumped and cheered, his fists in the air.

"What were you even doing with your tongue, I don't even-"

Tony opened his mouth and showed Bruce.

"Oh my God…that's just…that's just indecent," Bruce said, his eyes wide. Tony laughed merrily to himself.

"Come on," he said. "Breakfast is getting cold.

* * *

I'd just like to say that Bruce's experiences with women, gay men, and gay bars, are not meant to account for all women, gay men, or gay bars. I know full well that the world is a varied and diversified place. That being said, if you feel like I've grossly misrepresented women, gay men, or gay bars, just consider the fact that there are a lot of them out there, and that among all of them, there are probably the sort that Bruce encountered and experienced.

Also very important, I would like to ask you readers a question. Would you prefer to keep this story strictly Bruce and Tony with the occasional dash of Pepper, or would you like me to include the other Avengers as well? I have an idea for introducing them into the setting, but I'd pretty much have to use that idea during the next chapter if I'm going to do it. I don't think that it would suddenly become a big group story, but it might add some more twists and turns for Bruce and Tony that could be interesting. But it also has the potential to distract from the working dynamic I've got going on with them if I'm not careful...so I wanted to know what your priorities are as the readers. I don't want to let any of you down. So what do you guys think? Avengers assemble?


	11. As Long As You're Here

So I decided that if I do introduce the other Avengers, it will be later in the story after Bruce and Tony have had some more alone time. Thank you guys for your input.

* * *

"This is weird."

"What's so weird?"

Tony and Bruce stood in the green room, Bruce in the middle of the room and Tony standing back, giving him ample space.

"It's weird to be doing this on purpose," Bruce told him.

"You did it for the battle," Tony reminded him

"That was different," Bruce said. It was odd to be talking to Tony from this distance, but he'd insisted. He'd also made Tony bring an Iron pack into the room and slid the bracelet onto Tony's arm himself. Tony had resisted, positive that the Hulk would never hurt him. Bruce had told him that it was better to be safe than stupid. Tony had told him that conflicted with his entire life philosophy.

"Why was it different?" Tony asked him now.

"Because there was danger," Bruce told him. "There was a pressing need to transform. This time… I spend so much time trying to not have this happen, so to choose it…feels wrong."

On their way up Bruce had seen that his decimated shoes and the torn shreds of his shirt had been left where they'd fallen.

"I should clean that up…"

Tony had told him not to worry about it.

He didn't want it to happen again though, so Bruce crouched down and untied his shoes, then tucked his socks into them. He glanced at Tony and then tossed them at him. He caught them without batting an eye. Bruce stood up and inspected himself.

"I'm going to ruin these pants…" he said.

"You could take them off," Tony suggested, trying and failing in his attempt to sound uninterested. Bruce didn't think that he'd tried that hard though.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Bruce said.

Tony smirked. "You caught me."

"If I'm naked, he'll be naked. Do you really want to be in a room with that?"

"No," Tony admitted. "I stand by what I said earlier about not finding gigantic green men particularly arousing. Although…" Tony suddenly got an odd twinkle in his eye.

"What?" Bruce said, deeply suspicious.

"I'm just wondering if _everything_ gets bigge-"

"Tony!" Bruce yelled, cutting him off.

"Oh my God, I love what a prude you are," Tony grinned.

"Prude? I'm not a prude, I'm-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, you were King Cock Tease of the gay bar scene in the 90's, big whoop, you still turn redder than Natasha's hair when ever I imply _anything._"

Bruce gaped at him.

"King- king _what?_" he spluttered.

"See? Even now. '_Cock tease._' Say it," Tony ordered.

"No," Bruce said, steadfastly refusing. He started to unbutton his shirt.

Tony's eyes widened. "Is…is this how you end an argument? That isn't fair."

"Tony, I'm taking it off so that it doesn't get _destroyed._ Grow up."

Tony looked aghast. "Never!"

Bruce tsked at him, trying to sound reproachful despite the smile quirking at his lips.

Once he slid his shirt off and felt Tony's eyes on him though, his amusement was drowned out by self-consciousness.

"Stop looking at me," he said, shifting uncomfortably.

"Seen it before," Tony replied, in the zoned out voice of someone who was both focusing very hard and not at all.

"You were still trying to contain yourself then, I wasn't subjected to the full Tony Stark 'appraising gaze.'"

"If you don't like it, shut up and go green already," Tony said, not liking that Bruce was trying to talk him out of enjoying himself.

"Maybe I will, and give you a bop on the head."

"Have fun with your brain damaged boyfriend then," Tony said.

Bruce grinned at him. "I thought I already had?" he said innocently.

"Mean," Tony said approvingly.

"Stop it," Bruce said, smiling.

"Darling, if you're going to show the goods then I'm going to look-"

"No, not that," Bruce said. "Stop making me so happy. I need to get angry."

Tony's heart seemed to burst into a melted goo of pure joy.

"I thought you were always angry?" he said instead of _ohmygodIfrikkenloveyou._

Bruce looked thoughtful. "Less and less recently…" He shrugged and sighed. "It doesn't take much though. You ready?"

"Born."

"Okay then, see you when I get back," Bruce said, and closed his eyes.

At first Bruce's features were perfectly relaxed. His breathing was calm and steady. Tony could see the thoughts going on in Bruce's head, but he didn't have the slightest clue what they were. Whatever they were, they were taking Bruce to that place where he wasn't supposed to go.

It started with a frown. Just the slightest frown. And then his fists clenched at his sides. The frown deepened into a scowl. His jaw tightened, making the tendons on his neck stand out.

The wheeze was the worst part. This barely there rattle of anguish that started in Bruce's chest and escaped out his throat. It sounded half sob, half scream, but all at a barely audible whisper. Slowly, almost as if wilting, Bruce doubled over. He fell to his knees, his hands digging into his scalp, pulling at his hair.

_No, leave the hair alone,_ Tony thought, somewhere far away in the one part of his brain that wasn't completely absorbed by what he was seeing.

Bruce rocked back and forth as green bled across his body like spilled ink. His muscles bulged and grew before Tony's eyes. Bruce's neck snapped up suddenly, and Tony met his wide, emerald green eyes. Tony held the gaze, listening to Bruce's ragged breathing, rough and jagged with anger.

_Who is he right now?_ Tony wondered. _Am I Tony or Iron to him at the moment? Does he even know the difference?_

Bruce threw his head back, letting out a ferocious howl of rage.

_Still sounds like him,_ Tony thought. _Their voices aren't the same and that sounds like Bruce._ Did it matter though? Or was it simply that the Hulk was there and his vocal cords were yet to follow? It made Tony shiver all the same.

_This isn't right,_ Tony suddenly realized. At the battle Bruce had shifted much easier than this. Why was he fighting it?

That was the only explanation. Even now Bruce was thrashing around on the floor, his green body refusing to grow to Hulk proportions.

"Don't fight it!" Tony pleaded when Bruce started screaming. He couldn't bare to watch Bruce do this to himself.

Bruce didn't seem to hear him. He kept screaming and screaming and screaming.

Tony couldn't remember why he was doing this, why either of them had agreed to this. This was awful. He was scared again, but this time he was scared for Bruce.

"Just be him, damn it!" Tony yelled, too upset to keep it bottled inside. "It's not that big of a frikking deal! Just do it! Be him!"

And to his immense relief, Bruce finally started growing again. It was so rapid that it reminded Tony of a balloon being inflated. The Hulk was face down on the floor, his fingers tangled in his hair when he arrived.

He let out a deafening roar, followed by several feral, panting grunts. He looked around the room wildly, a fervor in his eyes. He flung himself back into a corner, an oddly defensive act for someone usually so decidedly offensive. He sat there, pressing his palms into either wall like he was trying to pry the room apart. He grunted and strained but obviously it didn't work.

"Hi Hulk," Tony said, remembering his voice.

"Iron quiet! Hulk busy!"

_Ouch._

"What're you busy with?" Tony asked, never one to be quiet when he was told.

"Hulk get out! Iron no open puny doors, so Hulk make door!"

"Hey buddy, I thought you liked hanging out with me. I wanted to talk with you again."

The Hulk looked at Tony suspiciously. He did that a lot.

"Iron want talk?"

"Yeah, Iron loves to talk." Tony could almost hear Pepper snorting derisively in his ear. _Ain't that the truth,_ she'd have said.

The Hulk sat down and the room shook. "Hulk no talk much," the Hulk said, sounding almost apologetic about it.

"That's okay, you can start with me," Tony smiled, sitting down on the floor as well, mirroring the Hulk's position.

"Iron nice man," the Hulk said for the second time. Those three words were honestly the sweetest thing Tony had ever heard said about him. He wondered how often he could get the Hulk to say it.

"You're really nice too, Hulk," Tony said.

The Hulk looked rather startled by that. "Hulk no nice! Hulk angry!"

"You can be both," Tony said. The Hulk looked all the more confused. "What are you angry at?" Tony asked him.

The Hulk looked around the green room. "Big trap," he said.

"You mean the quiet room? You shouldn't be angry at it. It's where we have our nice talks."

The Hulk's brow furrowed, considering that.

"Hulk angry bad people shoot Hulk."

"I would be angry about that too, but the bad people aren't here. They can't make you feel bad. You're safe."

"Safe…" the Hulk tested the word out with a rumble. For a moment he almost looked calm, but then he scowled, like he'd just remembered something.

"Hulk angry at Puny!" the Hulk said. Tony blinked at that.

"Puny? Who do you…do you mean Bruce?"

"Puny!" the Hulk corrected fiercely.

Tony was reluctant to refer to Bruce with such an unflattering term, but…well, _the Hulk_ was insisting, and when the Hulk insisted…

"Why are you angry at…Puny?" Tony asked. He had to smother a laugh at the Hulk's response.

"Ugh! So puny!" he grunted scornfully, as if Bruce had worn white after labor day.

"But that's not his fault, he can't help being puny. When I don't have my Iron Suit on, I'm pretty puny," Tony pointed out. The Hulk narrowed his eyes and stared down at Tony.

"Puny punier," was all he said.

Tony figured they'd come up against a wall for this particular line of questioning, so he decided to switch to more informative questions.

"What's your earliest memory, Hulk?" Tony asked. That had been one of the questions Bruce had wanted him to ask. The Hulk apparently had a good enough memory to have remembered Tony, but he still thought that it might be limited along with the rest of the Hulk's intelligence.

The Hulk's answer surprised him.

"Twinklies," he said.

"Twinklies?" Tony asked, completely confused. Did Gamma radiation twinkle?

The Hulk seemed to sense Tony's confusion as he tried to elaborate. "Twinklies. Sparklies?…Shinies?…on tree," he said finally, before seeming to give up. Comprehension dawned across Tony's face.

"Christmas? Are you talking about Christmas?" Tony asked, amazed. Tony had either been expecting a description of the Gamma blast or some hazy recollection of one of his many rampages. Not this. This was totally unexpected.

The Hulk grunted and nodded. "Bad memory," he said. "Hulk no like think about. Make Hulk angry. Make Hulk sad."

The Hulk had never talked about being sad before.

He'd gotten what he'd come for, one significant piece of new information about the Hulk. It was time to head back.

"Hey," Tony said. "Can I show you a game?" The Hulk cocked his head to the side, looking curious.

"Game?" he asked, the word new on his tongue.

"Yeah, it's something you do to have fun."

"Smashing fun," the Hulk grinned.

"Well smashing isn't a part of this game, you have to be very gentle or you might hurt me."

The Hulk looked aghast. "Hulk no hurt Iron! Hulk love Iron!"

"Good, then let's play," Tony said, getting up and walking to stand right in front of the Hulk.

And that was how the Hulk learned to play patty-cake.

"Patty cake patty cake, baker MAN!" the Hulk said excitedly, tapping his gigantic palms against Tony's entire hands.

"Bake me a cake as nice as you can!" Tony said. He'd replaced the word "fast" with "nice" because he didn't want the Hulk to get carried away and smash him into a wall.

"Knead it, and _smash_ it!" The Hulk had added that word himself.

"And mark it with a B!"

"Roll it up! Roll it up!" Since they couldn't go increasingly faster, they were just getting louder and louder instead.

"And throw it in a pan!" Tony and the Hulk cried together, his deep rumbly voice tearing through the air like always.

The Hulk threw his massive hands in the air. "Pat-a-cake!" he cheered happily.

Tony threw his hands up in the air too. "Yay!"

The Hulk collapsed backwards to lay on the floor, holding his sides and giggling wildly.

The sound of the Hulk laughing was the most incredible music Tony imagined he'd ever hear in his life.

The Hulk started to shrink so fast that at first Tony thought his eyes were messing with him. The Hulk continued to laugh while he shrunk, his giggles growing less booming as his size reduced and the green faded from his skin. In less than a minute Tony was staring instead at a barely clothed Bruce Banner, laughing on the floor hysterically.

Tony made a point to commit the image of Bruce's ecstatic face to permanent memory.

"A-hahahahaha!" Bruce was still laughing, in that unstoppable way where you're laughing instead of breathing. "Hahaha-why-," he finally managed to gasp out. "Am I-ehheh-laughing?" He sounded so confused and yet his smile was threatening to pop off his face it was so big.

"I'll explain later, just try to breathe properly first," Tony said, not wanting his boyfriend to pass out. Bruce clapped a hand over his mouth and forced himself to breathe through his nose. When he pulled the hand away he was gasping for air, but he'd stopped laughing.

"What did you do?" Bruce gasped, already amazed by whatever Tony had done. He'd never had a transformation like that. Ever.

"I taught him to play patty-cake," Tony told him. "I needed a way to get him happy so you'd come back."

Bruce just gaped at him.

Tony smiled. "You can watch the footage later. I recommend it. It was fairly damn adorable. Better than kittens on Youtube." He grabbed Bruce's hand and helped pull him up to a sitting position.

"First though," he said. "Tell me about Christmas."

All the air rushed out of the room. Bruce's face transformed to one of complete shock. "How do you know about…?" he whispered, sounding almost afraid.

"I asked the Hulk what his oldest memory was, like you told me to. He said it was twinkly lights on a tree."

Tony had not been prepared for the tears that welled immediately in Bruce's eyes and spilled down his face.

"Ohmygod! Why are you crying? I made you cry!" Tony blurted, extremely alarmed.

Tony was caught like a dear in the headlights, watching as Bruce's face crumpled, his eyes big and sparkly with tears, and his breathing turned into choked little sniffs.

"He…he said that?" Bruce asked, his voice thick with emotion.

"Y-yeah, he did. Bruce, what's wr-"

Bruce buried his face in his hands and started to sob. Big, body shaking sobs.

"I can't believe- I c-can't believe," Bruce stuttered through his hands. Finally, after what seemed like an excruciatingly long time to Tony, he pulled his face away. His eyes seemed to have stopped producing new tears, but his face was damp with the old ones.

"Come on," Tony said, hoisting him to stand. "Let's get out of here." Bruce gripped at his pants and meekly followed Tony to the elevator.

Once they were back in the penthouse and settled on the sofa, Bruce had gone completely silent. This almost concerned Tony more than the crying. He sat there, waiting for Bruce to say something, anything, start crying again, _something._ Instead he just kept staring at the same spot on the floor while minutes ticked by.

"Bruce, you have to tell me what's going on or I'll just worry."

Bruce said nothing.

"Whatever this is about-" Tony tried again, but Bruce abruptly cut him off.

"Christmas was the first time my father beat me," Bruce said. Tony immediately fell silent.

Bruce still hadn't looked away from that one spot on the floor. His voice sounded so empty, so hollow.

Before Tony could even begin to form a response, Bruce got up and walked into his room, closing the still-broken door behind him without saying a word.

Bruce's father had beaten him?

Now Tony felt like crying.

He knew that Bruce had wanted space, but he couldn't give it to him. There was no way he was leaving him alone, not after that.

He went after him, and found him curled up in bed, the blankets pulled over his head.

"Bruce, let me-"

"Help? You can't help Tony, no one can help me," Bruce said from beneath the covers.

"Please, can't we just talk abo-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Bu-"

"No, Tony."

"If you jus-"

"Tony, _no._"

"But Bru-"

"Gamma!" Bruce said, still unmoving from underneath his sheets.

For a moment Tony was silent, different emotions struggling inside him.

"No!" he finally argued. "That is not an appropriate use of the safe word, I'm just trying to help, I'm not-"

Bruce flung the blankets aside, sat up and glared at Tony.

"Gamma! Gamma gamma gamma!" he yelled. "Now go away!"

Tony wilted, helpless, hurt, unwanted…he turned to leave.

"No!" Bruce suddenly cried. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean that! Un-gamma!" Tony turned back. Bruce looked so terribly lost and conflicted. The man dug his hands into his hair. "But don't make me talk about it!" he finally said.

Tony could accept that much. All he wanted was to be there for Bruce. If Bruce didn't want to talk about it, Tony wouldn't be the one to make him.

He sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Bruce. He settled his chin on the other man's bare shoulder. Bruce sighed and relaxed against him.

"I love you, Tony," Bruce said, his voice soft.

Tony blinked. He hadn't been expecting to hear that.

"Maybe now wasn't the right time…" Bruce trailed off.

"No," Tony whispered. "It was the perfect time." Any time would have been the perfect time. Any moment when those words were spoken instantly became a perfect moment, as far as Tony was concerned.

"I love you too," he said, nuzzling his hair into Bruce's.

Bruce gripped Tony's hand.

"I was five."

Bruce was talking about it, Tony realized. But he hadn't made him. Maybe that was why he was talking about it…

"My father hated me."

Tony swallowed the urge ask why. He would not ask anything. Bruce was barely managing to say the things he was saying, Tony would not delve deeper than Bruce was willing to go.

"He killed my mother."

Tony let the horror wash over him silently, not saying a word.

"Sometimes…thinking about him makes me angry. So angry. Angrier than anything else ever has. And sometimes…sometimes I just feel like this. Dead inside. And to hear that the Hulk…the Hulk remembers it too… I don't know why, Tony, but it's just so depressing. So incredibly depressing."

Tony nuzzled him again, just to let him know he was listening.

Bruce started to cry again. "It's like he's me, Tony! He's how I felt in that moment! Just a little kid, scared and confused, trying to get Daddy to stop hitting him!"

Tony cringed and squeezed him tighter.

"The Hulk's been there all along!" Bruce continued, his throat raw from the tears, his voice high and hysterical. "He was there when my dad hit me and he hit my mom and told me I was worthless, he was there, feeling trapped and helpless and _angry!_ Angry that it was so unfair! My dad hated me Tony, he just hated me! He hated me so much and I don't know why! I was only _five!_" Bruce's voice broke, tears spilling down his face. For a moment he struggled in Tony's grip, although he didn't mean to and he didn't even know he was doing it. Tony never let him go though.

"All this time," Bruce choked. "All this time, he's just been that broken part of me…that broken part that refuses to die!" Bruce thrashed again, his eyes wide and staring past where they were into the images of his past.

Tony couldn't help it. He started to cry.

Bruce stilled, brought back to where he was by the sound of quiet sniffling above his ear. He shifted around to look at Tony.

Bruce didn't think anyone had seen Tony Stark cry in a very long time. It was like Tony had forgotten how to do it. His face was tight, like he could will his tears back into his eyes and erase the fact that he was crying.

"Tony…"

Tony buried his face back into Bruce's shoulder and just let himself cry. His quiet little sobs were the only words he could find to tell Bruce how much his pain meant to him. How much he cared. How much it broke his heart. How much he wanted Bruce to be okay. How much he wanted his father to die a cruel and horrible death if he was still alive.

They lied down on the bed together, it seemed the natural thing to do. Tony's arms were still wrapped around him. He was still crying. Bruce just listened to the sound of Tony Stark's tears, that voice usually so bold and fearless, now choked with vulnerability.

Bruce shifted around to face him. "Don't cry," he told him.

"But it's so sad," Tony insisted. It was such a simple summary. But accurate. It _was_ very very sad.

"That's okay though. Sad things can happen and we don't have to be sad about them," Bruce said. Tony looked up at him.

"You don't believe that," Tony said, knowing with certainty that he didn't.

"No. But it should be true for you Tony, nothing should ever make you sad."

"You shouldn't ever be sad either, Bruce," Tony said, wishing Bruce believed that he could have better. That he even deserved it.

"It's too late for me," Bruce said, acceptance in his voice.

"It's too late for me too," Tony informed him, snuggling against him. Tony had been sad before and he would be sad again. "If we have to be sad though, let's be sad together," he said.

Bruce pulled Tony close. They both buried their faces into the crook of the other's neck. Bruce felt so safe and warm, surrounded by Tony and the way that he smelled. Tony gripped at Bruce, the pressure of the other man's chest pressed against his the only thing that kept Tony believing that there was anything right in the world.

"I'm going to kill your father," Tony growled.

"Shush, just go to sleep," Bruce told him, done thinking about it. Tony was there and that was all that mattered. Bruce couldn't remember the last time he could actually do anything about how awful the world was, but now it seemed that he could hold onto Tony. It was incredible how much of a difference that made.

"We take too many naps," Tony informed him.

"Just go to sleep. When we wake up you can show me the Hulk playing patty-cake."

Tony smiled and snuggled closer, closing his eyes.

All of the world's shit still existed when they closed their eyes, but as long as they were together then it wasn't so bad. What was it Bruce had said earlier?

_You might be able to get me up to moderately un-miserable, though._

Tony would take it. If this was what Bruce Banner was up against, he'd take it. He would do anything in his power to ease Bruce's suffering, even if it was only slightly. He would be there for him through rage and panic attacks and painful memories. Because he loved him.

And because Bruce loved him back.

* * *

I now love this chapter just as much as my lovely reviewers do. Thank you guys for helping me see the value in my own work.


	12. I'll Follow

**This Chapter Is Called**

**"I'll Follow"**

**Or**

**"Trust, Milkshakes, Dancing, Identities, and Dreams of Matrimony"**

**(In other words, I couldn't pick a theme and stick with it.)**

Bruce woke up first, his eyelids lifting to the sight of Tony Stark's sleeping face, rested on the pillow next to his. It was something Bruce was seeing for the first time, although Tony had seen him asleep several times by now.

Bruce smirked. Tony's calculatedly chaotic hair became simply chaotic in his sleep. Drained of all his pretense and attitude, Tony looked oddly cute. Bruce knew that Tony preferred to be seen as sexy and exciting though, so he figured he would be keeping any "cute" comments to himself.

He reached out a hand and tucked a strand of hair away from Tony's face.

"I love you," he whispered. He wouldn't have told Tony all of those things if he didn't.

He'd never told anyone about what his father had done to him before. Tony was the first. It felt a bit scary, knowing that the secret was no longer his alone. It made him feel as though he had less control over it. It was no longer his to simply lock away inside himself. Tony owned a part of it too now. He'd listened and held him and cried for him. It was a piece of him now, resting inside him just as it rested inside Bruce.

Why did that make Bruce feel just a little bit better? It shouldn't. He'd spilled a secret he'd wanted to never reveal, he'd burdened Tony with his overwhelming pain, and yet he felt better.

His father had hated him, but Tony loved him. What did that mean about Bruce? Was he wretched, or was he extraordinary? Twisted, or amazing? Would it ever really matter which was true, or had that one Christmas morning decided forever how Bruce would feel about himself?

_Maybe loving someone who loves me will be close enough,_ Bruce thought, looking at Tony's restful face. _That's a bit like loving yourself. It's in a closed loop at least. The love I give Tony should come back to me somehow, shouldn't it?_

Self esteem issues. Those words had been repeated to Bruce by therapist after therapist.

"_You're not happy because you don't think you deserve to be,"_ one of them had said to him.

What made you deserve to be happy? Was it something you had control over, or was it decided for you? Bruce had often wondered this. Would believing he deserved happiness really be the key? Would self esteem magically make his life seem a brighter, better thing? Or would it simply inspire him to improve his situation, because he was worth it? So much had happened to him that had been outside of his control, it was hard to imagine a simple feeling could have changed much.

Then again, what he felt for Tony was just a feeling, and it had changed everything.

As if on queue, Tony blinked his eyes open and smiled sleepily at Bruce.

"Hey…I finally got into your bed," he mumbled, sounding pleased.

Bruce scoffed and grinned. Tony sat up beside him.

"You didn't even get under my covers," Bruce pointed out, still smiling.

"I'm working on it," was Tony's answer. He rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"After two," Bruce told him, looking at the clock on his bedside table.

"Mmm, is this just going to be a thing now? Us taking naps all the time?"

"Only if I keep throwing emotional fits in the middle of the day," Bruce said. "So yeah, probably." Bruce hoped to himself that he'd meant it as a joke, but he couldn't honestly be sure.

"I need to get dressed," he told Tony, giving him a quick kiss before getting up. He was still in the pants he'd Hulked-out in.

"Can I stay?" Tony asked, not wanting to leave Bruce's presence.

"Of course, just don't look."

Tony smirked. "You trust me?"

Bruce stopped on his way into the walk-in, and just looked at Tony, taken a little off guard by the question. Tony had meant it casually, flirtatiously, but Bruce found himself considering the question seriously. He didn't need to consider it much though.

"I'd trust you with anything," he said simply, the truth of his words so evident that it took him by surprise. Anything. Everything. Always.

Tony went a bit red at that. It was more deeply flattering than any compliment he'd ever received for his looks or his mind. It was like Bruce was giving him total access. For the first time Tony got the feeling that Bruce might really, in some way, be _his._ Belong to him. Tony wanted to belong to Bruce too. Was that what trust was? Giving yourself to someone else?

Bruce had been planning to change in the walk-in, out of Tony's sight unless the billionaire went to the edge of the bed. Instead, he walked out with the clothes he'd chosen and stood in full view of where Tony was sitting.

Tony gave him an uncertain look, not sure of what Bruce was doing.

"Close your eyes," he said. He spoke it softly and yet it was a command.

The firmness in Bruce's voice made Tony shiver, and he wanted instantly to comply. He gave Bruce one last look and then covered his eyes with his hands. He listened intently to what he could not see. He heard Bruce's abused pants hit the floor, heard the rustling of cloth as he pulled on new ones, heard him pull up his zipper. He heard the soft flapping of Bruce's shirt in the air as he pulled it on.

"Okay, open up," he said.

Tony opened his eyes to Bruce buttoning his un-tucked shirt, the length of his chest still exposed. Tony was glad that Bruce was letting him see this part. There was something intimate about watching Bruce get dressed that had nothing to do with sex or arousal. It occurred to Tony, out of the blue, that married couples probably watched each other get dressed all the time. Tony felt the most overwhelming sensation rush over him at that thought.

Bruce saw the way that Tony was spacing out. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

Tony wasn't exactly sure what he was thinking about. Surely he wasn't thinking about what he thought he was thinking about. Exchanging rings. Bells ringing. Bruce looking utterly stunning in a tuxedo.

"I wanna take you out," Tony said suddenly.

Bruce quirked his head to the side. "Assassinate me?" he asked, puzzled.

Tony shot him a look. "No you loon, I want to take you on a date."

Why did Bruce look more alarmed by that then the prospect of Tony ending his life?

"You want me to…leave the Tower?" he asked.

Tony shifted uncomfortably. "Well…yeah."

Bruce just stared at him.

"Tony…"

"Before you say no," Tony said, sensing where this was going. "Can I just remind you that we don't need to go anywhere in New York. I have a jet. I can fly us anywhere in the world."

"Well…"

He was considering it!

"No."

Tony gaped at him. "Whyyyyyy?" he whined.

"Because," Bruce said. "I've been all over the world. I didn't like it. I'd rather just stay put for once."

"Bruce, I understand the sentiment, really I do," Tony began. "But I don't see how you can reasonably equate going on a date with me to being on the run from the military."

Bruce frowned, not liking that dose of logic.

"Please Bruce," Tony pleaded. "I don't like staying cooped up where no one can see me. I'm an attention whore."

"Charmingly blatant," Bruce said. "But I'm not asking you to stay cooped up anywhere. Go slap on an Iron Man suit, fly around Times Square, get yourself on the evening news, do whatever you need to do. I'll be here when you get back."

Tony pouted. "But…no. No, you don't get it. I don't want to show off the suit. People have seen the suit."

"Suits," Bruce reminded him.

"It's all the same suit, they're extensions of each other. And my latest model is incomplete anyway, so-"

"So show off some other way, I'm sure you know how."

"Bruce, you're completely missing the point!" Tony said finally, although he _did_ realize that he hadn't done a great job of getting his point across in the first place. "I don't want to show off _me,_ I want to show off _you."_

Bruce seemed rather disturbed by the concept, judging by the stunned look he gave Tony. Tony stood on his knees on the bed and took Bruce's hands in his.

"I want to show off you and how deliriously happy you make me," he said, looking into Bruce's eyes, trying to funnel all of his Stark charm into his gaze.

"You…really?" Bruce said, looking hesitant. "That wouldn't embarrass you?" he asked.

"Embarrass me? No. Why? Why on Earth would you embarrass me?" Tony asked, upset by the very idea.

"Tony," Bruce said. "Think for a moment about the hit your reputation would take. You're a hero, people love you. They _hate_ me. They won't like it. And I hate to say it, but for each person who hates me for being a monster, there'll be ten more who will simply hate the fact that we're two men. People will turn on you."

Tony frowned intently at Bruce's words.

"Bruce, I don't care what people think of me. I make sure they're thinking about me as often as I possibly can just to prove that point," Tony said. "Let them spew whatever hatred they want. It won't touch us." Nothing could touch them.

"It won't touch us if we keep our relationship private, either," Bruce argued.

"You mean a secret," Tony frowned. "Are you sure it's me you're worried about being embarrassed?"

Bruce looked away. "Tony, that's not… Okay, yes. I would be embarrassed. But not of _you._ Never of you. I'd be embarrassed of me. It's not our relationship I want to lock away in this Tower, it's me."

Tony raised Bruce's hands to his lips. "What if I won't let you?"

"Do you really think forcing me out into public could end in anything other than disaster, Tony?" Bruce sighed.

"You mean the Hulk."

"Of course I mean the Hulk. It's one thing when I transform with you up in the green room, but it would be entirely different if people were around to get hurt. Even if you could keep him calm, I highly doubt a Hulk appearance would go without consequences."

Tony knew that Bruce had a good point. But he couldn't help thinking that the reason Bruce was at such a risk of getting angry was because he _expected_ himself to get angry. How could Tony tell him that though and expect it to change anything? It didn't seem likely.

"What if we started small?" Tony asked, desperate to find some victory for himself. "Instead of going on a date, we could just… I don't know, shop for groceries or something."

Bruce raised an eyebrow at that. "Don't tell me you actually do your own grocery shopping?"

"Well no, I don't," Tony admitted. "But I would for you, to get you out into the world for just a little bit."

Bruce looked down, hiding the little smile that had formed on his lips. Part of what he loved about Tony was the way he shone in the spotlight, and as much as the thought terrified him, the fact that Tony wanted to share that spotlight with him was one of the greatest compliments he could have paid Bruce.

"Maybe…maybe when we run out of milk we _could _take a trip to the store…" Bruce relented. He couldn't help it.

Tony grinned so brilliantly that Bruce's heart gave a little flutter in response.

"Great!" Tony beamed, and hopped up from the bed and headed for the door.

"Hey," Bruce said after him. "Where are you going?"

Tony paused with his hand on the doorknob. "I'm going to go eat a bowl of cereal. And then make a milkshake. My hand eye coordination is terrible though, so if some of it spills…"

Bruce laughed and walked over to Tony. He hugged him from behind.

"Your hand eye coordination is perfect," Bruce argued, pressing Tony into him.

"Well, love does funny things to people," Tony went on. "My hands might start to shake if I think of your lovely eyes."

"Really?" Bruce scoffed. "My eyes?"

"Fine then," Tony ceded. "I'll grow faint when I think of your tight a-"

Bruce grabbed Tony by the arm and twirled him around to face him, effectively cutting off the end of his inappropriate sentence.

"Banner," Tony said, eyes wide, impressed. "Who knew you could dance?"

"My aunt gave me lessons," Bruce explained, a little smile on his face. "I don't put it to much use, but it's apparently good for quieting that mouth of yours."

That was too good to ignore.

"You have to show me," Tony said, grabbing Bruce's hand and leading him out into the living room. Bruce watched as he pushed the sofa and the coffee table out of the way.

"This is our dance floor," Tony said proudly, gesturing to the space he'd cleared. "JARVIS, play us something nice."

Music started playing, it was soft and sweet with a noticeable rhythm. Perfect, really.

"You're really serious about this?" Bruce asked, trying to hold back his grin.

"JARVIS, dim lighting," was Tony's answer. The lights lowered to a romantic level. Bruce grinned and joined Tony on their "dance floor."

"Do you want to lead or follow?" Bruce asked.

"I'm not that bad of a dancer myself," Tony pointed out. "But I've only ever lead before. You can do both?"

Bruce smiled. "My cousin Jen liked to lead. I didn't much care either way."

Tony grinned. "Doesn't care about gender, doesn't care about leading, what's up with that Bruce?"

Bruce shrugged. "I guess I'm just pretty laid back. You know, except for how I'm totally not in almost every single way."

Tony smiled at Bruce. _Do I ever stop smiling around him?_ he wondered. _Or is it all just one continuous smile?_ He thought about earlier, about what Bruce had said about trusting him, and what he'd thought about giving yourself to someone meaning you trusted them.

"You lead," Tony decided. "Don't go green if I step on your toes, though."

"It takes a bit more than that," Bruce said, shifting his hand to rest above Tony's hip. Tony's hand went to Bruce's shoulder. Their other hands clasped together.

"Remember, I go forwards, you go backwards," Bruce told him.

"I'm a little bit nervous," Tony laughed.

"Don't be, I got you."

And he did. It was so easy to follow Bruce. He seemed to have a flawless understanding of Tony's balance, and he shifted their weight together fluidly, communicating each movement to Tony through subtle hints made with his body. Despite never having heard the music before, Bruce seemed to know exactly how to dance to it. He moved Tony backwards and forwards, spinning around, under his arm, away from him, back to him. It left Tony breathless and exhilarated, like he'd just been flying in the Iron Man suit. There was something incredible about letting someone else be in charge for once, and the fact that it was Bruce was even more amazing.

This was the first time he'd seen Bruce look so comfortable with anything that wasn't scientific. He was relaxed, he was confident, he was having fun.

Tony still wanted to get him out of the Tower, but this, this he decided, was their first date.

When Bruce's hands weren't holding onto Tony and guiding him through a step, they were gliding over him. Across his shoulders, down his back, up his chest.

"You danced with your cousin like this?" Tony asked, laughing.

"I might be deviating slightly from the moves Aunt Elaine taught me," Bruce admitted, a sheepish grin on his face.

"I'm glad that you are," Tony grinned.

When they finally collapsed back onto the repositioned sofa, they were both hot and short of breath. They'd danced through at least twenty songs.

Needing to cool off, Tony pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing the black undershirt he wore underneath.

"Oh," Bruce whispered, his eyes widening.

At first Tony actually forgot why Bruce would have that reaction, he was so used to his arc reactor.

"That's right," he remembered. "You've never seen it."

Bruce shook his head, staring awe stricken at the blue pattern glowing through Tony's shirt.

"I tend to keep it covered when people are around. I guess I started wearing extra layers when you moved in." Letting his arc reactor show had become Tony's equivalent to letting his hair down. It was something he only did in the privacy of his own home, when there was no one around but himself and sometimes Pepper when she dropped in unexpectedly. He had just gotten so comfortable around Bruce though, he'd forgotten.

Bruce was consumed by the sight in front of him. There was a piece of machinery embedded in Tony's chest. Of course, he'd known that perfectly well before seeing it, but seeing it was different. That blue glow was what kept Tony alive. It was like he could look straight into Tony's core, into the source of Tony Stark. It sent shivers through him.

The way Bruce was staring at the arc reactor…Tony couldn't help but think there was more than scientific curiosity in his eyes.

"Can I touch it?" Bruce whispered before he even knew he was going to ask.

Tony didn't know why he was so fascinated. Well, it _was_ revolutionary technology, of course, Tony knew that. He'd brag about it until the cows came home, from wherever it was that cows went, but for some reason the way Bruce was looking at it made him feel like dismissing that, shrugging it off as no big deal. Tony actually felt _shy._ Because Bruce wasn't looking at it like an invention, he was looking at it the way that Tony had come to think of it as: his most intimate, private part of himself. The arc reactor represented so much to Tony that he'd never truly be able to share with another human being; his capture, his torture, his loss, his struggle, the changes he'd made. Who he'd become.

Why did Bruce know that? Why could he look at a hunk of metal and see Tony's soul instead?

Why was Bruce Banner so utterly perfect?

"Of course you can," Tony said, gulping slightly. Bruce glanced up at him, then quickly back to the arc. Gently, he reached out and placed his hand onto the metal disk.

Tony didn't have nerve endings in the arc. It wasn't like he could feel anything besides a slight pressure. He gasped all the same.

Bruce pulled down on Tony's shirt, exposing the reactor to bare air. His eyes devoured the brilliant blue glow, unrestrained and dazzling. Then his eyes went to the scars that surrounded the arc reactor.

"Oh," he sighed softly, running a rough finger down the edge of the reactor, along Tony's bumpy, knotted skin.

_That_ Tony could feel.

"Oh my god! …wow," he said, at a loss for anything more to say. He could feel each cell in his body come alive at Bruce's touch.

Bruce agreed whole heartedly. "I really like it…" he whispered.

"It really likes you," Tony said back, despite how little sense that made.

"I want it," Bruce said, not really sure what he meant either.

"It's yours," Tony gasped.

Bruce leaned forward and pressed his lips against the arc reactor. Again, Tony couldn't _actually_ feel it, and yet the action sent tendrils of pleasure streaking through him. He groaned.

"Oh god, why does this feel so good?" he asked, honestly clueless.

Bruce rose from the arc reactor, placed a single kiss at Tony's collar bone, then gripped Tony's face, bringing it to his.

"I love you Tony," he said. He really did. How could he begin to express how much Tony meant to him? How incredibly grateful he was to that glowing invention? It was as if the arc reactor was the source of Bruce's life as well. He didn't think he'd be able to go on with out Tony. The thought was unbearable.

"Sure you don't just want my sexy hardware?" Tony quipped, because Tony used humor the way regular organisms used air, and because the way Bruce was looking at him made him nervous. He really wanted Bruce to mean it.

"Be quiet," Bruce said, slightly cross. "It's only sexy because it's inside of you," he promised, then kissed him on the lips.

"I love you," he said again when they broke apart. Tony was starting to believe him.

"Could you say that again?" he asked.

"I love you Tony Stark." Another kiss. It had been so long since Tony had heard that from anyone.

"I love _you_ Bruce," he said, kissing him back, wrapping his arms around him.

"I love you." Bruce said, returning the embrace. Soon they were kissing rapid, frenzied kisses, gasping "I love you's" out in between each one.

"I love y-!" Bruce was cut off by Tony's mouth on his, a force to it that sent them falling from the sofa onto the carpet. Instinctively Tony turned so that he hit the floor and Bruce fell on top of him.

"You okay?" Bruce asked, concerned.

Tony answered by pulling him against him, kissing him again.

Bruce wasn't sure how long they kissed before he collapsed on the carpet next to Tony, exhausted and breathless. It could have been ten minutes, an hour, a lifetime.

"Why do you make me feel so good?" he asked Tony. A few hours ago his heart had been breaking, tears pouring from his eyes, his body racked with the pain and emotion of old, terrible memories. And then Tony had gotten involved, and Bruce had ended up _dancing._ How amazing was Tony Stark that he could take Bruce from the depths of despair to...twirling around and laughing?

"I could ask you the same," Tony replied.

"No really," Bruce said, resting on his side to look at Tony. "Why are you so absolutely incredible?" _I don't deserve this,_ he'd been about to say, but then he'd thought of what that therapist had said, and kept it to himself.

"I'm not," Tony said. "I'm a reckless person with terrible self control. I've slept around. I drink too much. I care too much about petty things." Tony wasn't sure why he was saying these things. He wanted more than anything for Bruce to like him, and yet he didn't want Bruce to be blind to his faults either.

"I know all that about you Tony," Bruce said. "I knew who you were for years before we ever met. You're a celebrity, remember? As far as I'm concerned, disliking yourself for those things is just as pointless and random as my father hating me."

"Don't _say_ that," Tony said to Bruce seriously. "Don't say that, it's not the same thing at all. What he did was sick, there is no comparison."

Bruce shrugged. "He saw something awful where others just saw a little kid. You see yourself as deeply flawed where I see someone with countless desirable traits. Maybe there is no truth. Wouldn't that almost make more sense? Maybe there is no truth, maybe it's just how you choose to look at things." The old thoughts ran through Bruce's head again. What made you deserve to be happy? Was it something you had control over, or was it decided for you? Or was it something you just chose to believe?

Tony didn't know what to say.

"Maybe we should get off the floor," he suggested. It was starting to get uncomfortable.

Bruce chuckled. "Okay," he said, sitting up and getting back onto the sofa. Tony sat down beside him.

Tony found himself thinking about what Bruce had said about him being a celebrity, and it occurred to Tony for the first time that Bruce probably really did know far more about him than he did about Bruce.

"Tell me something about yourself Bruce," Tony said, gazing at him. Bruce laughed, confused. The request seemed fairly out of left field.

"What do you mean, Tony?"

"Well, isn't that the sort of question people usually ask on dates?"

"This is a date now?" Bruce asked.

"I did take you dancing," Tony pointed out. "Later we can share a milkshake if you want."

Bruce laughed. "You really do things your own way, don't you Tony?"

"Pretty much always yes," was Tony's response. "Seriously though, tell me something about yourself."

Bruce angled his head to the side a bit. "I've already told you so much though. More than I've ever told anyone."

"And I love that," Tony said with enthusiasm. "I love being the one person informed on the enigma that is Bruce Banner."

Bruce laughed. "I'm not an enigma."

"Oh really?" Tony said, raising an eyebrow. "No one knows anything about you Bruce. Well, I'm sure SHEILD does, but on all those news reports after your accident, no one ever seemed to really know who you were. They talked about where you'd worked and where you'd studied, but nothing personal or dating before college. No mention of your home town, or your…childhood. Why is that?"

Bruce just looked at Tony for a moment in silence before he answered.

"I might have…changed some records," Bruce said, not making eye contact.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"Well, I didn't actually erase anything," Bruce admitted. "I just added a lot of conflicting data. Made untangling the fact that Dr. Brian Banner had a wife he murdered and a son that went to live with his sister after he was institutionalized fairly difficult. Whether or not the physicist Dr. Bruce Banner was that son is nearly twice as impossible to determine. 'Banner' isn't a common name, but you wouldn't know that if you did a Google search. I imagine trying to research me was a living hell for those reporters."

_Oh._

"That's…that's actually brilliant," Tony said, very impressed.

"Thank you," Bruce smiled. "It was a birthday present to myself…it also probably helps that Bruce isn't my real name."

For a moment Tony's brain froze, incapable of processing what Bruce had just said. He looked at Bruce, stiff with alarm. "What?" he asked.

"Bruce, it's not my real name," Bruce repeated, unsure what to make of Tony's reaction. Tony was staring at him like he'd just confessed to being an alien invader.

"Are you…? Oh God. Is this another Natalie/Natasha thing? Are you a Russian spy too?" Tony moaned.

"What? No!" Bruce laughed. "It's not a secret identity. Bruce is just my _middle_ name."

Tony relaxed visibly. "Oh thank goodness… I don't think I could have handled that." His worry abated, intrigue grew in his eyes to replace it. "Wait a minute, what _is_ your first name then?" That was a pretty big thing not to know about someone.

"It's Robert..." Bruce said. Tony's ears drank up the sound. "Doctor Robert Bruce Banner. That is my _real_ name," Bruce said, an official tone to his voice. Tony's eyes lit up. This was exactly what he'd wanted, some new piece of Bruce that no one else had.

"Why do you go by Bruce?" he asked, delighted.

Bruce smiled sadly. "My mom wanted to name me Bruce, but my dad didn't like it." He looked off into the distance, his eyes sparkling with unseen memories. "He'd scream 'Rob' at me, and my mom would whisper 'Bruce' in my ear. When I moved in with my Aunt I asked them to start calling me Bruce too."

Tony laughed. "Well, this feels familiar, I've already slept with you and I'm just now finding out your name."

Bruce smacked him playfully. "First of all, we slept in the same bed, stop trying to imply something else, and secondly, you _knew_ my name, it just happened to only be part of it."

"So you never got it legally changed? Even though you've been going by Bruce since you were a kid?" Tony asked.

Bruce smiled, expressing acceptance more than any sort of happiness. "To the rest of the world I will always be Bruce, but to my dad I was Robert, and a legal document wouldn't change that. I _am_ Doctor Robert Bruce Banner."

Tony couldn't stop the words that ran through his head. _Do you take Dr. Robert Bruce Banner to be your lawfully wedded husband…?_ He had to stop thinking these things. For one thing, it was inappropriate to think about at the beginning of a relationship, secondly, Tony Stark did not think like that. _Matrimony_ was a dirty word in Tony's book.

"Do you want that milkshake now?" Tony asked. Bruce smiled.

"You were serious about the milkshake?"

"Of course, I need to get rid of that milk so we can go shopping."

Bruce just grinned. There really was no stopping Tony. He always got what he wanted eventually.

* * *

This chapter is coming to you later than it would have if I hadn't been having internet issues. I really hope you like it, because again, I'm feeling uncertain about this chapter. It's far more transitional than the last chapter was though, so if it's not the greatest thing of all time then I guess that's alright. By the way, I didn't make up Bruce's real name being Robert, a quick internet search will prove that, so if you thought I was being completely random, I wasn't. He also really does have an Aunt named Elaine and a Cousin Jen (She-Hulk!) I did make up the dance lessons though. Please, please, please, please, please, review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. I need encouragement to keep going.

Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I apparently reduced several people to tears. I know making people cry usually gets you put in the time-out chair, but in this situation I consider it a job well done. I was so unsure about that chapter, and the response was so overwhelmingly supportive. Thank you guys! I wish that I knew how to respond to each of you individually, but I think I've got review-response writers block. Just as long as I don't get actual writers block, I think we'll be okay.


	13. I Drank The Milk

**...And The Milk Won**

Over the next few days they worked together in Tony's lab, Bruce assisting him with the designs that Pepper had brought over. Tony had the milk in the kitchen brought down and stashed in his in-lab mini fridge, and he would take swigs from it almost compulsively.

"You're going to make yourself sick," Bruce said.

Tony looked at him, the plastic jug still poised at his lips. "Then tell me that I don't have to do this and that you'll go to the store with me anyway," he suggested.

Bruce and Tony just looked at each other at that. Bruce knew Tony was determined to finish the milk, and would actually be disappointed if he didn't have to. A part of Bruce wanted him to finish it as well. He would never admit it, but Bruce sort of liked the idea of someone doing stupid things just to impress him. No one had ever cared much about winning his approval before.

"No…that's okay," Bruce said, glancing away. He reached out his hand for the milk and Tony handed him the jug. Bruce threw back a gulp or two of milk, then wiped the milk from his mouth and looked back at Tony.

"We just kissed indirectly," Tony grinned.

Bruce laughed.

Tony took the milk from him and set it back in the fridge.

"Did you know that every time you laugh, my heart melts?" Tony asked Bruce seriously.

Bruce smiled, very pleased by that information. "It's a good thing you make me laugh so often then."

"Mhmm…" Tony said, wrapping his arms around Bruce's waist. They looked into each other's eyes, basking in the other's presence.

"We should get back to work…" Bruce said. Tony reluctantly agreed, only because working with Bruce was just as fun as certain other activities Tony enjoyed with him.

"You understand what I'm talking about!" Tony had exclaimed gleefully when they'd first gone over the designs.

Not only did Bruce understand what Tony told him, he had his own thoughts and ideas that were on, and sometimes beyond, Tony's level. At one point, Bruce had corrected a design flaw that Tony had completely missed. He'd adjusted his glasses, pointed at the holo-screen, and nonchalantly commented on the mistake. He'd seamlessly explained the issues it would have caused and how to fix the situation, using a highly advanced yet elegantly simple approach.

Tony had thrown himself at the man, pushing him against one of the work tables.

"Hot damn, smart is sexy!" he'd said once he'd released Bruce's mouth from his own. Bruce had just burst into soft chuckles. It was around that time that Tony had realized Bruce's laughter was the most perfect sound in existence.

"Alright," Tony said later that day, his eyes bleary from long hours of work and his stomach aching from too much milk. "The designs are finally finished," he said, giving them a satisfied smile.

"Also, we're out of milk," Bruce announced. Tony's face lit up.

"Really?" he asked joyfully.

"There's one swig left," Bruce said, holding the jug out to him. Tony frowned down at the plastic container, steeling himself against the task at hand. He gripped the plastic handle, took it from Bruce's hand and threw his head back, draining the last of the liquid.

He threw his arms out, flinging the empty container off into some far corner of the lab.

"Aahhhh!" he roared in triumph.

Bruce smiled at his silly boyfriend.

"To the store!" Tony declared.

Bruce frowned. "Isn't it sort of late?"

Tony hijacked Bruce's arm and looked at the watch on his wrist. "It's only 4:30," he said.

Bruce looked at his watch too, eyes wide. "Really? It feels so much later than that. I guess it's been a while since I've worked on such a demanding project."

"Right! So we need a break!" Tony declared. "Something to take our minds off of all the work we just did. Shopping!"

Bruce laughed. "Why are you so excited for something you never actually do?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Because I'm doing it with _you,_ duh." He tapped a few buttons on the hollo-screen and pulled out his cell phone. "It's downloading into a flash drive now, I'll just call Pepper to tell her to come pick it up tomorrow and-"

Bruce gave Tony a curious look when he suddenly fell silent.

"Oh my god!" the billionaire blurted, alarm in his voice.

"What?" Bruce asked, no clue what was going on.

"I forgot to tell Pepper!" Tony exclaimed.

"Isn't that what you're doing now?" Bruce asked, confused by Tony's erratic behavior.

"No! Not about the designs, about us!" Tony said, and finally it clicked in Bruce's head.

"Oh…" he said. "Well it's only been…what, three days?"

"Four."

"Well, that's not so bad, she'll probably understand-"

"You don't get it!" Tony moaned. "I tell Pepper _everything!_ Even the stuff she doesn't want to know! We wouldn't even be together if it weren't for Pepper! I should have told her right away, and she'll think so too! She's going to be mad at me!"

Bruce looked at his distressed boyfriend thoughtfully.

"Then I'll call her," he said, holding out his hand for the cell phone.

Tony's eyes widened. "You would?"

"Sure," Bruce said. "She's not likely to yell at me, is she?"

"No…" Tony agreed, a grin spreading on his face. "You're right! That's perfect! You'd really do that?"

Bruce smiled, taking the phone.

"Of course, I'd do anything for you."

He missed the emotional look that came over Tony's face while he scrolled through his contacts.

Tony watched with anticipation as Bruce held the phone to his ear and waited for Pepper to pick up.

"Hi Pepper. Actually this is Bruce. No, Tony's fine. Nothing's wrong. He's standing right next to me. I'm calling because I had some news that I wanted to tell you myself, because I probably won't get the chance to personally inform anyone besides you." Bruce had said it to cover for Tony, but once the words were out he realized they were true. "I don't have that many people in my life and I've come to think of you as a…friend."

It warmed Tony's heart to see the love of his life conversing with his own best friend that way. It gave Tony a sense of…family.

Bruce laughed softly at something Pepper said on the other end. "Yeah, thank you for that. Well, back to my news, I just wanted to tell you…that I've returned Tony's feelings and we're together now."

There was a split second of silence before Bruce had to take the phone away from his ear, or be deafened by the shriek that even Tony could hear coming over the line. Once it had died down Bruce put the phone back to his ear to answer an onslaught of questions.

"Yes. Yes really. Four days ago. I did. Yes, seriously. Since college?" Bruce laughed. "Well it's sorted out now. Yes he is. Yes I will. Trust me, I'm well aware." Bruce barked out a laugh that had Tony wondering what they were really saying to each other. Bruce looked up from the phone.

"She wants to talk to you."

Tony gulped and took the phone.

"Hey Pep I - yes. Yes I know you did. You were right. You're always right. Yes I'll put that in writing for you. Ummm… Bruce wanted to wait? Yeah. Well you know him, he's so bashful…"

Tony was silent for a moment, then gestured awkwardly to Bruce that he was going to step out of the lab for a moment. Bruce watched him curiously as he left the room, but made no objection.

Tony crouched down and leaned against the wall once he was out in the hallway.

"_Tell me all about it Tony!"_ Pepper said over the line.

"It's…it's perfect Pepper," Tony whispered into the phone. "He's perfect. Jesus, he's perfect. Each second I spend with him, it's like…God Pepper, I'm so in love, I don't even know what to say. I mean, I _do_ know what to say, but the battery on my cell would run out before I finished, and I've suped this thing up to last weeks. It's like my life is in surround sound Technicolor now and before it was just static on a broken TV."

"_I've never heard you speak so poetically before."_

Tony groaned. "I knooooww. I'm so happy. I didn't know it was possible to be this happy. The only thing is…"

"_What?"_

"We're still sleeping in separate rooms," Tony whispered.

"_Tony, it's only been a couple days. Would you move in with someone after a couple days?"_

"We already live together!" Tony argued. "Why is it such a stretch to sleep in the same bed? I can't sleep at night thinking of him on the other side of that wall."

"_I would talk to Bruce about that, but don't try to bully him. You have to be patient and consider what he wants."_

Tony snorted. "Pepper, I know _that._ I have been doing this for _four_ days," he said proudly. "But…you really think I should talk to him?"

"_Yes, Tony. Communication is vital. Don't forget that. __**Vital.**__"_

"Should I be writing this down?" Tony asked.

"_Yes."_

Tony and Pepper chatted for nearly twenty minutes before Bruce peaked his head out of the lab.

"Oh, Pepper I think I have to go," Tony said. "Yes. Bye, love you too."

"Sorry to interrupt," Bruce smiled down at Tony. "I was just wondering if we were still going."

"Yes!" Tony hopped up, pocketing his cell phone.

They rode the elevator down to the ground floor.

"It's funny," Bruce said, looking around the lobby. "I've never actually been in this room."

"It's also funny that you haven't left the tower in a solid week," Tony added, holding the door open for him.

Bruce shrugged. "I sort of do things like that."

Tony ruffled Bruce's hair. "My boyfriend's a hermit," he grinned.

Bruce looked around at the busy street and evening traffic, adjusting to the idea that other people were once again within his proximity. It bothered him to see that the damage from their battle against the Chitauri had yet to be fully repaired, but he said nothing.

"Where exactly are we going?" Bruce asked.

Tony pointed at a limo parked in front of them. "There."

Sure enough the driver got out and opened the door for them. Tony slid in and Bruce followed.

"Okay, _now_ where are we going?" Bruce asked again.

Tony shrugged. "To a store. The driver will know where to take us."

Bruce laughed. "Sometimes I forget that you're a spoiled rich boy."

Tony looked offended for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, I am. But hey, haven't you ever wanted to make out with a spoiled rich boy in the back of a limousine?"

Bruce decided that in fact he had.

Eventually the driver informed them that they'd arrived and the limo rolled to a stop.

"Now remember," Bruce reminded Tony. "Hands off while we're in public. I still want our relationship kept private."

Tony gave him a twisted smile, an odd parody of his usual twisted frown. "Of course. I may have no desire to keep our love a secret, but outing us at a grocery store is hardly how I'd go about it."

That settled, the two departed the limo and headed into the store.

As soon as they stepped in, Bruce remembered why he hadn't wanted to do this. There wasn't a single head that didn't turn to stare at them. Bruce froze. He could see in their eyes that they knew who he was, knew _what_ he was, and although most of the looks he was getting held curiosity and surprise more than anything else, there was an undeniable element of fear mingled in.

"Hi everybody!" Tony cheered to the gawkers, making Bruce jump. "Anyone know where the milk is?" Tony inquired genially. A stunned clerk at the nearest check out responded.

"Um…aisle 11. Other side of the store."

"Thank you!" Tony said gratefully, tipping an imaginary hat at the young man and placing a hand on Bruce's arm. "Come on," he whispered. Bruce followed numbly, wanting to escape the stares, but not really wanting to delve deeper into the store either. He would have preferred to have walked out. If he'd been alone then he would have.

But no, he was with Tony Stark, and Tony insisted on exploring every display case and aisle in between the entrance and aisle eleven.

At the edge of the clothing department Tony grabbed a scarf from a mannequin and threw it over Bruce's neck, gripping the ends of it in his hands.

"This is a good color for you," Tony commented.

"Tony, it's pink," Bruce said, not bothering to resist Tony's antics.

"So?" Tony grinned. "Real men wear pink."

They moved on after Tony had tried on several hats and draped three more scarves over Bruce, not always one at a time.

"You're not really a scarf person anyway," Tony shrugged. "They'd cover up your manly chest hair."

Next they found themselves in the hair care aisle of all things, startling two teenage girls frightfully as they looked up from browsing hair accessories and saw two of the most well known men in the world standing there. They'd blushed and stammered and quickly run off, clutching their barrettes and scrunchies.

"Still got it," Tony grinned.

"Tony, ew, they looked like they were fifteen."

Tony frowned. "It's wrong if I think they're hot, not if they think _I'm_ hot. Besides, the blonde was totally looking at _you._ I'm not the only hottie in aisle…" Tony looked around. "Six."

"Tony, I am not…" he didn't even know how to phrase his protest. Tony simply ignored him.

"If you don't want to be seducing people then how 'bout you button your shirts up all the way?" Tony said, gripping the lapels of Bruce's shirt. "Honestly, you play shy, but what is this if not dressing provocatively?"

Bruce took a step back, out of Tony's reach and blushed. "I don't like having things near my neck…" he defended himself.

"Suuuure," Tony grinned.

They moved on from aisle 6 and Bruce was beginning to think that they would finally reach the dairy aisle when Tony grabbed him by the sleeve and pointed across the store.

"Oooooh, toy aisle!"

Bruce smacked a palm to his forehead. He really shouldn't have been surprised.

"Come on!" Tony exclaimed. "I bet they have action figures of me!"

Bruce tried to ignore yet more stares from the other costumers as he followed his hyper active boyfriend to the toys.

Sure enough, there were Iron Man action figures.

Tony sidled up to a five year old holding a box with the red armor figure. "That's me ya know," he said, grinning. She looked at him skeptically.

The girl dropped the box on the ground, said "Noooo," in a self assured tone, and waddled over to a Thor action figure instead, leaving the aisle with it in her grip. Tony laughed gleefully.

"I love kids!"

_You should, you are one._ Bruce thought.

"Think fast!" Tony exclaimed, shooting a foam ball at Bruce's head. In the last second before it hit him Bruce's hands snapped up and caught it, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

"Nice!" Tony said, impressed by Bruce's reflexes. Bruce chucked it back at him. "Oof!" Tony said when it got him in the gut, despite it being made of foam and therefore making very little impact at all. He was about to throw it back when he saw that Bruce was now staring at three super bouncy balls that he held in his hands, seeming deep in thought.

"Whatcha thinking 'bout?" Tony asked.

"I'm wondering if I can still juggle…" Bruce replied.

"You can juggle?" Tony asked, delighted.

"Well I could, I haven't tried in years."

"Try it!" Tony said.

Bruce frowned in concentration and then tossed a ball into the air. He caught it. Up another went. Then the other, until he'd picked up enough speed so that two were in the air at once.

"You're doing it!" Tony said happily. The pride in his voice caught Bruce's attention, and he couldn't help focusing on him instead. It suddenly occurred to him for the first time that he was actually sort of having fun, and for some reason Tony looked especially attractive in this unfamiliar environment.

The bouncy balls fell and crashed onto the surrounding shelves as Bruce looked at Tony.

Tony was bemused by Bruce's sudden distraction. He felt almost coy. He liked knowing he could have that affect on the man.

"Why Dr. Banner," he grinned.

Bruce just stared at Tony. "I'm not allowed to touch you right now…" he said.

"Nope," Tony agreed.

"I'm…not happy about that," Bruce said, frowning.

Tony laughed heartily.

"Come on, let's go get that milk."

"Finally!" Bruce exclaimed.

But when they found themselves standing in front of the refrigerated case, peering at the white jugs through the chilled glass, Tony simply stood in front of the door, not opening it.

"Problem?" Bruce asked.

"…the thought of drinking more milk physically sickens me," Tony said.

Bruce laughed. "Then what are we doing here?"

"I don't know," Tony admitted. "Not buying more milk though, that's for sure."

With Bruce laughing softly behind him, Tony lead their way back to the entrance (now to be their exit.) He stopped at the opening to an aisle they'd previously passed.

"Oh God, what is it now?" Bruce asked, following Tony's gaze.

It was the bedding aisle.

"Don't tell me there's something you need in there?" Bruce said. "You can afford to sleep on better than anything they sell here."

Tony shrugged. "Doesn't hurt to look, does it?" he said, heading down the aisle and perusing quietly. Bruce thought that very odd. He followed him all the same.

Bruce watched as Tony looked at differently patterned blankets, waiting for him to get bored and leave. It didn't happen though. There seemed to be a nervous energy around Tony now that Bruce couldn't explain. After a while Tony shuffled over to the pillows. He hugged one to his chest and turned to Bruce.

"Bruce! I wanna…" the billionaire trailed off.

"Yes?" Bruce encouraged inquisitively. Tony looked at him nervously.

"I was wondering…if you'd consider…moving into my room."

Bruce blinked at Tony. Was this what he'd been getting so anxious about?

"I'm not asking for anything more than that," Tony continued on, rushing his words. "Just sleep, you know? I can't sleep without you. Not since that nap we took. I keep snapping back awake, thinking that you should be next to me." He was rambling, and sharing too much, and he knew that he should just shut up and let Bruce respond, so he did. It was painful though. The urge to keep talking was overwhelming.

"Okay," Bruce said.

"Really?" Tony asked, thrown off that it had been that simple.

"Sure," Bruce smiled. "Now come on, I want to get out of here."

Tony grinned and followed his boyfriend out of the aisle. They were walking past the cashier who'd first given them directions when Tony stopped.

"Hang on a minute!" he said. Bruce groaned. "No, hold on, I'll just be a minute!" Tony said, and bolted off in the opposite direction. Bruce sighed and looked around him. The faces had changed, but he was still drawing just as much attention. He kept his eyes to the ground, trying to seem non-threatening.

When Tony ran back up, breathless and grinning, he held three large bouncy balls. Luckily there wasn't a line and he was able to pay for them right away.

"It was nice of you to do that," Bruce smiled as they walked out. "Thank you."

"Anything for you Darling," Tony said, opening the limo door for him.

* * *

So I think I'm finally out of my insecurity funk. Thank you guys for being patient with me. I think I'd just gotten to a point where I didn't really know where I wanted to take the story next, and it was freaking me out. I now definitely know where this is going and my confidence is back!


	14. All That Matters

"I've never actually been in your room before," Bruce commented once they were back at the penthouse.

"That's right," Tony realized. "I'll give you the tour."

The lay out and size of the room was much the same as Bruce's, but that was where the similarities ended. While Bruce's walls were bare, Tony's were decorated with an assortment of different things; a Warhol-style Iron Man poster, a Black Sabbath poster, framed crayon drawings of his earliest robot designs. For a man who spent so much time streamlining efficiency, Bruce would have thought his living quarters would be less cluttered. Not that it wasn't clean, it was just…full of stuff. There were a few bits and chunks of machinery resting on each flat surface, although for the most part Tony had managed to resist turning his bedroom into another lab. What struck Bruce was all the personal items. Tony had a sleek, expensive looking bedspread with wacky cartoonish pillows thrown onto it. He had a framed picture on his night table of him with his arm slung around Pepper, Pepper rolling her eyes and Tony flashing a peace sign.

"You really want me in here?" Bruce asked.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?" Tony replied.

"It's just…this place is so you. What if I mess with it?"

Tony looked at Bruce curiously. "Are you going to move my posters?"

"No."

"Are you going to throw out my pillows?"

"Of course not."

"Not even the Pikachu one?"

"No."

"Good, I got it at a fair. Full of fond memories," Tony said. "Bruce, I trust you to know what you can mess with and what not to. You're not an invasive person by nature. I know you'll be careful to respect my space. But I want this to be your space too." Tony frowned thoughtfully. "I've never…never had to share anything like this with anyone before, but…there's no one I'd rather share with than you. I _want_ this room to change. I don't want it to be 'me' anymore, I want it to be…"

Bruce watched as Tony grew increasingly uncomfortable with each sentiment he expressed.

"I want it to be us."

Bruce's heart was beating so rapidly that he couldn't even think of a response.

"I need to sit down," he said, growing light headed and sitting on Tony's bed. Tony sat down beside him.

"I don't have…" Bruce looked around the room. "I don't have much to move in here. Just clothes. I got out of the habit of personalizing my spaces. I haven't stayed in the same spot long enough for a while now."

"You do have something," Tony reminded him. Bruce looked at him quizzically before the billionaire got up and left the room. He came back with Bruce's juggling balls. He stacked them in a little pyramid on his desk, holding them in place with paperweights.

"There. The first touch of Banner to officially grace this room."

They spent the next hour making room in Tony's closet and moving Bruce's things in.

"Why did you get me this?" Bruce asked, holding up the tuxedo he'd found in his closet the day he'd moved in.

Tony shrugged. "I'm a rich boy. In my world, no wardrobe is complete with out formal wear."

When they'd finished moving Bruce in, the pair laid down on Tony's bed, now to be their bed. Tony hugged his Pikachu pillow to his chest.

"I'm so glad I don't have to sleep alone tonight," he admitted.

Bruce smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Pikachu there not enough for you?"

Tony clapped his hands over the pillow's ears. "Shh! Pillowchu is very jealous!"

Bruce snorted with laughter. He then snuggled deeper into the mattress.

"Mmm…this bed is just as nice as the one in my room," Bruce said happily.

"Of course," Tony said. "You deserve no less."

Soon it was dinner time, and they found themselves in their old familiar scenario, Tony cooking while Bruce sat at the bar.

"Have you ever made anything not delicious?" Bruce asked, happily consuming his dinner.

"Once," Tony admitted. "I tried to make something for Pepper, but I was nervous and it ended up as a disaster."

"Why were you nervous?" Bruce asked.

Tony looked reluctant. "…I had to tell her I was dying."

Bruce nearly choked on his food. "You were dying?" he asked, dismayed.

Tony realized then that, just because he was a celebrity, there were still plenty of things Bruce didn't know about him. He explained what had happened, how his arc reactor had been poisoning him. Bruce listened with sympathy and dismay as Tony described how it'd felt to have his body grow toxic, with nothing he could do about it.

"It's a good thing I moved into your room today," Bruce said once Tony had finished. "Because I really feel the need to cuddle you right now."

Tony grinned. There was nothing he would have liked more.

Having Bruce slide in next to him under his covers was something Tony wanted to remember for the rest of his life. Being greeted by his warmth and his scent was one of the most soothing things Tony had ever experienced. He already felt his eyelids growing heavy. This was what he'd been missing these last few nights. This was what he needed.

Bruce smiled sleepily at Tony. "Goodnight," he said. Tony kissed him in response.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Tony."

The next morning, Tony found that he'd somehow ended up spooning Bruce in his sleep. He had no problem with that. He nuzzled his face happily into the back of Bruce's neck, mussing the other man's curls.

"Mmn!" Bruce said, being brought into consciousness. "Tickles!" he said.

"Good," Tony grinned, doing it again and making Bruce yelp. He turned around to face his attacker. Tony's defenses were useless against Bruce's adorable, cross stare.

"No," the physicist said firmly, although Tony couldn't help finding him more cute than commanding. It was affective all the same though.

"'Kay. Darling. Good morning."

Bruce smiled. "It is, isn't it? The best morning."

"Can we just lay here?" Tony asked.

"I wouldn't argue against it," Bruce smiled.

They ended up dozing off again, holding each other.

They woke up for the second time to JARVIS's voice.

"Gentlemen, Ms. Potts is requesting entrance to the penthouse."

Tony glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was after 10:00.

"Holy cow, we slept late. When did she get here?" Tony asked, as Bruce sat up and put his glasses on.

"Five minutes ago," JARVIS responded.

"That's weird," Bruce said. "She was planning on being here much earlier. I wonder what held her up."

The two men dressed (both looking away, although Tony wouldn't have minded if Bruce had looked,) and went out into the penthouse to greet Pepper and see what was up.

"Hi guys," she said, looking stressed and holding a stack of magazines.

"Hey Pep, sorry you had to wait. I thought you were going to be here sooner though." Tony said to her.

Pepper sighed, looking Bruce and Tony over. "You both look so happy," she said. "I don't want to spoil it."

Bruce frowned. "What do you mean, what could spoil it?"

"Yeah, Pepper. Did something happen?" Tony asked, sounding just as worried as Bruce felt.

"Well…" she spread the magazines face up across the bar. Bold type and glossy images stared up at them. "I'm really sorry you guys, I know you wanted to avoid this…"

"Wha-?" Tony spluttered.

"Something more at Avenger's Tower?" Bruce read.

"That's us!" Tony blurted. "That's us at the store!"

"Man date at local grocery…" Bruce read another headline.

"How did they get these picture?" Tony demanded.

"They're from the security cameras. That's what I spent this morning doing, trying to track down whoever sold these pictures to the gossip rags. He's been fired, but if you want to sue then we can pursue that as well," Pepper said sympathetically.

Bruce and Tony stared at the images that had been captured of them and the interpretation that had been made of them. They were both shocked to see how obvious the pictures seemed. They had thought that they'd done enough to seem platonic, but these pictures told a different tale.

"Do I…do I really smile at you like that?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah," Tony told him. "Do I…do I always lean in so close to you?"

"I guess you do," Bruce answered. "…now that I think about it, yeah, you do…"

The pictures of Tony wrapping Bruce in a pink scarf and of the two of them standing in front of girly hair accessories, Tony gripping Bruce's shirt were the most damning of them.

"It's complete conjecture at this point," Pepper said. "The rumors will die down if we let them. Few people are going to believe Tony is actually involved with a man. There's already been a rather emphatic backlash against the claims these magazines make…"

"Backlash?" Tony said. "Where? Wait, who am I kidding, online of course," he said, pulling up a blue computer interface.

"Tony you might not want to…" Pepper began as Tony started to scan search results for his name. He ignored her, frowning deeper the more he read. He flung the interface across the room. It burst into blue light against the far wall.

"People are saying shit like that?" Tony raged. "Really? I'm being defended by fucking homophobes who can't believe that a great man like me would stoop so low?" Tony paced aggressively, waving his arms around. "And of course the homophobes who _don't_ like me aren't surprised that a godless man like me turned out to be a fag." He spat the last word out, his voice shaking with fury. He turned and stared at Pepper, a fire burning in his eyes. "And then there are my rabid fans with their ridiculous crushes, saying- saying all kinds of things! Did you know that there's some crazy woman who claims she's secretly married to me? Of all the fucking nerve!"

"Tony…" Bruce whispered, interrupting Tony's rampage. "What do you want to do?"

"I wanna-!" Tony stopped short. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He saw that Bruce was just as shaken as he was, and his anger poured away. "I wanna say I'm sorry, to you Bruce. I thought… I thought that I could have what I wanted without compromising what you wanted. But I just fucked it up."

Bruce smiled gently at his frazzled boyfriend. "You don't have to apologize, Tony. I didn't see this coming any more than you did. I thought our plan would work too. I guess we both underestimated the power of media-spin."

Tony gave Bruce a return smile. Bruce was always so nice to him, so understanding.

"So what do we do?" Tony asked. "Do we ignore it? Play it down?" he turned to Pepper, who seemed to have the best understanding of these things.

"The best thing to do would to be to ignore it completely," Pepper said. "That's what you usually do with rumors, and people get tired of them." Usually the rumors weren't true though.

"Or…" Bruce said, making Tony and Pepper turn and look at him. "Or we could tell the truth," he said.

Tony gaped at him. "What do you mean?"

Bruce shrugged. "I don't know, just…tell people. That we're together."

Tony's eyes widened. "I thought you didn't want that though!"

Bruce looked away, frowning thoughtfully. "I _thought _that I didn't, but…running around that store with you made me realize…I like that you're mine. I'm proud that you're mine. I don't want to hide that because I'm afraid of what other people will think. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone who isn't afraid…"

Elation lit up inside of Tony. He wanted to cheer. He grabbed Bruce in a bear hug and _spun him around._

"Woah!"

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you!" Tony said, setting Bruce down and kissing him.

Once Bruce got over his surprise, he regained himself. "So, uh…how are we going to do this?" he asked.

Tony thought about that. "Well, usually when I have big news I call a press conference, but I'm not sure that's right for this situation."

"About that," Pepper spoke up. "There's actually a crowd of gossip reporters gathered outside the front of the building right now."

Tony blinked. "That'll work." He looked at Bruce. "You sure you want to do this?"

Bruce smiled. His heart was pounding in his chest, yet to his utter amazement, it wasn't out of fear. He was excited.

"Come on," he said, leading Tony to the elevator.

The three of them rode down to the bottom floor in silence, a sense of importance falling over their little mission. They stepped out of the lobby and were greeted by twenty or so reporters, cameras at the ready, hurling questions at them. They chattered and clamored and competed for attention, yet it didn't phase Tony. He was used to it. Eventually one of them with an actual video camera made their way to the front of the crowd.

"Tony! Are the rumors true?" he asked, pointing the camera at him. The collective voice of the crowd rose in volume, urging him to answer the question.

Tony looked at Bruce, who was standing a few feet away from him, managing to maintain a brave calm despite all the stimulation. Bruce looked back at him, brown eyes meeting brown eyes, and in that moment the whole world disappeared. Who cared about the screaming reporters? The angry fans? The indignant homophobes? The grocery store security guard who probably needed the extra cash anyway? All that mattered was Bruce and Tony.

They grinned at each other. When had they learned to communicate silently? All it took was one look and they knew they both had the same idea.

Without saying a word, Tony grabbed Bruce, pulled him against him, and kissed him full on the lips for all the world to see.

The crowd erupted into exited gasps as pictures were snapped and exclamations released.

Neither of them heard any of it. Bruce wrapped his arms around Tony, kissing him back. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he didn't care, not as long as Tony was there. He felt the bright morning sun against his skin and felt the thrill of kissing Tony by the unfettered light of day.

Their embrace was long and gentle and passionate, smoking with the pure intensity of what they felt for each other. The crowd had fallen silent by the time they pulled apart, smiling dreamily.

Tony leaned against Bruce, one arm slung over his shoulder, and turned back to the video camera.

"Yup," he said simply, flashing a grin and a peace sign. Bruce laughed. Tony took Bruce's hand and walked back into the building, a beaming Pepper following after them.

"Oh my god!" Bruce exclaimed once they were back in the elevator. "What did I just do?" he laughed. "I've never done anything like that!"

Tony smiled. "I have. It's fun, isn't it?"

"Why am I not freaking out?" Bruce asked. "I should be freaking out. I should be panicking. Tony, why am I not panicking?"

"Maybe because you're happy?" Tony suggested. Bruce stopped in his rambling and beamed at him.

"I am. I'm so happy."

"Come here!" Pepper said, opening her arms and enveloping the two of them in a hug. "I love my boys," she said.

They went back up to the penthouse and ate a late breakfast in front of the TV, watching their kissing scene get played over and over again on different stations.

"Christ, we're sexy," Tony said.

"Yeah," Bruce agreed. Tony laughed that he'd gotten Bruce to admit to that. Clearly the man was in a dazed state. He had a permanent grin glued to his face. "Tony?" Bruce said.

"Yes, darling?"

"I feel…different. The Hulk, he's…I can feel him. Really feel him. He wants to come out, I feel like I could shift right now if I wanted, but I'm not angry. He's not angry. He's just…there."

Tony was delighted. That sounded like major progress.

Pepper said goodbye, taking the designs with her, and the two men decided that a trip to the green room would be a good idea, to explore this new state Bruce was experiencing.

Just before they were about to step into the elevator how ever, JARVIS informed them of an incoming phone call.

"Who is it?" Tony asked.

"Director Fury, sir," JARVIS replied.

Tony groaned. "What does _he_ want? Patch him through, JARVIS."

"Right away sir…"

"Stark," came Fury's voice over the same speakers that JARVIS spoke through.

"Banner's here too," Tony said. "What's this about?"

"I've just been informed of some very interesting footage being displayed across every single so called 'news channel' in the western hemisphere. Care to explain?"

"What's there to explain? The footage speaks for itself," Tony said.

The line was silent for a moment.

"…So I am to believe that you and Dr. Banner have honestly entered into an intimate relationship with one another?" Fury spoke levelly.

"Yup," Tony said. Bruce was blushing too hard to speak.

"Don't get me wrong," Fury began. "I have no issue with this on a personal level. But professionally, this causes problems for me."

"How so?" Tony asked, sounding annoyed.

"Don't think I wasn't paying close attention to your little plan to move Banner in with you, Stark. It never would have happened if I hadn't decided it was in SHEILD's best interest. Despite what I may think of you, I trusted you to keep a close eye on the Hulk situation. Now, you're compromised."

Tony flustered angrily. "What are you saying? That you were using me as your own personal Hulk babysitter?"

"More or less," Fury answered shamelessly.

"Well that's insulting to the both of us!" Tony said. "Almost as insulting as the idea that our relationship somehow increases the Hulk as a threat. None of us need babysitting here."

"I disagree. I am sorry, Stark. You too, Banner. But I simply can't allow such a potentially dangerous threat as the Hulk to go unmonitored. I can't trust you to put the safety of others before Dr. Banner anymore, Stark."

"What are you saying?" Bruce asked, finally speaking up.

"I'm saying that Rogers, Romanoff and Barton will be there within the hour. They'll be staying at Avenger's Tower and keeping an eye on you two."

"What?" Tony yelled. "No! No!"

"My mind's made up. Goodbye gentlemen," Fury said, hanging up.

Tony swore. "Damnit. We were doing just fine! We'd just made progress with the Hulk, and now we have to put off investigating it because those morons think they have to help! They'll just get in the way!"

Tony stopped his rampage when he noticed Bruce smiling, his eyes unfocused. "What?" Tony asked.

"I'm so relieved…" Bruce breathed, completely throwing Tony for a loop.

"Huh?"

Bruce turned to look at Tony, his relief indeed very evident.

"I thought he was going to take me away. But he's letting me stay here. With you."

Tony's perspective shifted. He hadn't even considered that. That in mind, he supposed that he should be thankful too. After all, what did the SHIELD lackies matter? They'd be a nuisance, but they could handle it. They could do anything as long as they were together.

All that mattered was Bruce and Tony.

* * *

So! Hopefully you're pleased. Please review.


	15. I'll Be There

The three Avengers entered the penthouse and were greeted by the sight of the two scientists on the sofa. Bruce was looking mild and amiable as he usually did, Tony was sitting with his arms and legs crossed and a death glare on his face.

"You can't actually make us burst into flame with your stare, Stark," Clint smirked.

"Bruce, remind me to develop stare-triggered flame technology," was Tony's response.

Clint and Natasha both seemed to be holding back looks of amusement, although Natasha somehow managed to look amused and bored at the same time. Steve, however, well…Steve was alternating between staring at the floor, flicking his gaze up at the scientists, blushing, and looking back to his shoes.

"Something to share with the class, Rogers?" Tony snapped.

Steve met his eyes and went red. "I just…I…I don't understand," he stammered.

"I think we're all a little surprised," Natasha offered.

Tony glared at them harder. "Well I don't care."

"I thought you were a womanizer!" Steve blurted, bringing the attention back to him. Bruce chuckled softly. Steve's gaze darted to the milder scientist.

"I'm sure you're confused, Steve," Bruce said kindly. "In your day homosexuality wasn't talked about much, am I right?"

Steve nodded his head.

"Well, there are still plenty of people today who think it's wrong, but there's also a significant amount now who don't. It's more accepted. There's also this thing called bisexual, which is what Tony and I are. Tony likes women. He also likes me."

Tony raised an eyebrow at Bruce. Why bother explaining things to the overgrown Ken doll? He supposed Bruce was just good natured like that.

"Oh…" Steve said. "So…I'm sorry, I think I understand what you're saying, but it still makes me uncomfortable," the soldier admitted.

Tony was about to say something when Bruce clamped a hand over his mouth, much to the amusement of the two spies.

"That's okay, Steve. You're welcome to that response."

Steve nodded gratefully at Bruce.

Tony frowned at Bruce with the upper half of his face, his lower half covered by Bruce's hand. Bruce released him.

"Was that really necessary?" Tony asked.

"I thought it was funny," Clint said.

"No one cares what you think, Katniss!" Tony said. Clint yawned in response to the insult. Perhaps Natasha had been giving him lessons in boredom.

"You don't have to respond to everything with such hostility, Tony," Bruce told his boyfriend.

Tony furrowed his brow unhappily. "How else am I suppose to respond?" he directed his attention at the other Avengers. "You people come into _my_ house, claiming that I can't be trusted to handle _my _relationship, planning to spy on _my_ boyfriend, and I'm supposed to just smile and nod?"

"That's what Bruce is doing," Natasha pointed out.

"Bruce is a sweet, darling man who's too good for this world," Tony countered, making Bruce look away with a blush. "And he deserves more than this," Tony went on. "We don't need a babysitter! Let alone three! Isn't that a bit of over kill? Do SHEILD's top agents really have nothing better to do?"

"I'm not an agent," Steve mumbled.

"All due respect," Natasha said. "But I think you've forgotten that there's more going on here than your little love nest with your _boyfriend._ The people of this city deserve protection from the Hulk."

That really got Tony.

"They don't _need_ protecting! We're working on it! If any of you people had bothered to ask, I'd have had you know that we've been making _major_ progress with the Hulk! The nature of my relationship with Bruce doesn't change my ability to do that!"

Natasha looked skeptical and Clint smirked. "As far as I can tell, for a man who has to avoid all forms of aggravation, dating you sounds like the worst idea ever."

"We're careful!" Tony protested. "We have a safe-word!"

Steve looked confused while the spies gave Tony a disturbed look.

"Stark…over share," Clint said.

"Huh?" Tony asked, confused. "Wait- no! Not a kinky sex safe-word!" he said once he'd realized what they thought he'd meant. "Although…" he glanced at Bruce. "Can we-"

"No," Bruce responded firmly. Tony pouted.

"Back to the point," Natasha interrupted them. "You can relax, Stark. If we assess that you and Bruce really are fine on your own, and that the Hulk threat is being properly contained, then we'll report back to Fury and he'll pull us out."

Tony blinked. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Natasha said. "None of us want to be here permanently."

"Well good, we don't want you here permanently."

"Seriously Tony," Bruce said warningly.

"Well we don't!"

"Doesn't mean you should be rude about it, they're just doing they're jobs."

"We're adults, we shouldn't be somebody's _job,_" Tony persisted.

"Tony. Just play nice. I don't like seeing you irritated," Bruce said, his meaning clear. Tony being irritated irritated Bruce. And Bruce wasn't supposed to be irritated. Tony's agitation receded when he remembered that, despite these unwelcome guests in his home, he was still with Bruce. That calmed him down considerably. He gave Bruce a swift kiss on the lips, making Steve stammer and stutter.

"Alright," he said, standing from the sofa. "Because the glowing love of my life deems it so, I'm going to be nice to you people. There are guest quarters you can stay in five floors down. Don't expect me to help you unpack." He glanced down at Bruce and held a hand out to him. "In the mean time, I'm guessing green room?"

Bruce nodded and took the offered hand, standing.

"Green room?" Natasha asked, with a raised eyebrow. "Are you referring to the containment room you had built?"

"Yes," Bruce told them.

"Are you angry?" Steve asked, sounding alarmed and mildly apologetic.

Bruce shook his head. "Actually I feel fine. Before we got the call that you were coming though, I felt the urge to transform anyway."

"What do you mean?" Clint asked.

Bruce shrugged. "I don't know…it's not like I'm struggling to control it or anything, I just sort of…want to." Bruce could hardly believe what he was saying, but it was true.

"You _want_ to turn into the Hulk?" Steve asked in disbelief.

"I told you, we've been working on things," Tony said smugly.

"I don't see how that's an improvement!" Steve exclaimed. "I thought the point was to _not_ transform into the Hulk!"

Tony scoffed. "Fine," he sighed. "I guess you guys are just going to have to see for yourselves."

The three Avengers exchanged shifty glances.

"Hang on a sec," Bruce said. "I'm just going to change my clothes."

Soon they were on the green room floor, Steve, Clint, and Natasha standing in front of the holo-screen displaying the inside of the room.

"Once these doors close you can't get in," Tony warned them. "So don't even try."

"You're going to do this without armor?" Natasha asked.

"I don't need the armor. You'll see, just watch," Tony said confidently. Bruce flashed them a shy smile before following Tony into the room, the doors sliding shut behind them.

"They're crazy, aren't they?" Clint said, watching the two now on the screen.

Bruce pulled the t-shirt he'd put on over his head and tossed it aside. He was wearing a ratty pair of old pajama pants.

"You know, I should really get more pants that I can tear apart," Bruce said thoughtfully to Tony. "I'm going to run out soon."

"We should develop a fabric that can stretch to withstand you," Tony said. "Now that I'm done with Pepper's designs we can get started on it."

Bruce smiled. "Okay. But back to the task at hand…we should be scientific about this. This is an experiment in its own right."

Tony agreed. "Describe how you're feeling right now."

Bruce thought on it. "Exhilarated. Energetic. Like I just want to jump out of my skin. It's not unbearable though. He's not taking me over, he's just…present. In my mind. Usually he's this sort of…dull area in my chest or the pit of my stomach. But now he's buzzing around my brain. He's not angry he's just…excited. Sort of agitated, but not in a negative way. I've never sensed him like this before. It's like I'm getting to actually meet the Hulk that I watched footage of you with."

"And this started?" Tony questioned.

"When you kissed me on TV…" Bruce said, blushing, knowing the others were listening.

Tony nodded. "This fits with our current theory that improving your condition and your feelings of acceptance are directly related."

Tony looked at one of the cameras, knowing that he was making eye contact with the other Avengers. "Basically, the happier he is, the tamer the Hulk gets."

He turned back to Bruce. "Okay shirtless, I think it's time for this transformation to happen. Try to talk through it if you can."

Bruce nodded. "This is so weird…I've never transformed while I wasn't angry or in danger before. I mean, last time I made myself angry so that I could, but this time…hang on a second, let me concentrate." Bruce scrunched up his face, opening himself up to the Hulk, inviting him to come through.

The feelings roiling inside of him were so bizarre and difficult to pinpoint.

"Anticipation…he's anxious," Bruce said.

"About what?" Tony asked.

"He wants to see you. He's getting impatient. God, I feel sick," Bruce said, doubling over. Tony went over and put a concerned hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing…I'm just so uncomfortable. Usually it's agony. This time it's just…ugh, my skin is crawling, it won't stop." Bruce stood abruptly and walked away from Tony's comforting touch, leaving Tony's hand feeling cold in the empty room.

"Bruce?" Tony asked as his boyfriend paced the room.

"Nnnnngh," Bruce moaned, facing away from Tony. "Oh this is awful. This is truly awful. I'm going to throw up," Bruce said, pulling at his hair.

"Why do you always attack the hair?" Tony complained.

Bruce stopped and looked down at his hands. They were turning green.

"No!" he cried suddenly, a panic filling him at the sight. "No, I don't want to go!" Hearing the fear in his voice, Tony rushed over and put his arms around him. Bruce struggled in his embrace. "No, Tony! Don't let me go, I don't want to go!"

"Shh, shh, Darling, you're panicking. This is just panic. Everything's going to be okay."

"No! No it won't!" Bruce protested deliriously as green crept up his body, his muscles bulging and his bones lengthening. A fever had fogged up his mind, and he was no longer fully aware of what he was saying. All he could feel was a sudden irrational fear enveloping him. "He's going to take me over!"

"He'll give you back," Tony promised, placing a kiss in Bruce's hair.

"I don't want to be him, Tony! I don't! Don't make me be him, I don't want to be him!"

Bruce slumped to the floor and Tony went with him, never letting go.

"I'm not angry!" Bruce screamed, sounding terrified. "I'm not angry, why is this happening? This shouldn't be happening!"

Tony stroked his green skin and whispered to him and tried to do anything he could to calm the man down. Bruce had grown over a foot taller at his point. He was rocking back and forth, sobbing.

"I'm not him, I'm not him, I'm not him."

Tony didn't know how things had deteriorated so quickly. One moment Bruce had been saying he was exhilarated, the next, he was having another panic attack. Yet this one seemed to have been triggered by something Bruce was truly terrified of. Tony swallowed. This was not going as well as he'd thought it would. He resisted the urge to glance at the camera, knowing full well what their babysitters must be thinking.

Bruce's cries had died down and changed to harsh, heavy breathing. He was looking more Hulk than Bruce at this point.

"No…" he moaned one final time, before the transformation was completed before their eyes, the Hulk growing to his full capacity.

The Avengers on the other side of the wall tensed, preparing for what was to come. What they were to witness next was definitely not what they'd been expecting.

The Hulk blinked his eyes opened, focused on Tony, and smiled wide.

"Iron!" he exclaimed.

Tony grinned. As difficult as it'd been watching Bruce go through that, he was happy to see the Hulk again.

"Big Guy!"

To Tony's complete joy, the Hulk threw his arms open.

"Hug!" he said.

"You remembered?" Tony said, throwing his arms around the Big Guy.

"Hulk remember. Hulk like hug." When Tony drew back the Hulk laughed. "Iron hug Puny with mouth."

Tony blushed. He couldn't help it. He went bright red. It was like a toddler asking their dad why they'd been "wrestling" with mommy after walking in on them.

"Um, right, well…that's something that I only do with Br- Puny. You remember that happening?"

Hulk nodded. "Why only Puny?" he asked before Tony could investigate more into the shared memory.

"Because…" Here he was again, having to explain love to the Hulk. "Well, the 'mouth hug' is called a kiss, and kissing is how people express a very specific kind of love. A love I feel only for…Puny."

The Hulk looked stupefied. "Iron love Puny?" he asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

Tony chuckled a little nervously. "Yes. I do. I love him just as much as I love you, but in a different way. You get hugs, he gets kisses. Do you understand?" Tony asked hopefully.

The Hulk nodded, but he frowned. "So puny…" he said, like a mother disapproving of her teenage daughter's taste.

Tony shrugged. "I kinda like that about him. But let's not talk about him, I'm here to see you, Big Guy. How are you?"

"Hulk good," the Hulk said, smiling. "Hulk want smash, but no want break room. Iron like room."

"That's right, I do. You're learning," he said, glancing pointedly up at the cameras as he said the last word. "So, what do you want to do today? Want to play another game?" Tony asked.

"Patty-cake!" Hulk cheered excitedly.

Tony laughed. "Yeah, we could play that again, or I could teach you a new game."

"New game?" the Hulk inquired curiously.

"Yeah, this one is kind of hard though, so if you want to stick with patty-cake then I understand."

Hulk scrunched his face up thoughtfully. "Hulk try hard game," he decided.

"Okay," Tony grinned, proud of him for rising to the challenge. "Hulk, do you know the alphabet?" This was another thing that Bruce and Tony had talked about finding out about the Hulk. Did he speak what little English he knew instinctively, or did he actually understand some of the concepts behind it?

Hulk grinned. "Twinkle star!" he said, and broke out into the Alphabet song to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Tony couldn't have been more delighted.

"Okay!" he said. "Well in this game, we pick a category- you know what a category is right?" Tony checked.

"Plant, animal, mineral," Hulk said. Tony laughed. He suspected the Hulk was accessing old charades memories of Bruce's.

"Perfect. Well in this game, I say something that fits into our category and starts with the first letter of the alphabet-"

"A!"

"Yes, right, and then you, quick as you can, say something else that starts with the next letter-"

"B!"

Tony laughed. "Okay, want to give it a try?"

The Hulk nodded enthusiastically.

"What should our category be?" Tony asked.

"Animal," the Hulk decided without needing any consideration.

"Okay, you go first," Tony grinned.

"Antelope!"

"Bear!" Tony shouted back, trying not to get distracted wondering how the Hulk knew about antelopes.

"Cat!"

"Dog!"

"El'phant!"

"Ferret!"

"G'raffe!"

"Uh, horse!" Tony said.

"Iguana!"

"J-jaguar," Tony was thrown off again that the Hulk was doing so well.

"Kang'roo!" the Hulk said happily.

"…lizard!"

"Monkeys!"

"N-…n…?" Tony was at a lost. "Hulk, can you think of an animal that starts with 'N?'" he asked.

The Hulk smirked triumphantly. "Newt," he said. Tony smacked his forehead. He should have thought of that. "Narwhale," the Hulk went on, showing off. "Nightingale…that sing song birdie," he explained to Tony.

"Hulk, how do you know about so many animals?" Tony asked.

The Hulk thought about it. "Puny read books. Hulk like pictures. Animals nice."

"Do you remember everything that 'Puny' does?" Tony asked, still not liking that he had to call Bruce that in the Hulk's presence.

The Hulk snorted. "No. Puny boring."

"So you only remember the things he does that you think are interesting?"

The Hulk shrugged. "Sometime. Sometime Hulk see things Hulk no want see. Bad things. Then Hulk smash."

Tony would have asked if he meant things like Christmas, but he didn't want to reveal that when the other Avengers could hear.

"Do you want to play a game of patty-cake now?" Tony asked, feeling it was time to change the subject. The Hulk cheered his approval.

They'd played three rounds of patty-cake by the time Tony concluded it was time to bring Bruce back. The problem was, the Hulk had been happy the whole time, so what was supposed to trigger the transformation?

"Hey Hulkie," Tony said. "I've had a lot of fun with you, but I was wondering if you would let Puny come back now." He tried to keep the worry out of his voice. It was vastly important that the Hulk go along with this.

The Hulk looked at Tony, appearing mildly sulky.

"Bruce," he said, surprising Tony.

"Uh, yeah…that is his name, isn't it?"

The Hulk nodded.

"Iron love Bruce," he said.

Tony gave the Hulk a little smile.

"I do," Tony agreed, his voice soft.

"Bruce love Iron. Hulk love Iron. Hulk no like Pu- Bruce…Hulk maybe feel bad," the Hulk admitted. Tony was amazed by the Big Guy's insight and honesty.

"I think that you'd like him if you gave him a chance," Tony said. "Then we could be a big happy family that all loved each other, and you wouldn't have to feel bad. Wouldn't that be nice?"

The Hulk nodded reluctantly. He gave Tony a loving look, a look that made it clear he was doing this for Tony and for that reason alone.

"Bye bye Iron," he said, closing his eyes.

It took an incredibly long time for him to return to Bruce, but he did eventually. There was the familiar sight of Tony's love, bare but for a pair of stretched and torn pants.

Bruce opened his eyes and groaned.

"I feel like shit," he said.

Tony fell to his knees beside Bruce and kissed him, their lips soft and warm and melding together.

"Mmm…what was that for?" Bruce asked.

"That was for me being utterly in love with you, and so glad you're back," Tony whispered.

"Didn't have fun with Big Green?" Bruce asked.

"No, I did…" Tony mumbled into Bruce's hair. "But I missed you."

A tear started to form in the corner of Bruce's eye. "That transformation…was really rough, Tony. Really rough. I feel sick, and shaken, in a way that I never have before and I don't know why."

"It's okay," Tony whispered, stroking Bruce's hair. "We'll figure it out."

There was a knocking coming from the reinforced doors.

"Guess we should go talk to the babysitters…" Tony said.

"Nngh, just let them in, I just want to lay here a bit longer," Bruce moaned.

"JARVIS, you heard the man," Tony said, and the doors slid open.

Tony was amazed. There was an actual expression on Natasha's face. It was the same expression that the men on either side of her were wearing.

"Stark…Tony…" she said, seeming to be at a loss for words.

"We don't have a single fucking clue about the Hulk, do we?" Clint asked, hitting the nail on the head.

"Nope, not really," Tony said, still leaning over Bruce.

"Look," Natasha said, regaining her usually unflappable composure. "This is clearly a situation that you two have a lot better handle on than we do, and I'm going to allow you to continue down the course you've set for yourselves. That being said, I'm not convinced yet that you guys are really okay to be left on your own, so you'll be putting up with us a while longer."

She gave Tony a long look. "I'll admit that what I've seen so far seemed…positive." She turned to walk out of the room, but stopped halfway out the doors. "Patty-cake," she mumbled incredulously and shook her head, before heading off.

Clint smirked at Tony then followed her out.

Steve remained behind, standing there like a big awkward pillar.

"Yes Steve?" Bruce inquired, squinting through a headache that was forming.

"Um…" Steve looked down at his feet. "I just wanted to say that…watching you two…uh, go through that together, well…"

"Spit it out boy scout," Tony said, not too harshly though. Steve's cheeks reddened.

"I guess I just wanted to say that I see why you two have…connected. You seem to have a very strong bond. Um…you have a lot of love for each other."

Tony frowned. Was Capsicle trying to give them his approval? That was just…annoying.

Bruce grinned. "Thank you Steve, that's very nice of you to say."

Steve smiled back, looking relieved. A very, very irrational thought went through Tony, thinking that he didn't like Steve smiling at Bruce. He knew that was ridiculous though, so he quelled it.

"Okay, well…see you boys later," Steve smiled and exited the room, leaving Bruce and Tony alone together.

"Do you think you can get up?" Tony asked Bruce.

"Nnngh, yes. It doesn't sound fun though," he said, willing himself to sit up farther. Tony helped lift him to his feet.

"Come on, let's get you to your…to our room," Tony said, supporting Bruce's weight as they eased their way to the elevator.

"Mmm, okay," Bruce mumbled, out of it. He knew that he would be alright as long as Tony was there though.

And Tony would always be there.

* * *

Ahh... I feel good. I feel in control of the story again. Sorry, rambling, I hope you liked the chapter. I feel reassured in my choice to bring in more characters after this chapter. Having other people around reinforces Bruce and Tony as a _couple._ I like that. Makes it seem more real. In addition to introducing the other Avengers (who I hope I characterized well) unfortunately sans Thor, I'm also introducing the changes Bruce is starting to go through. The strict rules involving him and the Hulk are starting to change, and it won't be easy for him at first. But as we all know, Tony will be there to help him. As always, please review.


	16. I'm Uncomfortable With That

Bruce sat up.

"Seriously?" he asked when he took in his surroundings. He was in their bed, the lights down. "We took another nap?"

Tony blinked and stirred awake next to him.

"You were pretty out of it," Tony told him. "Fell right into bed," he explained.

Bruce turned up the light and winced. The headache was gone but he still felt raw and sensitive.

"Why did you freak out?" Tony asked softly, sitting up and looking at Bruce. "I thought you wanted to transform."

Bruce thought about that, the memories flooding back into him.

"I guess that's what scared me…" Bruce mumbled. Tony gave him a quizzical look. "I've spent so much time separating the two of us…trying to hold onto who I am and reject him. I don't really want those walls to come down."

"They have to though," Tony said. "He's getting better, and you said it yourself: he's a part of you. You can't keep pretending he isn't."

Bruce looked down. "But what if…? What if I'm not me anymore? What if letting him in means losing myself?"

"I can't promise you nothing will change…" Tony said, putting a comforting hand on Bruce's shoulder. "But I _can_ promise you that I will love you no matter what."

"How can you be sure of that?" Bruce asked. "What if the things you love about me disappear?"

Tony leaned forward and placed a kiss on Bruce's forehead.

"Because I don't just love you. I love loving you. There's no going back for me, Bruce. I will always love you, no matter what. Even if you hated me. Even if it killed me."

Bruce drew back, looking alarmed.

"Tony, I don't want to hear that," he said.

"It's true though," Tony said simply.

"Well it shouldn't be!" Bruce exclaimed, getting up and walking to their closet. Tony stared after him.

"Did I upset you?" he asked.

"Yes!" Bruce said as he grabbed a new pair of pants.

"…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Tony started to apologize, not really sure what he'd done wrong.

"I don't want to be destructive for you, Tony," Bruce explained, turning and facing him. Didn't Tony understand? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he ever became a burden for Tony, and there was still every likelihood that he could someday. Especially with his condition becoming unpredictable. Tony saw his last transformation as continued improvement, but Bruce had serious doubts about that. "If things get bad…if we're not good anymore… I want you to leave me."

Tony stared at him. "I'd never do that."

Unfortunately, Bruce believed him. Tony Stark was a stubborn, stubborn man, and he wasn't known for taking care of himself. Bruce fully believed that Tony would tear himself apart pursuing Bruce passed the point of no return.

"Tony, please!" Bruce begged. "I can't stand the thought of ever dragging you down with me."

"You could never drag me down…" Tony frowned. Bruce lifted him up. Bruce had lifted him up to dizzying heights.

"I could," Bruce insisted, before heading into the bathroom.

"I disagree." Tony said through the closed door, getting up from the bed. "Loving you has made me a better person, Bruce. Don't you see that?"

There was silence for a moment until the door opened, making Tony jump back. Bruce was standing there wearing the pants he'd grabbed, still shirtless.

"I know that Tony. But things change. People change. Love doesn't always last," Bruce said sadly. Sometimes it became twisted and corrupted. Sometimes it destroyed itself.

"Our love will last." Tony insisted.

"Everyone thinks that at first."

"You don't think we'll last?" Tony asked, hurt.

"I didn't _say_ that."

"Then why are you talking like this?" Tony asked in confusion. He didn't understand why Bruce would say these things unless something was wrong.

"Because I don't want us to fall apart like my parents did!" Bruce exclaimed finally, throwing his hands up in the air. "My father loved my mother once, but at a certain point they should have left each other and they didn't!"

Tony stared at Bruce.

"I'm not your father," he told him.

Bruce didn't move, but his eyes left Tony's. His silence spoke volumes.

Tony took a step towards him. "_You're_ not your father, Bruce!" he said, trying to get him to look at him again.

Bruce turned away from him and walked out of the room. Tony ran after him.

"Why are you being like this?" he asked, still in the doorway, Bruce standing in the living room. They both became aware of the fact that they weren't alone. Natasha and Steve were there.

"Hey guys…we left Clint to finish unpacking," Steve said awkwardly. It wasn't clear whether it was because Bruce had just run out of their bedroom shirtless, or because they'd just stumbled into an argument.

Tony ignored them. "Bruce!" he said insistently.

"I don't want to talk about this!" he said.

"Too bad, we're talking about it!" Tony threw back. He closed the door behind him and crossed his arms, giving Bruce a challenging stare.

"I can't promise you forever, Tony." Bruce relented, talking about it. "I want to, but I can't! I don't trust forever." He didn't have the kind of control over his life that it took to make those kinds of promises, he never had. All he could promise Tony was the here and now, and he'd done that hadn't he? Why couldn't that be enough?

"Then trust me instead!" Tony pleaded. "I _can_ promise you forever! Jesus, do you know what that means for me? I'm over four decades old and I've never once felt this way about anyone before!"

"Well I _have,_ Tony, and I ruined her life!" Bruce said, pain in his voice.

Tony froze. He didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to think about Bruce having someone else.

"Excuse me," Natasha said. "I think this conversation should end before things get green."

Tony rounded on her, glaring.

"You don't get to fucking decide that!" Tony said, making Steve flinch. "And you!" he turned back to Bruce. "Maybe all I am to you is just a sequel to your last failed relationship, but you're the One Bruce, do you get that? _My_ One! Run away from it, Hulk-out, smash something, do whatever you want, but you can't change what's in my heart. It's _my_ heart, and I'm giving it to you whether you like it or not! Non-refundable! I'm not your mom, we're not your parents, and I don't care how many people have failed you or how many people have abandoned you because I never will! Understand? I. Never. Will!"

Tony was breathing heavily by the end of his speech, his eyes boring into Bruce's, who stood stock still, motionless, staring at him.

"Are you listening, God damn it?" Tony huffed.

Bruce's knees gave out, and he wilted onto the sofa. "Damn it Tony…" he whispered. "Damn it, why do you have to be so…" he shook his head, running his hands over his face and into his hair.

"What?" Tony demanded. "What the hell is so wrong with me?"

"You give me hope," Bruce said. "No one's ever given me hope before. I don't know what to do with it. It scares me. I can't handle it."

Tony fell silent. Hope. That was a good thing, wasn't it? Did that mean he really was important to Bruce? Not just a sequel?

"Can I say something?" It was Clint. Neither Tony or Bruce had noticed him arriving in the penthouse, but he'd apparently been standing there for a while now.

Tony looked at him, for once unable to form a snappy rebuke.

"Bruce loves you," he said, taking their silence as permission. "Don't worry about that. He loves you, just as much as you love him. It's obvious to anyone who looks at you two." Bruce lifted his head to look at Clint while Tony listened closely to the unusually personal view the archer was sharing. "Do you know how people learn to love?" Clint asked. He waited a moment before answering his own question. "They learn by loving their parents." Clint looked at Bruce. "I don't know what your background is Bruce, but it doesn't sound good. I don't think you got the chance to experience real love when you needed to." Clint glanced briefly at Natasha before continuing. "Love makes you vulnerable. Love is invasive. When someone loves you, they work their way inside of you, and if you're used to being alone…your first impulse can be to reject them. But you're not in danger because Tony loves you Bruce, you're safe. Safer than you've ever been before. And so is he. He's fucking Iron Man, he can look after himself."

Clint looked around the room.

"We're a bunch of superheroes," he said. "We saved the world. Why are we so afraid of each other?" he asked. He turned and headed to the elevator, but stopped in front of it and looked back. "By the way, as much as that obviously applied to myself," he said, looking straight at Natasha. "I really did mean it for you guys too. Seriously. It's not the end of the world to just let somebody in for once."

With that he got onto the elevator and left.

Natasha's face was drawn into the slightest frown, but on her even the smallest expressions were significant. Not a single person missed the meaning behind Clint's words.

"Are you going to go after him?" Steve asked.

"No," she said decidedly. "We have a job to do. We monitor these two. Make sure nothing gets smashed. Don't forget that Rogers."

"I'm not likely to forget my mission, Ms. Romanoff," Steve said a bit stiffly, reminding her that he was, after all, a soldier.

Once he'd recovered from Hawkeye's deep articulation, Tony went over and crouched beside Bruce. "Say something to me," he whispered.

"I'm…sorry," Bruce said. "I just forgot everything for a moment. I forgot that I trust you, and that you deserve someone who isn't afraid. I just…"

_Do I deserve to be happy?_ There it was again. That haunting question. But perhaps now there was an even more important question looming over him…

_Do I even know how?_

"Tony, how can I let you love me when I hate myself?" Bruce whispered to him, not wanting the others to hear. It occurred to him that he must truly trust Tony, if he was willing to say something like that to him.

Tony looked sadly at Bruce. He knew there was nothing he could do to make Bruce feel differently about himself, as much as he wished he could. He felt himself once again raging against the people in Bruce's life who had done this to him. He wanted to find each bruise and cut across Bruce's soul and personally kiss it better.

"Consider it a personal favor to me," Tony said softly. "You're simply indulging me in one of my many desires. You wouldn't want me to throw a rich-boy tantrum, would you?" Tony asked, giving him a small smile.

Bruce gave him the smallest smile back. "No…" he agreed.

"Good," Tony said, lifting Bruce's hand to his lips. "You better let me love you then," he said, kissing a rough knuckle. "Just be patient with yourself, Bruce. We don't need to rush anything. Not a single thing. One step at a time, okay? Sometimes no steps at all, if you want. We can just stand around like big awkward Captain Americas. I'm fine with that."

Tony smiled up at Bruce and Bruce couldn't help but smile weakly back.

"Okay…" Bruce said, unbelievably thankful once again for Tony's generosity. There was something eating away at him though, something he needed to get off his chest before he could let the situation resolve itself.

"I don't know how to love you unconditionally, Tony," he confessed. "The conditions aren't on you, though, they're on me. I love you but… I can't rely on myself to promise you anything more than that." It pained him to admit it. It had pained him to know that Tony had no such hesitations. Why was Tony able to simply give himself away? And why was he unable?

Tony smiled weakly at him. "I understand, Bruce, and I don't take it personally. I know… I know that you care about me-"

"_Love_ you," Bruce interrupted. "Please don't ever think otherwise, Tony. You have no idea how much you mean to me, how much you've changed my life, I just… I just haven't caught up to all these changes yet."

"You caught up enough to make-out with me on television," Tony reminded him.

Bruce laughed. "No, Tony. _That's_ what I have to catch up to."

Tony understood.

"Alright," he said. " I can live with that. All that matters is that you're here with me now in this moment. That's all I need."

And he would need it the next moment too. And the moment after that and the moment after that. Every moment on into infinity. But if he had to keep that information to himself, well, he was more than willing to do that.

"No more talking about the big scary future."

Bruce smiled and nodded. "I uh… I need to go put a shirt on," he said.

They got up and Tony looked at Natasha. She and Steve had simply been standing there on the other side of the penthouse, waiting while he and Bruce whispered to each other.

"We're fine here," he said to her. "Go find your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," she said plainly.

"Well why the hell not?" Tony asked. She frowned at him.

"Come on," Steve said to her. "I've got this," he said, meaning babysitting duty.

That was the moment they all quite possibly, maybe perhaps witnessed Natasha Romanoff cave to peer pressure.

"Fine," she said, sounding annoyed, and headed for the elevator.

Bruce gave Tony's hand a squeeze and left to go put on a shirt. That's how Tony found himself alone with Steve.

"Spangles," he greeted.

"Stark…"

"Well don't just stand there, it's weirding me out," Tony said stiffly. Steve came and joined him in the living area, looking immensely awkward about it. Tony sat down on one sofa and Steve sat down on the other.

"Afraid you'll catch my cooties?" Tony asked.

"I, uh, what?" Steve responded.

"I'm not going to kiss you, if that's what you're afraid of. Ew."

Steve reddened. "No! I didn't… I never… the thought didn't even-"

"Then why do you keep staring at me like I'm going to explode at any second?" Tony asked. Steve had been acting nervous and jittery since he'd shown up, which wasn't really like the Captain. He was commanding and self righteous and annoying. Not jittery.

At first it'd clearly been the bi thing weirding him out, but he'd given them his awkward little blessing earlier, so Tony really wasn't sure at this point what had crawled up his ass.

"It's just that…"

"Yes?"

"I thought you were… I don't know, I didn't know you were like this."

Tony looked at him sideways.

"Like what?"

"…selfless," Steve said after a long pause.

Tony laughed. "What did you just call me?"

"Selfless. The things you said to Bruce…what you're willing to do for him…what you said, it was…well frankly it was beautiful. I'm not sure I've ever seen that sort of devotion before."

That made Tony distinctly uncomfortable. He didn't want Capsicle praising him. That was just…weird.

"You do realize that I willingly sacrificed myself to the freezing void of space and a terrifying fall to my certain death out of concern for others, right? You still thought I was a selfish dickwad after that?"

Steve looked properly abashed.

_Ah yes,_ Tony thought. _Nothing like a good guilt trip. All is right with the world._

Bruce came back in, fully clothed, freeing Steve from Tony's grasp.

"Hey, so…" he trailed off, looking at Steve. "Sorry about that," he said bashfully. "I didn't mean to get so dramatic earlier…"

"Perfectly fine," Steve said. "We may have been ordered here, but this is still your home."

"Damn skippy, it is," Tony said.

Bruce smiled at his boyfriend and sat down beside him. Tony returned the smile and put his arm around Bruce's shoulders. Bruce very much wanted to snuggle against him, but wasn't sure how he felt about public displays of affection, and with Steve there that counted as public in his mind.

Tony, however, was sorely tempted to make out with Bruce then and there just to make the Captain uncomfortable. He knew he would get in trouble with Bruce for that though, so he decided to be more subtle about it.

"So what are we doing with the rest of the day?" Bruce asked Tony. "We could work on those stretchy pants you were talking about."

"You know, I was thinking about it…" Tony said, gazing soulfully into Bruce's eyes. "And I think that you should just skip the pants altogether."

Watching Steve and Bruce's twin blushes filled Tony with a mischievous delight.

"Tony, we've talked about this, naked Bruce means naked Hulk."

Tony shrugged. "The Hulk and I are buddies now, what's a little nudity between buddies? I could get naked too, just for comradery's sake."

"Tony, that's weird!" Bruce told him.

"In fact," Tony ignored him, hopping up from the sofa and grabbing Bruce's hands. "Why even wait for the green room?" he asked, eyes sparkling. "We can get naked right now."

Steve let out a choked gasp.

"Tony…" Bruce said reproachfully.

Tony decided that he was throwing out his "subtle" plan. He was having far too much fun. He had his shirt halfway off when the elevator doors opened.

"Oh," he said, looking at the spies.

"Hey guys. We're getting naked."

"No we're not!" Bruce protested.

Natasha rolled her eyes and stalked over to the kitchen. "What is there to eat around here?" she asked, opening the fridge. Tony looked at Clint and mouthed "what happened?" The archer gave him no response.

"Put your shirt back on, Stark," was as much of a reply as Tony got. Pouting, he adjusted the cloth back over his body.

"Man can't even get naked in his own home, what's the world coming to…" he mumbled. "And get out of my fridge, Romanoff! I didn't agree to feed you people!"

She looked at him with one arched eyebrow and went back to foraging.

"Tony, I know you didn't invite them here, but can't you be a little more hospitable?" Bruce asked.

"No," Tony said decidedly.

"What happened to all the generosity you showed me?" Bruce inquired further.

"That's because I was head over heals in love with you!" Tony exclaimed. It was clearly not the same thing at all.

Bruce blushed. It made his heart speed up to have Tony just announce that to the whole room. Bruce's instinct was generally to keep things private, but he found himself really liking the way Tony just shared everything with the world.

"Get a room you two," Clint said, flopping onto the sofa next to Steve.

"Kay fine," Tony said, sitting back down next to Bruce. "I pick this room, the rest of you go get another," he said, reaching for Bruce. Bruce swatted him away.

Tony groaned. "I am not going to get _any_ while you people are around, am I?"

Well…maybe Bruce didn't like _everything_ Tony chose to share with the world.

"Tony, that's hardly appropriate to talk about right now," Bruce said.

"We are going to have sex at some point though, right?" Tony asked.

The focus of everyone else in the room was suddenly back on them.

"Tony!" Bruce exclaimed, pulling away from him on the couch. "What the hell happened to 'one step at a time?'" he asked, eyes wide.

"Well, I don't know!" Tony said back. "I just thought it might be good to check! I didn't know if that's what you wanted or not!"

"Of course I-" Bruce remembered the other people in the room. "We are _not_ talking about this right now!" he hissed.

"Okay…" Tony said. "But just to make sure," he piped back up almost immediately. "This isn't a 'uncertain about the future' thing, right? I mean, you must know whether you want sex or not-"

"Tony!" Bruce said. "You're _still_ talking about it!" He was acutely aware of Clint and Natasha watching them with blank interest, and Steve with barely contained horror.

"It's okay if you don't," Tony said. "I mean, I'd be disappointed of course, because I personally wanna ride you like a rodeo horse, but if you're not comfortable then I understand-"

Tony kept talking but Bruce stopped hearing. Had Tony actually just expressed a willingness to defer to Bruce's _discomfort?_ While he was doing _this_ to him? He couldn't shut his motor mouth for one second and think about how _embarrassing_ this was? God, Bruce didn't know if that was inconsiderate or just dimwitted! He would give anything to just clamp Tony's mouth shut, tear those staring eyes off of him-

"-lack of experience, doesn't worry me though, I could figure it out. Definitely. Oh my yes. I mean, isn't that what the internet's for anyway? We could-"

"Gamma."

The three Hulk-sitting Avengers had watched the tension between them build until that point. As Tony had rambled on and on, and Bruce had grown more and more displeased, they each had felt the situation snowballing out of control.

Until it just stopped. They couldn't believe it. Tony just stopped talking. Tony Stark had _stopped talking._

They were all still, observing as Bruce glared at Tony, Tony looking demurely back at Bruce. The willingness with which Tony had immediately submitted himself to Bruce was unbelievable.

Tony saw the way Bruce was breathing heavily, his muscles tense. He saw the spark of green in Bruce's eyes before they faded. He knew he'd been bad. Thinking back on the things he'd said, that did seem rather obvious now…

"I'm sorry…" he apologized. "I forgot the part where I shut up…" he said meekly.

Bruce relaxed a little. "It's okay…" he said, still frowning. Then, reluctantly: "You did a good job," he said, meaning that Tony had shut up well once he'd realized that he should.

"Was that the safe word?" Natasha asked.

"Yes," Bruce said.

"So that's it? You say 'gamma' and he just shuts up?" Clint asked, sounding amused.

"It only works when Bruce does it, so don't even try!" Tony said.

"Basically," Bruce said over him, answering Clint's question.

"That sounds incredibly useful," Natasha said. She looked at Tony with an intrigued look on her face. "The response is so immediate. Almost like he's brainwashed."

"Don't even think about it!" Tony said.

"Yeah. No brainwashing," Bruce said unhappily. He sounded a bit protective of Tony and a little thrill went through the billionaire at that thought. He liked the idea of Bruce protecting him.

"If I feed you will you people get out of my penthouse?" Tony asked. Natasha thought about it before giving a little nod.

_Note to self: Natasha Romanoff, possible weaknesses = food._ Tony thought.

"Okay then, I'm ordering Chinese, any complaints will be soundly ignored."

Tony promised a sordid amount of money if the food arrived at twice the usual speed, and so he was soon able to send the other Avengers off packing with food in hand. Once he'd shoed them all onto the elevator, he turned back and looked at Bruce, the two of them finally alone again.

"Well that was all…hectic," Tony said.

"Hectic? _You _thought it was hectic?" Bruce asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Tony said, walking back to the sofa and flopping down next to him. "To be honest, I found each moment of it entirely overwhelming. I already miss this place being just the two of us, and it hasn't even been a day yet."

Bruce was quiet, distracted by his thoughts. Now that he thought about it, it made sense that Tony had been overwhelmed. It explained why he had started acting out; taking his shirt off, talking about sex. It was such a simplistic, fairly childish reaction, but Bruce suspected that Tony tried to make people uncomfortable when he was feeling uncomfortable. Of course, Tony tried to make people uncomfortable when he was feeling perfectly fine and dandy too, but his methods got a little sloppier and thoughtless when he personally felt off-balance.

"Hey, I really am sorry about rambling on like that earlier," Tony said, bringing Bruce back from his quiet contemplation. "I just forget about other people sometimes," Tony said. "Not you though!" he added. "No, I just forget that other people have thoughts and opinions and…this really does sound bad when I say it out loud," he admitted, giving up.

"No, I understand…" Bruce sighed, his small smile obscured by the hand that was rubbing the bridge of his nose. He chuckled to himself. "You wear me out, Tony."

Tony smiled apologetically at him. "I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

Bruce smiled back, looking a bit skeptical. "How?"

"Like this," Tony said, re-positioning Bruce so that he sat with his back to Tony. He started to massage the physicist's shoulders.

"Tony, I- nnnnn… Don't think that you can just- oh. Ohhhhh… Do more of that," Bruce groaned as Tony's fingers worked their way into his stiff muscles. He had thought to put up a resistance, but he swiftly changed his mind.

"Gladly," Tony grinned to himself.

For the next chunk of time Tony got to enjoy Bruce's little noises of gratitude as he worried away at the knots and tensions of his body. He was pretty sure he had just found a new favorite activity.

"Yes, by the way," Bruce said at one point. Tony's fingers stilled for a moment.

"Yes what?" he asked.

"Yes, we're going to have sex at some point," Bruce explained. It took a moment for the words to sink in, and then Tony was grinning ear to ear.

"Okay…" he said, returning to the massage.

Really, who cared how hectic a day got if it was concluded with information like that?

* * *

A/N:

So don't get too excited you guys, I'm not actually going to write a sex scene. That being said, it's not an aspect of their relationship I could just ignore either. They'll have sex at some point, and when they do I'll let you know it. I'm just not going to go into details and descriptions.

Any way.

I really hope that you found everyone's actions and the events that unfolded in this chapter to be true to the characters and the story that I am telling. I say this because I personally find the conversation Bruce and Tony have in this chapter to be very important and realistic. Bruce just made a gesture of commitment to Tony in front of the whole world, but he can't admit to himself that he's committed. I imagine that I'm going to have Bruce do this dance a few more times before Tony pries his eyes open and makes him look at the reality around him, I.E: Bruce is not going anywhere. They are forever.

And about the Clint/Natasha interaction, yeah, I'd have to say that I ship them together. (Read my one-shot for them!) But I'm not going to make a big deal about their relationship or anything. This is still a Bruce/Tony focused fic and forever will be. I only included their side pairing because it assisted in telling Bruce and Tony's story. That being said, it might have possibly been OOC for Clint to just open up and basically confront Natasha with his feelings in front of everyone like that, but honestly, we've seen so little of Clint in the movies, how do we really know? Sorry for the pun, but to me Clint comes across as a straight-shooter who wouldn't hesitate to speak his mind if he thought he had something important to say. That's just my interpretation at least.

Longest Author Note ever and I actually have more to say...but I'll shut up now. PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWS FEED THE BEAST!


	17. We've Come To An Agreement

It was the morning after their argument, and despite having gone to bed with him the night before, Tony still let out a sigh of relief when he awoke the next day and saw Bruce sleeping beside him. More than that, Bruce had completely neglected his side of the bed in favor of wrapping his arms around Tony in the night.

Tony laughed softly to himself. As much as he could fight it while he was awake, Bruce's subconscious betrayed him.

_I know you want to be with me,_ Tony thought, looking down at Bruce's sleeping face. _You wouldn't have kissed me, wouldn't have let me call you my "boyfriend," wouldn't have stepped in front of that camera with me, if you didn't._

Tony was torn. He wanted Bruce to admit this. He wanted Bruce to accept the future. He wanted Bruce to be comfortable believing in something.

But he'd promised not to push him. In fact, he'd promised even more than glacial to the man he lay beside, and that wasn't something he could go back on.

Bruce had so much control over him. He had the safe word, and now this…yet it was something Tony gave gladly, if not easily. He would do anything for Bruce.

_Who was I before you?_ Tony wondered. He could still remember the first time he'd met Bruce on the helicarrier. He'd played it cool; tossing some science at him before striding to Fury's perch, quipping about his eye-patch and outing some poor SHEILD agent playing a video game. He'd done all of this before greeting him properly, shaking his hand, making some joke that he truly meant. He _had_ been a big fan of Bruce's, even before they'd met. When Coulson had brought him the Avenger's files, he hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from the footage of the Hulk. He'd been fascinated from the beginning, since those first news reports of him. It had taken a sincere amount of effort not to charge into that room and head straight for Bruce, bombarding him with questions and altogether trying to unravel the man.

He'd tried to unravel Bruce as best he could later on, but Bruce had been so guarded, so tense. He hadn't wanted to be there, and he didn't seem to have access to the same optimism that Tony did.

But when he'd laughed that first time, after Tony had shocked him, it had made Tony's heart flutter. Even then, love had been stirring inside him.

God, why hadn't he known that at the time? He'd been so blind. All he'd understood was that he was drawn to Bruce. Drawn to him like a shiny new toy, or a bright new idea, or something. Something that was the sort of thing that caught Tony Stark's attention. Accept nothing had ever caught Tony's attention the way Bruce had.

He'd believed in Bruce immediately. How odd was that? He'd never even spoken to him before, and Bruce had done his best after their initial meeting to stay closed off, but Tony had liked him, trusted him, respected him, with out even truly knowing the man. For all Tony had known about him, Bruce could have liked to kick puppies in his spare time. But it had never even occurred to him to doubt, to do anything less than believe.

And of course he'd been proven right. Bruce had come back. Back to fight, back to do the right thing.

_I have to believe in him now, too,_ Tony thought. _He'll love me…he'll do the right thing._

Tony laughed at a passing thought. If he were a woman, he could get Bruce to knock him up, and then his honor would force him to never leave. Or perhaps it would do the opposite. Maybe Bruce would only see himself as a danger to a child.

Tony wondered at that. He couldn't picture his future without Bruce in it, so why not wonder if Bruce would ever want children? Tony had never wanted kids. He really liked them, but they just didn't have a place in his life.

Then again, fantasies about marrying the person who he regularly shared a bed with had never had a place in Tony's life before either.

Again, Bruce had made him a different person. He felt like he had been functioning without a giant piece of himself for all of his life, and that piece was Bruce Banner. Now that he was here…it was like he was the center of Tony's universe.

God, when Bruce had admitted to trying to kill himself that day on the helicarrier…Tony's whole world had gone topsy-turvy. Fear had gripped him as if it had been his own life that had been endangered. He'd only known Bruce for just a few hours at that point, and yet it hadn't mattered.

He had loved Bruce Banner before he'd even met him; He would love him forever.

And he would fight for him, Tony decided. Maybe he had agreed not to push Bruce, but he'd never promised to let him go easily. If Bruce ever tried to leave him… Tony certainly wasn't going to back down gently. He would chase him down to the ends of the Earth if he had to.

Because Bruce loved him, he wasn't worried or insecure about that, Tony knew that he did. Bruce was just afraid.

_You never have to be afraid,_ Tony thought fiercely, running a hand against Bruce's fluffy bed hair. _I will protect you no matter what._

Even if Bruce hated him, even if it killed him. Those words had set Bruce off the day before, but they were still true.

Tony sighed heavily, was this what love was? It was so intense. More powerful than rage, more consuming than fear. It felt like obsession but tasted totally different on his tongue. He had always been such a needy creature. Just ask Pepper and she'd tell you that. But the things he'd needed, craved, desired, had never been another human being before. Not just sexually, but entirely. He'd never wanted something so much that it loomed above all other desires, wiping them out like an over-ride code to inferior programming. Bruce was his pinnacle of longing.

What would he give up for Bruce? His money? Yes. His name? Yes. His power? Yes. Yes yes yes to all of it. He'd change his name to Billy Bob and live in a shack on a remote island if Bruce was in that shack too. Granted, he'd complain constantly and Bruce would probably have to shut him up with twenty-four hour sex, but it was still what he would choose if it came down to that and…living a life with out Bruce. In any capacity. It just wasn't thinkable. Wasn't bearable.

Suddenly he couldn't take it any more, he lifted a hand and placed it on Bruce's shoulder, shaking it gently to wake him up.

"Mmm, yes?" Bruce mumbled, and Tony tried to ignore the shivers of joy that ran through him simply at the sound of his beloved's voice.

"It's morning," Tony whispered. "I'm bored," he followed up.

Bruce smiled sleepily and laughed. "Am I meant to entertain you?"

"Yes," Tony grinned, thinking of all the ways that Bruce could possibly distract him.

Bruce sat up and rubbed sleepily at his eyes.

"We could go down to your lab?" Bruce suggested.

Tony shook his head. "We leave this room and the babysitters will be on us. No, we have to stay here," he grinned. "We have no other choice," he added, not bothering to sound anything less than pleased.

Bruce looked at him blankly. "You're holding me captive in this bed, aren't you?" he said, fully aware what the answer to his question was.

"Yes!" Tony cheered happily, glad that he'd gotten the hint. He hugged Bruce abruptly and forced him back into a horizontal position, Tony falling on top of him.

"Well, okay," Bruce laughed, pulling Tony in for a kiss.

"Mmmm," Tony moaned happily against his lips. "I like it when you do that," he said.

"What, kiss you?" Bruce asked, thinking that seemed pretty obvious.

"Yes, kiss me. Not just kiss me back," Tony explained.

Bruce frowned. "Is that how it is? Do I not kiss you enough?"

Tony smiled. "You could never kiss me enough," he said, wanting to ease his boyfriend's concerns. "I usually am the one going at your lips, it's true, but that's just because I'm revved up far beyond that of a normal human, so don't feel bad."

But Bruce did. He felt really bad. "I don't kiss you enough?" he asked with a pout that threatened to drive Tony crazy. And then before he knew what was happening, Bruce had shifted them so that Bruce was the one lying on top of Tony. "I need to make up for that," Bruce said seriously. The look Bruce was giving him sent Tony's heart beat into rapid palpitations.

"Uh, okay-" he said, his blood rushing too loudly for him to form any other thoughts.

Bruce slipped his hands into Tony's hair and gripped him gently behind the ears, tilting his head up to meet his lips.

It reminded Tony of the first time they'd kissed. Bruce had taken the initiative then too, although he hadn't done it much since. He liked that feeling of melding together that only seemed to happen when it was Bruce who was taking charge. He'd felt that during their first kiss, and when they'd danced…it made Tony think that maybe he should get out of his own way a bit more often. Try to approach his love for Bruce less obsessively, the way he did with everything in his life that he felt passion for. Bruce wasn't just the next jolt of adrenaline, after all. Tony might not have known much, but he knew that at least…

Bruce's lips, his hands, his soft gentle tongue, his body against Tony's, it wasn't just _lust,_ it wasn't just _thrill,_ it wasn't just the _want_ that coursed through his veins when he looked at Bruce.

What was this? What was it exactly that he felt for Bruce? He wanted to pick it apart, analyze it, understand it. That was how he got closer to things, and why he did better with machines than people. If he could understand exactly how love worked, how Bruce worked, then maybe he would know how to make Bruce stay with him, no matter what.

"Are you okay?" Bruce whispered into his lips, and the heat of his breath seemed for a moment like the most significant thing in the world to Tony.

Tony realized that he had gone a bit still, that as much as he was focusing on each and every little minute move that Bruce made, he had also drifted off into his head.

"Fine," Tony mumbled back. "Don't stop," he said. He'd meant to say "Don't stop kissing me" but only those two words had gotten out, and they worked just as well.

Bruce's lips were back on his, easing his mouth open wider. Why was Bruce so gentle? Tony was never this gentle. He thought it was boring. At least, he had always thought it'd be boring. He hadn't ever really tried it. But Bruce was the king of it, the master. He thought of those poor men in those gay bars, getting this and then being shot down for anything more. To have Bruce and then to lose him. Tony couldn't imagine anything worse.

Tony placed his hands lightly against Bruce's back, to let him know that he was doing everything right. Tony couldn't just lie there like a log; it wasn't his style and besides, it was rude.

"You're acting weird," Bruce said, and Tony could feel the smile ghosting across his boyfriend's lips even if Tony's eyes were closed and couldn't see it.

He was coming apart, he recognized that now. If he let himself go down this path any farther then he wouldn't be able to keep his word. He'd be begging Bruce to promise, promise to never leave, and the glacial pace he'd agreed to would be completely tossed aside.

How had he managed to act so brave up until then? Had he just been ignoring the fear Bruce's words had infected him with the other day? Because it was there, growing inside him, spreading, and with each little touch of Bruce's lips and slip of his hands over Tony's skin, Tony was only becoming more and more aware of how precious Bruce was to him, how afraid he was to lose him.

He flipped Bruce over onto his back, slamming him into the mattress.

"Woah!" Bruce said. Tony ignored him. He jammed their lips together and pressed his hips into Bruce's, wanting to do it again and again. He held himself back by gripping the waistband of Bruce's pants, so tight his fingernails dug into his palms. It became less helpful when he realized that one tug and-

"Tony!"

Bruce was saying his name. Gasping in surprise, but Tony was sure he could make him gasp in other ways-

"What are you-?"

"Fuck," Tony whispered. He didn't know if it was a suggestion or swearing just for the need to let something out. He needed to get away from Bruce right then. _No_. He needed to get closer. He didn't know what he needed.

Bruce grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved Tony off of him. He looked down at Tony, staring dazedly up at him, and grinned.

"Jesus, you _are _revved up," he laughed.

_He doesn't see,_ Tony thought. _Doesn't know that was serious. Seriously what, I don't know, but seriously something._

"Maybe you should take a shower or something?" Bruce smiled at him. "A cold one?" he suggested with a soft laugh.

Tony found himself nodding and getting up, desperate for salvation. He headed for the shower, and while half of him needed to chase these thoughts away, the other half needed just as desperately to stay with Bruce.

_Get a grip,_ Tony thought as he closed the bathroom door behind him and tore off his clothes. _Seriously Stark, get a grip. This isn't healthy. This isn't you. Not that you and un-healthy have never been bunk mates before, but this takes it to another place, a different level._

It had been one thing to feel this way when he'd been convinced his feelings were unrequited. It had been all or nothing then, and more decidedly it had been nothing. It had been hard, but not as hard as this. He felt like he was at this halfway point where he got to touch Bruce but not hold him, borrow him but not have him. He wished that he could go back to that moment when Bruce had said that he trusted him, and he had felt like Bruce was his. But now he understood that trust was a relative concept, and what it meant to Bruce wasn't the same as what it had come to mean to Tony. Because it was exactly as Bruce had said, he loved him, but not unconditionally, because as much as Bruce trusted him, he could never trust himself. That stung. It stung hard. His love for Bruce was his over-ride code, his priority above all other interests, and Bruce love for him wasn't those things for Bruce.

He had to admit though, had to keep reminding himself because he knew it was true, that Bruce had a lot more to get passed than Tony did. What were Tony's hang ups? Narcissism? Loneliness? Issues connecting? In the face of what Bruce's problems were- trauma. Real, integral, soul crippling trauma. Tony had been tortured, trapped in that cave, but he'd been an adult. He'd been strong, and he'd been able to prove that to himself and the world. His pain was an instant in his life. Bruce's pain had begun his life. Tony couldn't truly, reasonably expect to be an over-ride code for programming that went that deep.

Still though…he couldn't help it. He didn't do half way. It fought every impulse that he had. He was Tony Stark, and Tony Stark did all or nothing.

All or nothing. He'd seen nothing, but what did all look like? What was that? He should at least know what it was, if it was what Bruce was so afraid of and what he wanted so desperately.

He turned the shower on but ended up just slipping to the floor of the shower, sitting on the damp tile and letting the lukewarm spray pound on him like a precipitous downpour.

_Marry me,_ he thought. _No. Stop thinking that. Stop wanting that. It isn't right._

He rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes, trying to clear the thoughts away.

_Marry me, marry me, marry me. Never leave me._

Tony had massaged Bruce's back and Bruce had given him the promise of sex, and for most of Tony's life that would have been all he wanted, all he needed to satisfy himself, because he wouldn't have ever wanted anything more. Now though? Tony actually found himself thinking that he didn't want sex if Bruce wasn't his. Not really, properly, unconditionally his.

Tony tried to take deep, calming breaths and just ended up with water in his mouth.

He shut the shower off and grabbed a towel.

_Optimism,_ he reminded himself as he dried off. It was one of the things Tony did best even if he wasn't often recognized for it. Maybe he should replace "playboy" with "optimist" in his official/nonofficial title.

_You can do this,_ Tony told himself. _You can wait. You can wait until your charm has sunken so bone deep into Bruce Banner that his insecurity and his fear can't put up a proper defense. Because he loves you, and it will happen, it just needs the chance to. You can do it. And not just because you love him and would do anything for him, but because you're Tony fucking Stark and you built the Iron Man suit in a God forsaken cave and if you can do that then you can do this._

Tony smiled. Sure, love was rough, but he had always liked it rough. Tony Stark had never failed before and he wouldn't fail now.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to approach loving Bruce the way he usually approached the things he was passionate about; with unwavering determination and a self assured grin.

He charged out of the bathroom and faced down Bruce, who was still sitting in bed. Bruce looked up at Tony, dripping and clad only in a towel, a surprised look on his face.

"Yes-?" he started to question when Tony cut him off.

"Okay, here's the thing," Tony began. "I need something from you. I know I made you a lot of promises, but I respect you enough not to treat you like you're made of glass, so I'm asking for something in return."

Bruce's eyebrows rose at that. "Approving future sex wasn't enough?" he joked blandly.

"No, no it wasn't," Tony said decidedly. "Although thank you very much for that, don't think I'm not incredibly pleased, because I am. But I need one other thing. Just one thing."

"I'm listening," Bruce said, understanding that what Tony had to say was important, or else he wouldn't be presenting it like this.

Tony crouched down by the bed so that he was on a level with Bruce.

"I need to be allowed to hope," he said. "And not just that, but believe. Can that be okay? If I don't make you promise me a future where we're together, can I still be allowed to believe in it? Because I do, Bruce, and I won't be able to stop. Trying to stop is killing me. I'm such an impulsive person and yet for some reason I can't live in the moment with you if I'm thinking each moment could be our last, so can I at least be allowed to hope?"

Bruce blinked at Tony in surprise. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way…"

"No, no Bruce it's okay. Really it is. I understand. You can't do it. But I need to. Can we make that work? Because if I'm going to not push you into things then I need to be able to tell myself, 'not now but maybe someday.' I need that, Bruce. I need 'maybe someday.'"

Bruce stared at Tony, and Tony thought he saw moisture shining in his brown eyes.

"Of course," Bruce whispered. "Of course. I would never ask you to…give up hope. Tony, _I_ still hope. It's what terrifies me. But I do want…Tony I do _want_ us to work. I want it more than anything."

Relief flooded through Tony's whole body. What was it Pepper had said? About communication being important? Tony had to remember to kiss that lovely woman the next time he saw her, because she had been right-as-frikking-rain.

"I actually… I actually like this whole 'not now but maybe someday' idea. I might use that myself," Bruce said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile.

"Okay," Tony nodded and let out the breath he'd been holding. "Okay."

Bruce laughed. "Okay. Glad we got that sorted. Now get dressed, I'm hungry and we can't avoid the babysitters all day."

Tony grinned. "Your wish is my command my lord," he said, skipping off to the walk in closet.

Bruce laughed again. He felt trimmers of anxiety edging in on his consciousness, but he still felt like a good thing had just happened. He wasn't even sure what exactly had changed. He still hadn't promised Tony forever, and Tony was still agreeing to that, so what about their dynamic had shifted?

It took running their conversation over in his head a few times before he realized what it was.

He'd agreed to try. He hadn't promised Tony a future, but he'd agreed to try. It was such a simple thing. Really it should have been a given, since Bruce claimed to care as much as he did, but it wasn't, because Bruce was damaged and they both knew it. This simple little thing was a big deal.

Until that point, Bruce had been imagining his loftiest goal as being able to take each moment at a time and eventually piece together a life with Tony, never once accepting it as permanent or lasting. Now he felt like he and Tony had adjusted to a different, shared goal: Slowly but surely getting Bruce to the point where he no longer felt the way he did. It might seem like trying to get Bruce to be able to promise a future, and trying to get Bruce to promise a future were the same thing, and maybe they were, but in Bruce's mind that extra step put a manageable distance between him and his fear.

There was no end product he had to deliver, there was no contract he had signed; he was just going to try. That was all.

He let out a sigh of relief. Honestly, he was happy that he and Tony were on more equal ground now. He couldn't take Tony being dissatisfied, and by the way he was humming from the walk in closet as he got dressed, Bruce figured he'd done a pretty good job lifting his spirits.

* * *

A/N:

So this chapter was the result of me feeling two things: 1) I have gotten really dialogue heavy and brief on things, and wanted to get wordy again. And 2) Well, god, I just hope what I wrote here in this chapter even made sense. I just felt like I needed to pick apart Tony and Bruce's current dynamic, because I wasn't sure it was really clear, but I could have just mucked it up more. I guess I just feel like it was sort of sudden, me taking Bruce from telling Tony he trusted him and being willing to take their relationship public to "aaaah panic cannot deal nonono!" But the way I rationalize it to myself is that Bruce got lulled into a temporary sense of security when it was just the two of them that first week or so, and that security lasted just long enough for him to take their relationship public and enjoy that high, and then it all just kind of hit him at once the real lasting repercussions of what he'd agreed to. The catalyst of that realization of course being his painful, confusing transformation that left him feeling shaken and unsure of himself again. Gah, I know a real writer wouldn't have to explain all this, and that it should really just be clear in the actual story, but oh well.

Additionally: I would like to suggest the "Turquoise" series here on fanfiction, by Del Rion. I started with "Blue Glow" because that's where the Bruce/Tony interaction starts to really get going, but the previous installments do the unique thing of establishing a real backdrop before the romance starts. I was sort of stunned that the series hadn't gotten more reviews, so I thought I'd see if I could send any of my absolutelybelovedradientamaz ingdidImentionIloveyouguys reviewers over there.

Oh! Equally important! School starts for me the day after tomorrow, so I'm going to be like five times more busy now, so no more rapid updates guys, sorry. I'm going to try for a new chapter at least every two weeks, but don't hold me to that.


	18. I Can't Resist You

**A/N: So I know I usually put the Authors Note at the end of the chapter, but I just have to be upfront and say... I am incredibly nervous about posting this. I like it. I worked very hard on it. That being said, I am also very vulnerable and insecure about it. I've imagined a million different ways that it could be picked apart and decimated. It could very well be that you won't love this as much as I do. You could even DIS-like it...but I'm just some kid writing fanfiction, doing the best job I know how to do, so please for the love of God, be gentle with me on this one? **

**To sum up, I'll just say that 1) it starts out silly, and for some people the fourth wall might be more visible than they like it. Sorry if that's the case. 2) it becomes a big deal later on, and I really did my very best to handle it well. Finally, 3) it is an INCREDIBLY LONG CHAPTER. Over 7,500 words. Holy crap. Don't forget snacks and bathroom breaks, okay guys?**

* * *

When Bruce and Tony left their room, their three fellow Avengers were already waiting for them in the penthouse.

"Hey!" Tony said when he saw Natasha eating leftover take-out on one of his sofas. "Don't eat in my living room!"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You honestly think I don't have the dexterity to avoid making a mess?"

Tony frowned at that. She had a good point. Still, it was the principal of the thing.

"Couldn't you just move to the kitchen?" Bruce asked nicely. Natasha hesitated for a moment, then got up and stalked over to sit at the bar. Tony wasn't sure exactly why that had worked so well, and when he glanced over at Bruce he was surprised by the look on his face.

He looked incredibly sad.

"What's wrong?" Tony whispered in his ear. Bruce just looked at him and shook his head. Tony stared back, trying to urge him into speaking with a look and a gesture. He wasn't giving up that easily.

Bruce relented and whispered back in Tony's ear. "I think she's still afraid of me."

"Even after seeing goofy Hulk?" Tony asked.

Bruce shrugged. "I don't think she's used to things scaring her."

"What are you two love birds whispering about?" Clint asked from his spot on the couch. Natasha had previously been blocking him from view, so Tony hadn't seen the way his heavy boots were resting on Tony's coffee table. Clint was sitting there, looking blatantly at home, reading a magazine-

"Hey! Don't read that!" Tony stomped behind the sofa and snatched it from him.

"You two are real cute together," Clint grinned. Tony simply scowled down at the magazine, one of the tabloids that Pepper had left behind the day before.

"I know we're cute. We're fucking adorable. Now don't read this shit."

Clint shrugged. "It was just lying around."

"It's okay, Tony. Millions of other people have read it," Bruce said, going to sit down on the couch next to Clint and taking the magazine from Tony's hand.

Bruce didn't know Clint very well. They hadn't gotten the opportunity to meet at all on the helicarrier, and Bruce hadn't been mentally present for long during the battle. Their encounters afterwards had been brief and few. Still though, he thought he liked Clint. There was an unwavering calmness to him that he felt secure with. Clint wasn't afraid of him the way Natasha was, although he was reasonably wary. And the things he'd said the other day…gave Bruce the impression that he was a good person.

"So," Steve spoke up from his spot on the other sofa. "What will you two be doing today?" he directed at Tony and Bruce.

"Well, I've always wanted to fuck someone on a lab table, so we might do that-" Tony said, annoyed that Steve was asking about their business.

"Behave," Bruce warned, not looking up from the magazine he was now flipping through.

Tony gave a twisted frown. "I'm…sorry," he said to Steve, each syllable wracked with strain. "I meant…noneofyourdamnbusiness."

"Jesus, Tony," Bruce sighed in exasperation. "He didn't ask for your social security number, he just wants to know what our plans are."

"Well I don't want him following me around, peering over my shoulder!" Tony said. Then, as an after thought, "Besides, I don't know my social security number."

"Tony, they're here to watch me," Bruce reminded him. "That's they're job, not to follow you around."

Tony slumped over the back of the sofa. "Are you planning on not being near me?" he whined.

"You are so pathetic," Natasha commented from the kitchen, her voice never leaving a deadpan. "Bruce, how do you reconcile the fact that you're dating an immense child?"

"Well, he is kind of sexy…" Bruce replied.

Tony's eyes went wide. "You…you just…" he began, amazed that Bruce had actually just said the word "sexy," out loud, in front of people. Tony fell into a moment of stunned silence.

"Banner!" Clint said approvingly. "You really are good at this whole 'getting Stark to shut up' thing."

Bruce looked away, a little unsure how to deal with the friendly praise. He wasn't used to casual approval. Tony's response, however, he had anticipated perfectly, and it made him grin.

"You called me sexy!" Tony cheered, having successfully processed that input. "You did! I heard it! I have witnesses!" Bruce rolled his eyes and smiled, aware of the way Tony was jumping up and down with glee. "Steve," Tony said, latching his attention onto the Captain. "Did you not just observe this man right here refer to me as sexy?"

And for Christ's sake, if the man didn't look like he hadn't even recovered from Tony's 'fucking on a lab table' comment. His eyes were wide and his mouth was clamped shut and his cheeks were red.

"You're a worse prude than Bruce is!" Tony moaned.

"Give the guy a break," Clint said. "He's like a ninety something year old virgin."

Tony froze. Pieces of information started to click together in his head. It was true. Steve Rogers was probably the oldest virgin of all time. Why had he never realized that before? Bless Hawkeye, bless him to Tibet and back, because if that wasn't humiliation _gold_.

"Oh my god, you are!" Tony jeered, going as far as to point a finger in Steve's direction.

"So?" Steve said, not entirely managing to sound un-defensive, but doing a fairly good job. "I was asleep for seventy of those years. I'm only really twenty-three."

Tony couldn't help it. His mouth dropped open at that.

"Holy crap, you're just a baby!" he said, really never having thought of Steve that way before. Steve acted like such a fuddy duddy old man all the time, and he was such a big hurking muscley thing, it was hard to think of him as just being…just a kid.

"I am not," Steve said sternly. "I've been to war. I'm a grown man."

And really, Tony wasn't going to argue with that, because Steve Rogers was undeniably a man. A man's man. The All-American man. But still…twenty-three. That was half Tony's age.

Tony hopped over the back of the sofa to fall into place between Bruce and Clint.

"It's weird though!" he said. "I'm old enough to be your dad! Except…you're also old enough to be _my_ dad. God, that's just really flipping weird."

"Neither of us are each other's fathers," Steve said, un-amused.

"Well, you're not anyone's father, being a virgin and all," Tony added.

Steve groaned. They were back to that.

"That's okay," Bruce said, still flipping through the magazine. "Tony's a virgin too."

There wasn't a single person besides Bruce in that room who wasn't thinking some version of "what the hell?"

"Um, darling, are you feeling alright?" Tony asked Bruce, reaching out to check his forehead for a fever. "Because I know you know I am anything but."

"Right," Steve said. "Tony's…he's not…"

"He is when it comes to what he wants to do with _me_," Bruce said with a suggestiveness well disguised as casualness. Bruce simply smirked when he saw Clint raise on eyebrow and mumble "over share" while Steve's face grew red.

Tony gaped at him. "Oh my god! What is this? Didn't I get the safe-word yesterday for talking like this?" He'd never seen Bruce act so…naughty! Bruce was supposed to disapprove of such things.

"Yes," Bruce agreed. "And I'm getting you back. Try stewing in your own personal information being unwillingly shared with the world for a while."

"Babyyyyyy!" Tony whined, flopping backwards into Bruce's lap and throwing his legs over a displeased Clint. "I said I was sorry! I said so! Forgive meeeee."

Bruce glanced down at Tony, forcing himself to smother a smirk.

"What if I want to antagonize you about it first?"

"Oh, for the love of God," Natasha said from the kitchen, throwing her take out box away. "Please don't, I'm not sure I can take much more of this sappy, love-sick moaning."

"Speaking of which!" Tony exclaimed, sitting up. "I want to know what happened after you went after Clint on the elevator!"

"But you never will," Clint said decidedly, shutting him down. Natasha crossed her arms and looked equally unwavering.

"Well…gosh," Tony said sadly. "At least tell me if you two are okay. I'm concerned."

Clint snorted. "Why on Earth would you care? You're just nosy."

"You hurt me, sir!" Tony exclaimed. "Don't you know I totes ship Clintasha?"

He managed to make the only two master assassins he knew blanch and stare at him in stunned amazement with that comment.

"You…you what?" Natasha stammered.

"Did you just say…Clintasha?" Clint asked.

Tony shrugged. "It's an internet thing. You know. They combine peoples names?"

The spy and the archer just stared at him, having no idea what he was talking about.

"You know? Like Branjelina? No?" Tony said, getting the impression that they had better things to do than keep up on the ins and outs of pop culture. At least they got more references than Steve and Thor did. "Well anyway, I made that one up for you after Clint confessed his undying love and devotion to you like a flipping Romeo-Cassanova-Stud Muffin and you cruelly- probably, I'm assuming- rejected him."

"You don't know that," Natasha said, coming to sit down on the sofa next to Steve.

"So you are together?" Tony asked excitedly.

"You don't know that," Clint said.

Tony pouted.

"Why are you two ganging up on me? Clint, don't _you_ want to tell me what happened?"

"Nope," the archer said simply.

Bruce ran a comforting hand through Tony's hair at the little noise of frustration he released.

"Tony, it's okay. Sometimes people's business is their business. You gotta learn to let it go."

Tony let out a wordless sound of complaint.

"For me?" Bruce prompted sweetly.

Tony pouted, but relented. "You fight dirty," he said. "You know I'd do anything for you." He laid back down and nuzzled his head on Bruce's thigh, laying across the cushions. Spurred on by Tony's efforts to take over the couch, Clint moved to sit on top of the sofa's back, out of the way of Tony Stark's legs. He didn't really mind though, he liked being high up and having somewhere to perch.

"So, what are you two?" Steve asked.

"What do you mean?" Bruce responded, confused.

"Your name? Your combined couple name?" Steve explained. Tony couldn't help but find it just a smidge endearing that he would ask. Maybe there was a bit of a dumb puppy quality to the Cap's awkward stick-in-the-mud personality that Tony could maybe sort of half way learn to tolerate a bit. If he was feeling generous.

Bruce smiled at Steve, considering the question.

"I don't know. 'Tony and Bruce,' hmm…Truce?" he suggested.

"That sounds like we just signed a peace treaty," Tony said.

"Well, we can't be Brony, that's that pony thing…" Bruce went on. Tony grinned at that. He loved that Bruce even knew what bronies were. He was pretty sure no one else in the room had any clue.

"What about 'Stanner?' That sounds nice and sexy, doesn't it?" Tony suggested.

Bruce wrinkled his nose. "That makes me think of too many other words, like 'scanner' and 'stamps.'"

"It's a perfectly good name," Tony insisted. "But alright. We'll get more creative. How about… Science Alliance?"

Bruce laughed out loud. Tony grinned.

"Science Boyfriends of utter awesomeness?"

"I like it, but it's a bit long," Bruce smiled.

"What about our alter egos?" Tony asked, immensely enjoying himself. "Black Widow and Hawkeye have endless possibilities… I think 'Black Eye" is the best. How hot is that? It's kinky, just how I imagine they would be," Tony winked at Natasha.

"Stop imagining us being anything, it's creepy," Natasha said in monotone.

"No! I will go down with this ship!" Tony declared.

"I still have no idea what the hell you're talking about with that," Clint said. Tony stuck his tongue out at him.

"You're right about Black Eye sounding cool," Bruce agreed, getting back on point. "But for us there's not much besides 'Iron Hulk' and that's sort of boring."

"Hmmmmm…" Tony said, thinking about it. Then, suddenly, he was rocketing up from Bruce's lap, the idea so clear in his eyes that you could have easily imagined a light bulb lighting up above his head.

"Rage Against the Machine!" he cried, making Bruce laugh and grin, even managing to elicit a chuckle from Barton, who at the very least had heard of the band.

"It's perfect!" Tony cried with joy. But his good cheer was abruptly cut off when he noticed Steve sulking.

"Steve, why are you sulking?" Tony asked.

"I'm not sulking," Steve said defensively.

"Yes, yes you are…" Tony narrowed his eyes. "Is it because you're the fifth wheel and don't have anyone to come up with cool combo couple names with?"

Steve twiddled his thumbs and looked away. "…No," he said, unconvincingly.

"Awwww, Stevie, that's sorta cute. Don't worry, we'll find a nice girl for you and re-arrange every single letter in your names, how's that-"

Tony was interrupted by Bruce.

"Oh my god!" Bruce said, and immediately clamped a hand over his mouth.

Everyone looked at him curiously.

"What is it?" Tony asked. Bruce simply shook his head vigorously, looking at Tony with wide eyes. "Bruce, come on," Tony said, pulling Bruce's hand away from his mouth.

Bruce shook his head again. "It was just the play on words, it just popped into my head, it didn't mean anything. I wasn't even thinking about-"

"Darling, what on Earth are you talking about?" Tony asked.

Bruce stared at him with wide eyes. "No, it'll make you mad and make Steve uncomfortable…"

Tony raised an eyebrow at Bruce. "Darling, I could never get mad at you over a pun, and Steve's probably been in a perpetual state of discomfort since he saw his first Victoria's Secret ad-"

"It's kinda true," Steve supplemented, also curious about what Bruce had been thinking.

"See?" Tony said. "Go ahead. Share."

Bruce looked at each of his four fellow Avengers hesitantly, then dropped his eyes and said quietly:

"Stark Spangled Banner."

There was a moment of silence before Tony and Clint both burst out laughing, and Bruce could have imagined it, but he thought he might have heard the softest chuckle from Natasha as well. Even Steve was smiling.

"Am I 'Spangled?'" he asked, oddly pleased just to be included.

"Oh my god!" Tony said. "That is too perfect! Steve, I don't even like you and I want to have a three-way with you just to make this a thing!"

Steve valiantly managed to not become too terribly awkward at that, focusing instead on taking Tony's comment about not liking him in stride. Steve knew he didn't really mean it. Tony was just…prickly.

"Um, can I just veto that right now?" Bruce asked, doing a little bit worse than Steve at not taking the suggested three-way too seriously. Having a much clearer idea than Steve did on what a three-way actually was probably made the difference.

"Yeah, you're right," Tony agreed, thinking about it and frowning. "Probably wouldn't work out well, considering that if anyone besides me ever touched you I would grab the nearest sharp object and stab them to death."

"Wow," Natasha said, raising one red eyebrow. "A little possessive there?" she commented.

Tony slung his arm over Bruce's shoulder and looked fierce.

"Yes. Mine," he growled.

Bruce smiled. He really didn't have a problem with that. Tony grinned at Bruce, their brown eyes sweeping over each other, and the overwhelming need to kiss called to them both.

"Steve, close your eyes and think of America, this is not for you to see," Tony said, pulling Bruce against him. Tony was distantly aware of Steve saying "I don't have a problem with…" before he trailed off awkwardly, but Tony was mostly just thinking about Bruce locked against his lips.

"Nn, Tony," Bruce said, pushing Tony gently away after a moment. "We can't just make out in front of everyone."

"I accept!" Tony said with a flourish, jumping up from the sofa and pulling Bruce with him.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Bruce asked, bewildered.

"Why, your invitation to go make out in my lab of course," Tony said.

Bruce snorted in amusement. "Is that what that was?" he asked.

"Yes," Tony said, grabbing Bruce by the hand and pulling him to the elevator.

"Gonna go do science and suck face!" Tony called to the other Avengers. He paused at the elevator doors and looked at Natasha. "Feel the need to keep an eye on us?" he asked.

Natasha gave him a look that revealed none of her inner thoughts. "No, that's okay," she said. "Go on."

Tony grinned.

"Who knows!" he said as the elevator doors closed. "I may have lost the last of my virginity by the time I get back!"

Tony saw the uncomfortable look on the Cap's face just before the doors closed, and grinned in satisfaction for a moment before looking carefully at Bruce.

"You know I only said that to mess with Steve, right? I didn't really mean anything…"

Bruce smiled. "It's fine, Tony. I didn't take you seriously. Sue me, but I can't help having this naïve expectation that I'll be properly seduced by you when the time comes."

Tony beamed at him. "Yes, you will be!" he agreed.

"Good," Bruce smiled back. "Because for once the thought of intimacy doesn't terrify me, and I plan on enjoying that."

Tony looked at Bruce thoughtfully.

"I may be a super hero," Tony said. "But I've never felt like I had an actual super power until now. I wish I knew what made me different. Why exactly you feel safe with me."

"I've been thinking about that," Bruce said. "And I was thinking that maybe since…since the Hulk has actually been a part of me, well, my whole life really, not just since the gamma radiation… maybe he was what was causing my problems all that time."

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"Well…people could get close to me, but they could never get close to him. To all of me, I guess. But you have. He likes you. So I guess… I guess that's why I feel like I'd be okay. Because I know every part of me is safe with you."

Tony smiled. "That's really sweet, Bruce."

Bruce shrugged. "I don't see how," he said, stepping off the elevator and into Tony's lab. "What's so sweet about needing to get past a giant green monster in order to get into my pants?"

"Okay, first off," Tony said. "He's not a monster, and secondly-"

Tony stopped, falling silent. Bruce looked back at him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I just, I…" Tony glanced up at Bruce. "If we have sex, you don't think he'll remember it, do you?"

Bruce stared at Tony. That was…not something Bruce had considered.

"Because, I'm sorry, that would just be really awkward," Tony said, looking away and going a bit red. "I don't know how I'd look the big guy in the eyes…"

"Um, well," Bruce said, rubbing the back of his head and looking thoughtful. "You probably have a better idea of what he remembers than I do, since you've actually talked to him about it…"

"He said that he thinks most of what you do is boring, but he remembers interesting things and things that upset him."

"So…" Bruce trailed off. "Think he'd find sex interesting and/or upsetting?"

Tony frowned. "That's actually a really good question. The last part. What if he doesn't like it? Do you know if arousal makes you transform?"

Bruce blushed. "Well, you've proved that it doesn't in small doses at least."

Tony grinned. "Aw, thanks. But seriously, sex with me is not going to be like making out with me. It's going to be about six trillion times better. Think you can handle that?"

Bruce shrugged uncertainly. "It's always just been anger, danger, and pain before…but those are all primal instincts, and sex _is_ primal..."

Bruce frowned deeply.

"I can't believe I didn't give this more consideration before I agreed to… I just feel so safe with you, you know? And I do want…" Bruce trailed off, growing upset. He should have known better than to think that he could just have this. That he was his own to give. His life didn't really belong to him, he knew that, but Tony had made him forget. He'd wanted nothing more than to be allowed just this one little piece of connection and…and normalcy.

"Hey," Tony said, concerned. "Hey, it's okay." He wrapped Bruce in his arms. "We'll figure out a way," Tony said, kissing Bruce's forehead. "We're scientists, remember? We'll just be scientific about it. We'll study it step by step, collecting data and accounting for all our variables.." he trailed off, giving Bruce a reassuring smile. There was nothing in the world that he wanted more than to put him at ease. He couldn't stand to see Bruce, so adorable and dear to him, feeling upset. The need to soothe him was omnipotent within him.

"So what are you suggesting," Bruce asked curiously. "That we simply approach this like a cause and effect formula? Input said amount of arousal and record the resulting urge to transform? Then proceed from there?" Bruce was trying to figure out how one could possibly attempt to study such a thing.

"Mmm, that sounds really nice…" Tony said, resting his face in the crook of Bruce's neck.

He had suggested it seriously as an actual solution to the problem, but Tony couldn't help but find himself irresistibly aroused by the thought of turning their intimate liaisons into a scientific experiment. It occurred to him that Bruce was probably the one person on the face of the planet who he could combine his scientific passion and amorous passion with.

"How exactly does that sound nice?" Bruce asked with a hint of confusion.

"Mmm, slowly getting to know exactly how you work…" He slid his hands down Bruce's back to rest on his ass, pressing Bruce into him. "What sets you off…" He lifted one hand to slip under Bruce's shirt, brushing against the sensitive skin of his side. "What gets your heart rate up and makes you feel _primal,_" Tony trailed kisses across Bruce's neck.

He realized now that while they'd been talking about the dangers and consequences of having sex, a part of him had just been listening to the "having sex" part. He felt slightly guilty for that, but he wasn't doing anything wrong by pressing Bruce against him, touching him softly and kissing the tender areas of his neck. He was merely starting on the experiment, he rationalized. This was simply a step that had to be taken if they were going to learn more about Bruce's condition. Tony tugged at Bruce's shirt, exposing his collar bone. He gently grazed his teeth across it, making Bruce shiver.

"_Tony_," Bruce moaned. "You need to stop... I'm seeing a flaw in your plan."

"Which is?" Tony asked, sucking on the sensitive skin of Bruce's neck. He was now irrevocably distracted from any thoughts of caution that might have concerned him just minutes before. All that existed was Bruce's warm body pressed against his.

"Mm, this is going to deteriorate into more arousal than experiment," Bruce stated. "Because if you're trying to study the effect that arousal has on me and providing that arousal at the same time, how are you going to record the data?" Bruce asked, courageously clinging to whatever resistance he could bare to muster. He was enjoying this just as much as Tony was.

"I'll invent something to do it for me," Tony said simply, moving his attention from Bruce's neck to Bruce's lower lip, just barely nibbling at it. Then he swept his tongue across it, slipping in and then out of Bruce's mouth, making him gasp.

"Invent something to record the data or to arouse me?" Bruce asked, breathless.

Tony pulled back to look him in the eyes, the fires of passion burning in his gaze. "Dr. Banner. I am shocked. Are you suggesting that I use _stimulating devices _on you?" Tony grabbed Bruce's hips and pulled them forcefully against his. "As much as it would pain me to give up the privilege of doing it personally, that sounds fucking _hot._" Tony bucked his hips against Bruce's to punctuate the point.

"Oh God, Tony stop," Bruce moaned, becoming equally riled up. This wasn't like the times they'd made out, when all the focus had been on lips and tongues and faces. Their desire was dense throughout their whole bodies, spread like wildfire between them by Tony's wandering hands. Bruce was having a hard time remembering the concern that had spurred his words just minutes before. He knew that there was a problem with what was happening, but that information was stored in his brain, which had been almost completely overridden by his body at that point.

Tony considered Bruce's request. How could Tony stop when they both wanted it so badly? Tony couldn't even remember what they'd been talking about a minute ago. All he could comprehend was his own desire, so tantalizingly reflected in Bruce. He could see that restraint, that repression the physicist carried around inside him, and he wanted nothing more than to break it wide open, letting out the passion that Bruce kept locked down so tightly. He knew it was there, trapped inside, and he could feel the desire radiating off Bruce in waves, making Tony dizzy, getting him high.

"Touch me," Tony whispered in Bruce's ear, begging. It was a dirty trick to play, putting the control in Bruce's hands, making him the one responsible for resisting.

And it worked. Bruce looked him in the eyes, a desperation there so palpable it nearly shocked Tony. Before he knew it, Tony was being pushed backwards until his ass hit the edge of one of the lab tables. Bruce was pressed against him, pinning him there, grabbing all the layers of Tony's shirts together and pulling them forcefully over his head.

_I think he's stronger than me,_ Tony realized for the first time. There was something so strangely appealing about that. That just as a regular human, Bruce was strong. Tony felt a rush of lust hit him hard in his abdomen, sending sparks of heat shooting downwards, making his legs go weak.

As soon as his shirts were off, Bruce's attention went straight to the arc reactor, dragging his tongue over it. Tony shuddered and yelped. He was beginning to think that the arc reactor had become like a phantom limb, something he could feel despite there being no nerve endings involved. He felt the strangest, strongest impulse to grab Bruce and shove his face against the arc, but he resisted, and the need proved to be a fleeting one. As much as he enjoyed the attention paid to his arc reactor, desire was coursing much more powerfully through the biological parts of Tony's body.

"Tony. Tony, no. We shouldn't," Bruce said when he managed to regain a bit of control. "What happened to being properly seduced?"

"If you tell me you're anything less than utterly seduced at this point, you're _lying,_" Tony growled.

"What about being careful?" Bruce asked, moving on to his next point of resistance. "Scientific? Testing my response to arousal slowly?"

Tony had an argument for that too.

"Bruce, how turned on are you right now? Do you think you could _get_ any hornier than this?" Tony sure knew he couldn't.

Bruce shook his head. He felt the same way. On _fire._ He was already at six trillion times better than just making out.

"And do you feel anything close to transforming?" Tony asked, seriously caring about the answer, but thinking he already knew what it was.

Bruce shook his head again. To be completely honest, he didn't. In all his time since the accident, this was the least he had ever felt like transforming. Usually the Hulk was an ever present force, rage filling Bruce's head at all time, whether at the forefront or as background noise. But now, all he could think about was Tony and how _good_ it would feel. The Hulk was as far from Bruce's mind as a forgotten memory.

"There," Tony said. "We tested it, we just skipped all the gradual steps."

Tony started kissing at Bruce's neck again. "Looks like we're good to go," he said. Dear God he wanted to be good to go. He wanted it to be happening, to be real, to be _now._

"But…but we don't know what we're doing," Bruce said, not yet having exhausting his supply of roadblocks and hurdles. "I mean, neither of us has ever…"

Tony drew abruptly away from Bruce's neck and looked him dead in the eyes.

"Top or bottom?" he asked.

Bruce stared at him, stunned, too overwhelmed to speak.

"Bruce, top or bottom?" he repeated. "This isn't exactly rocket science, and if it were I'd be able to figure that out too. I'm not ignorant on this. I have internet access after all. What do you think I was doing on those nights when I couldn't sleep?"

Bruce's face turned a deep crimson.

"Bu-…but what about the Other Guy?" Bruce didn't know why he had slipped back into his old term for him. Maybe he was just too embarrassed to say his name out loud. "Like you said, what if he remembers? That could really, really complicate-"

Tony pressed his lips against Bruce's, cutting him off.

"Bruce," he said. "I've realized that the only fuck I give is the one I want to have with you, right here, right now. If the big guy remembers, I'll deal with it, because I'm not going to let an awkward moment and a difficult explanation keep us from this. You _deserve_ to have this. For once, just let someone else worry about dealing with the Hulk, okay? You don't have to. If he remembers, I'm the one who will have to talk to him and I will bare that cross for you. I will bare the hell out of it."

Bruce's heart swelled with emotion. Tony was so good to him. He wanted nothing more than to be with him, and Tony _did_ seem to have beaten down all of his resistances so far. But still…

"We don't have lubrication," he blurted, the thought occurring to him. "We should have that." It was a legitimate concern. All of Bruce's alter-ego issues aside, they were still just two men who were going to be intimate, and that was just as much a part of their reality as turning green was.

"Bruce…" Tony whispered. "We're in a lab. We're geniuses. I know for a fact that I could _make _lube for us from the supplies in that cabinet across the room, right behind you."

"You know the chemical composition of sexual lubricant?" Bruce asked.

Tony tsked. "Of course I do. I'm a genius and a reformed skank. How could I not know these things?"

Bruce continued to stare at him. "You're going to have sex with me with home-made lube?" he asked, a bit amazed.

Tony tilted his head to the side. "That was the plan," he said simply.

Bruce looked down and blushed. "Is it weird that I think that's hot?"

Tony grinned and laughed. "Wait right here," he said, and kissed Bruce's forehead before heading to the previously mentioned cabinet. Bruce sat up on the table and swung his feet back and forth nervously while he waited for Tony to come back. He kept checking himself for any sign of the Hulk, but he wasn't there. Not sitting dully on his chest or resting heavily in the pit of his stomach. Not even buzzing around his brain like he had before Bruce's last transformation. Bizarrely, Bruce felt strangely alone for a moment. But then Tony returned and Bruce told himself it was simply Tony he'd been missing, not the Hulk. Of course not the Hulk.

"Okay," Tony whispered in his ear. "We're all good. Anything else you can think of against this?" Tony asked.

Bruce thought long and hard. He really did. He knew that he had to be certain, but he couldn't come up with anything. He wanted it. Badly. From the moment he had first realized his feelings and kissed Tony, he had been craving the man. He had managed to keep it at a slow simmer, but in that moment he had begun to boil over. He felt like there was a gaping hole inside of his soul that only Tony could possibly fill. He needed Tony, or he'd break apart into pieces. There was no fear. None. To experience this kind of arousal with no hint of terror for the first time in his life...it was utterly intoxicating, irresistible, overwhelming.

"No," Bruce finally said. "No, I…oh Tony, please," he whimpered, finally giving in to the want.

Tony grinned, finally allowed to commence with what he wanted so powerfully.

"Why are you still wearing this shirt?" Tony asked crossly, grabbing it by the edges and tearing it open, sending buttons flying across the lab.

Somehow, naturally, Bruce ended up lying back on the table with Tony hovering above him, hands on either side of his head, straddling him.

"You, ah-" Tony licked his lips distractedly. "Never answered my question," he said. Bruce knew which question he meant.

"I don't know," Bruce mumbled. "I don't know what I am. But…" he looked Tony in the eyes, and in a moment of surprisingly confident honesty said, "But I think you're a top."

Tony nodded. He thought he was too, at least to start out with. He was glad they were on the same page.

Knowing that this was really going to happen, Tony took the moment to lay across him and bring their lips together, kissing him deeply, focusing on nothing more than the rhythm of their mouths as their lips melded together in unity. They could each hear "I love you," as clearly as if they'd read each other's minds, although they'd spoken nothing out loud. That moment more than anything else seemed to clarify with all certainty that they were each other's other halves. It was such a beautiful moment, filled with the purest expression of their love, their need to connect to each other. Tony with Bruce, Bruce with Tony.

But then Tony remembered that they were still wearing pants and he simply could not abide by that. He pulled away and started undoing Bruce's. Bruce lifted his body from the table so that Tony could tear them off of him, boxers and all, leaving him naked.

Bruce sat up and unzipped Tony's pants, but wasn't in a position to do more than that. Tony looked him directly in the eyes, and removed his pants without breaking eye contact. Shivers stampeded down Bruce's spine.

For a few moments their eyes were full of each other, taking in bare flesh, until Tony laid a gentle hand on Bruce's chest and eased him back down, once again positioned above him.

Their eyes caught and for a moment all they could do was drink in every detail of that moment. They could both feel the hot breath of the other's heavy breathing on their bare skin. They were flushed, blood rushing through every vein in their bodies like wind through a tunnel. Everything felt surface level, like they could brush across each other's skin and touch their very souls.

The need. The burning, overwhelming need inside of them was threatening to utterly take them over. Neither of them was sure where they felt the passion stronger, in their groins or in their hearts, because as much as they were dying for that sweet, primal release, equally powerful was the desire to connect, just connect, to be a part of each other for one glorious instant in time and space.

Tony grabbed at Bruce, kissing his desperately. He loved him. Loved him so much. He couldn't believe that less than a month ago he hadn't even known how much he needed this man.

Bruce gripped Tony in return, wrapping his arms around his back and pulling him forcefully against his chest, feeling the smooth metal of the arc reactor press into him. For once in his life he forgot any and all ideas about restraint, about being judged, or about making mistakes. He didn't care. He was with Tony and he could do whatever he wanted. He slipped his tongue in Tony's mouth and made him groan.

"Oh, fuck Bruce," Tony whispered.

And that's exactly what they did.

Afterwards, they lay side by side on the table, panting and sweating, in a state of dazed bliss.

"Tony?" Bruce asked after having laid there long enough for his thoughts to come back to Earth.

"Hm?" Tony answered, his thoughts still rushing from the sensory overload he'd experienced.

"There are two things that I want right now," Bruce began. "One: food, because I just realized we never actually ate breakfast, and two: to get in an actual bed and snuggle the crap out of you. This table has served us well, but I want a mattress."

Tony grinned. "If this is what you require, this is what you shall receive."

They scrambled back into their clothes, first having to hunt down Bruce's pants, and boarded the elevator.

"They're going to know," Bruce said. "You tore my shirt apart," he laughed, looking down at the decimated article of clothing currently exposing the length of his chest.

"You could have one of mine," Tony offered. "Oh wait, no, that would only be even more obvious," he said after re-thinking it.

Bruce chuckled. "I don't really mind if they know."

Tony cocked his head to the side. "You won't be embarrassed? I thought this sort of thing embarrassed you. Isn't that why I got gamma'd yesterday?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Tony, you pissed me off yesterday because you were bringing up a discussion that should have been private, in front of _everyone_. We're adults. I don't care if they know we're having sex, I'd just like to keep the details between us."

Tony frowned thoughtfully. "Well, you do know that they're going to pick up on _some_ of the details at least, right? I mean…for instance, the location. They know we went down to my lab."

Bruce blushed and looked away. "Well… I suppose that can't be helped."

Tony smirked. "I'm a little amazed you went for that. On top of the table and everything. Seems a little too kinky for you."

Bruce let out a huff. "Well how was I supposed to resist? You were involved. That pretty much makes all other details irrelevant.

"Aww," Tony smiled. "I love you too." He drew in close to Bruce and embraced him with a kiss.

When the doors opened, Tony decided to at least pretend what they'd done wasn't utterly obvious. If privacy was something Bruce cared about, he was going to start trying harder at it, even if it was futile in this case.

With that in mind, Tony peered out of the elevator at his fellow Avengers. They were all sitting on the sofas; Steve reading the paper, Natasha cleaning her gun, and Clint surfing channels on TV. Clint was the first to look up and spot them. His eyes caught on them and his expression went slack.

"Oh," he said in surprise, making the other two look up as well. "I really thought you guys were kidding about fucking on the lab tables…" he said, eyes wide at the disheveled sight of them

Tony shrugged. "We were."

Natasha raised a single red eyebrow. "So...Bruce's shirt just tore all by itself?" she asked skeptically.

Tony shrugged again while Bruce walked into the kitchen and went to root around in the fridge, leaving Tony to deal with the babysitters. "Funny how that happens," Tony said dismissively in response to Natasha's question.

"And your hair," Clint went on. "Looks like a sweaty tornado hit it…just cuz?"

Tony ran a hand over his hair and gave them a blank look. "We were doing science?" he tried weakly.

Bruce returned with various food stuffs thrown into a large bowl. He may not be able to cook, but he could locate things that didn't need it well enough.

"C'mon," he said, the need to fill his belly and spoon Tony within an inch of his life becoming urgent.

Tony grinned. "Okay." They started to head to their room when Steve stood abruptly. They both realized that up until that point there had been far less of a reaction from Steve than they would have expected.

"I am very disappointed in both of you," he said coldly.

That froze everyone in their tracks. For a moment they were all simply silent as Steve glared at the two scientists, and the two scientists stared blankly back at him.

"Excuse me?" Bruce spluttered eventually, completely thrown off by the confrontation.

"You're not even married!" Steve huffed, throwing his arms out.

Bruce stared at him for a long moment, stunned and silent, before bursting out into laughter. He laughed so hard that tears started to form in his eyes, and Tony had to take the food away from him so that he wouldn't drop it.

"_What?_" Steve asked, put off by Bruce's reaction.

"It's just-ahahahha- oh I'm sorry- heh heh- it's just…a day ago it made you uncomfortable that we were together at all, and now you want us to get married? The very fact that you just assume we _can_ get married…are you sure you're from the forties?" Bruce asked, still chuckling.

Steve frowned. "But…you're together, and you love each other. Why wouldn't you get married? Isn't this what you were talking about when you said these sort of relationships are more accepted now?"

"Same-sex marriage isn't legal in most of the country, Steve," Bruce told him.

"It is in New York," Natasha said almost absent mindedly. But they all knew that they happened to_ be_ in New York, so she must have been making a point.

Steve looked back and forth between her and Bruce. He was about to say something more when Tony cut him off.

"Look," he said, sounding irritated. "I know you're confused, and have all these misplaced morals that you don't know how to deal with, but figure them out before you start trying to apply them to us, okay? There's nothing wrong with what we just did, not a damn thing, and if you try to tell me that there was then I'll kick your ass."

Tony gave Steve a hard stare before grabbing Bruce's hand and dragging him over to their bedroom, holding the door open for him. Bruce looked at Tony, then at Steve, then shrugged and went inside.

Before following after him however, Tony did something that shocked each of his teammates.

He gave Steve a quick, fleeting, apologetic look.

Because in all honesty, he'd wanted to give Steve Rogers a damn hug when he'd said that he and Bruce should get married. Although he _had_ truly been defensive in the face of Steve's morality, his main goal had been to end the conversation and keep his true desires from Bruce.

Because he was happy. Tony Stark was the happiest man on the face of the planet, and the fact that marrying Bruce would only make him happier didn't change that. He was _determined_ not to forget that. He had just made the man he loved his lover, and he was going to take a page out of Bruce's book and just _live in that moment._ Because out of all the moments in Tony's life, this one deserved to be lived in more than any other.

That was what he was thinking of while he held Bruce in his arms, snacking on the food Bruce had grabbed from the fridge, simply laying in bed together.

They cuddled together in silence for a while before Bruce spoke.

"Tony…" he began. "He's coming back slowly, but…I'm so happy right now, I can barely feel the Hulk."

Tony was quiet a moment. "…that's good, right?" he asked.

"I don't know," Bruce mumbled. "It feels good. It feels _amazing._ But it worries me. Things are becoming unpredictable with him. He shows up when I'm not angry, goes away and actually lets me be happy…who knows what else might start happening? If I can't predict him, how can I control him?"

Tony leaned over and kissed the top of Bruce's head. "Don't worry. Whatever happens, I'll be here to look after you. I'll make sure you're safe."

There was that feeling again, swelling up inside Bruce's heart, that feeling of utter safety that Tony constantly inspired. Giving his body to him had only helped solidify the flawless trust that he had in Tony Stark. He wanted so badly to trust himself half as much, a quarter as much…but he still needed time.

As long as Tony was willing to give him that time though, and as long as that time could be filled with precious moments like this, he felt like he was doing alright. He tried to remember why he had put up all that resistance, why he'd felt the need to fight something that had been so right.

The other day he'd wondered if he even knew how to be happy. He was starting to think that he didn't, but that Tony did, and that he was going to show him.

Bruce snuggled closer to Tony, feeling more whole and complete than he had in his entire life.

Tony chuckled softly. "We are so going to end up taking another nap…"

Bruce grinned. He thought that Tony was probably right about that, but he didn't care. He was with Tony and he could do whatever he wanted.

It was the best feeling in the world.

* * *

A/N cont.

As always, please review.


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